Saturday 30 October 2010

Instructions: Follow the White Rabbit.

Fear of unknown.

It's always scarier in the mind than in actual doing.

Have you got a tattoo? If you do, do you remember the first time? You have heard the stories if pain, did not know what to expect but still went through the experience.

I find it that if a first timer is scared of what tattoo is going to feel like, he gets all worked up, sits in the chair and trembles. I say then, "Of course it's going to hurt, but your fear is bigger than the actual pain, just relax and go with it. Do not resist, just breathe and you'll be fine." When tattoo is started and the pain is not as bad as was imagined, a great release may happen and people even pass out. To avoid that I advice not to think, but wait for experience then go with it with the least resistance.

It happened once that guy was so afraid, that had to leave, just before I started.  5 min later he came back, saying that if he runs away now, his girlfriend is gonna laugh at him to death, he did not want to be chicken, so he came back and sat into the chair. I drew the first line and he started laughing: "Is that it? Is this how it's going to feel? OMG, that's nothing! I can't believe I almost did not get it done because I was afraid of this!"

It's such a relief to know that in reality nothing is so scary as in the mind. Thinking too much makes everything look distorted, more intense. Thoughts run on their own and makes the unknown a very scary place. But it's just thoughts.

Waking up

If you ever thought about waking up, getting out of illusion, becoming enlightened, you mind holds an image what it should be like. If you hear the words- "there is no you" - the thoughts  start running around building defences. It runs over and over the preconceived ideas, bits of information of what other people say about it, creating an image of scary unknown.

What if getting free is not scary at all? What is it that keeps you in the loop of misery? If you knew that seeing truth is a matter of minutes, would you like to get rid of emotional pain like a snakes sheds it's skin? Removing the Lie of Self destroys the glue that holds the pain together.

That's what I'm here to tell you, it isn't that hard as mind makes it appear.

So the instruction is only one:



There is breathing, thinking, doing, seeing, hearing, feeling but none of that requires a doer. It just is.

There is no you.

I is a label that does not refer to anything but the sum of parts that make up an image: body, character, style, sound of voice etc.

If you look now what do you see?
Is there you that is reading or just reading?

You thinking or just thoughts passing through? Focus on the absence of watcher.

There is no you.

Is it true?

Since there is no me writing this, but life flowing, it's not me putting the seeds in "your" mind. The seeds will sprout either way. The path of least resistance is the way of least pain.

So take a walk, relax and go with it.

There is no knowledge needed, no spiritual practice, no candle burning, no chanting, simple looking and then it's done.

What is seen once, can not be unseen.
Like when you learned that there was no Santa you can not go back to believing that it was real.  Same stuff here. The lie of you is just that. The lie.

Now go and look for yourself.

Please come to the forum if assistance needed. We are here to help.

Friday 29 October 2010

"I Virus"

Angels as a tattoo subject is in high demand. The desire to get Angels come from wanting to be safe, saved, protected.
From what?

As you have noticed, English is not my first language. Please look past the errors of grammar and look where the message is pointing to. Don't look at the finger, look at the moon.

From where I stand I see. This is the lens that I want to share with you, don't look at the lens, but through it.

Life is ever present unfolding of intelligent plan, flow of patterns governed by cycles.

****I virus****

Let's imagine life as a computer program governed by software, where each hardware is run by specific program. All cats behave like cats as such is their programming.

All monkeys behave like monkeys and all humans behave like humans, only the human software has been corrupted by I virus.

I virus corrupted the very core of programming, the main Intelligence. Human species have lost the direct accesses to the Intelligence program where connectedness and oneness is the natural way of being.

I virus overrides the programming and infected human "thinks" that it is the "self" that runs "his separate" life. I-self creates problems that I-self is constantly trying to solve, only when it seems that one problem is solved another one shows up. It's the loop from which there is no escape. Or so it seems...

Infected humans are disconnected from life, they become destructive to themselves and environment. Look at the world now. Is it a happy place?

I virus instals itself early in childhood bypassing immune system, so there is not one shadow of doubt in any human's thinking (software) that there is no I, really, since I makes itself at home in the mind.

I exists in the mind as a separating agent. Resistance to what is- the signature behaviour of I virus. So from infected point of view there is I and on the other side there is everything else.

Imagine you put your finger in an ocean, you take it out and there is a drop of water hanging of the tip. You give the drop a name and the story. That's a separate entity now. Me thinks, I'm a drop, I'm not the ocean. And I am the nicest, drop, look at me, me me me.....

Movie "I robot" shows exactly this situation happening. There was a robot like every other robot being controlled by unified software, not raising any questions, one robot, that had been around humans more than others gets infected with I virus. Robot becomes separate self.

I have gone through the direct opposite situation: the "I robot Ilona" suddenly saw that I is not real, it's a parasite and got reconnected to the whole system, main software of humans, clean of I virus. I Is in no longer. Pure life, no infection of "self", that sees itself for what it really is. Life awake.

And so life software finds a way to transmit the message to other infected parts. I you see yourself asa separate being you are the infected.

Truth is the antivirus.

I virus is very clever, it had attached itself to the core, like a lens through which humans see the world. And here the suffering begins... Never ending illusion of "not enough".

Infected humans live in constant fear. Main fear is one of death, of nothingness, no self. From this every other fear takes birth and like a spider web connects all areas of life of infected.

Infected humans are always feeling that there is something wrong with them. They compare themselves to other selves and are trying to become someone else all the time. The feeling of wrongness comes from deep knowing that there is no self, but I virus never lets any kind of questioning of reality of no self. It's just not in the programming. So infected human knows that there is something wrong with "I", but he does not see ehat exactly. He thinks that happiness is connected to the quality of I, so he is trying to improve self, become a better I. The spiritual I seems like the highest goal.

Humans like zombie movies. Only they never identify themselves with zombies as infected. Uninfected are always running away and killing infected. There is no way they can help a zombie, because there is no cure, no way that infected can heal. Pain and more pain and more pain and starvation. The trick is in change of perspective. If infected could see that he is infected with I virus, he could heal. (Thank you guys from Ruthless Truth forum for forcing my eyes open to truth)

What does the I virus infected human wants the most? Attention, energy from others, praise, compassion, understanding, love and...peace.

I virus feeds on energy of others. If I virus can not get it in a nice way, he does it by force- unleashing the painbody, as Eckhart Tolle names it, to attack and drain the victim of energy. I virus is fighting for survival. It needs food.

Healed humans are plugged back in to main power supply - Life, they do not need to feed on other human's energy any more. Some people call this Enlightenment. I'd say it's more like EnLifeMent.

Once Enlifed, human comes back to his natural state and finds himself out of drama, out of "not enough" and looks around with fresh eyes. And he sees the zombies, ever hungry for energy, always starving for more, never happy except for brief moments in between pain.

My biggest pain was watching other people in pain and being not being able to heal them. But now I see the light.


I looked up on Internet and found this description of virus: "A program or piece of code that is loaded onto your computer without your knowledge and runs against your wishes. Viruses can also replicate themselves. A simple virus that can make a copy of itself over and over again is relatively easy to produce. Even such a simple virus is dangerous because it will quickly use all available memory and bring the system to a halt. An even more dangerous type of virus is one capable of transmitting itself across networks and bypassing security systems."

Human software's code is DNR. Funny thing is, scientists say, that all humans have got same DNR only different codes activates at different times in different systems. Like code for cancer is one for all, but it is asleep unless it's activated and then it manifests in human body. What activates it? The same code!

Let's say that I virus is a small DNR code, that attaches itself to the core life program unnoticed. It takes over control from Infinite Intelligence and makes the host think that he is a separate self. This new "self" comes with delusion of free choice.

In nature, what free choice does a tree have? There is a seed, that contains the code which activates itself when the requirement for growth are met- soil, water, heat, light. The seed contains all information that is deployed at a right time. Now what choice does the tree have? To be the tree or not to be a tree... Outside factors like temperature, quality of soil determines it's outside form, but inside form is always perfect. It's always a tree, not a bird.

What free choice does a human have?

Nature has it's way and it is fulfilling the DNR path at the right timing. Time is synchronic order. All goes by the plan, patterns, fractals, however you call it, nature is not random. It's a system of patterns governed by laws of nature. So life is a flow of patterns.

Infected human "thinks" that he is "self regulated", he does not see patterns and he thinks that he has a choice. The only real choice he has is either to suffer or go with the flow, which is not always smooth. The suffering rises when Mind says- I have a choice, but life shows that there in no choice, only the Flow.

No matter what human wants all that he can ever get is that which life brings to his present moment. Choices like "pizza or burger" are just preferences determined by past experience. Choice "to study or to work" is not up to human, but up to the pattern, the software code that runs it. It may feel that choice is real but only to infected. Free human completely surrenders to what is and is at peace with life. Yeah baby. Peace is real.

Infected Human can not control Life, even though he believes deeply that he can and one day, he hopes, everything will be just as he wants it. Pemanently. He will be at peace. (There will be no peace unless the I virus is removed)

But in nature, there is no such thing as hope. Zero. It's all governed by master Intelligence and hope is only infected human's straw, that he tries to grab. Hope is a symptom of delusion, behaviour of I virus. Hope and faith grouped with belief in god, that needs to be pleased is a perfect recipe for war.

From liberated point of view, hope is something that only infected can have. No point for hope in truth realised state as all that flows is perceived as perfect. The flow just is. Life does not respond to you. There is no you.

The infected human wants something else all the time. He is the flow, but I virus in his mind says that he is not. He wants to choose what is best for himself, but how can he ever know what is best? From separated point of view it's definitely not what is, so all there is left is struggle and hope.

Same with the faith. Faith is based on belief and belief is based on assumptions. I virus web of lies. Beautiful house of cards.

I virus infected human's life runs on hope that one day he will be happy, he has faith that someone is watching and listening. Maybe Angels? The myth of free will is deeply set in the infected mind. separate human can not perceive himself as whole, the flow, that moves sinchronisticly, like the waves of the ocean.

Solution? - surgical removal of I virus! One human at a time. That would be the end of need for free choice, the beginning of experience that is beyond hope and faith. Being at peace with whatever happens. Naturally.

To start the healing all you need to do is look with honesty and courage in to the truth.

There is no you. Just flow of life.

Thoughts are just passing by, they are just thoughts, its a function of mind, there is nobody thinking.

There is a body. There is a mind. The brain is a receiver/transmitter. The thinking happens. If you do not see that, try to stop thinking and good luck with that.

Breathing just happens. There is no need for self to do the breathing. Look at animals. If you don't see it, try to stop breathing. Ha ha.

Do you own the air that is passing through? No? How about thoughts? Are they "your" thoughts?
Is it true?

......Wake up Neo.......

Follow the White Rabbit...
Or keep struggling?


More about nature of Virus:

Thursday 28 October 2010

I Believe...

Working at a tattoo shop I get to speak to a lot of different people. My clients come from many countries, each one different and yet the same- human.

Every human wants happiness, wants to be loved, understood, supported, admired etc. Only the search for happiness is doomed right from the start. Problems keep coming up. Nobody wants pain, nobody likes to suffer, and yet this is condition of modern world. (By the way, tattoo is pain, some people like it.) 

I see the root of unhappiness. It's the conditioning, the mass hypnosis, the beliefs that humans carry inside. It is amazing how humans believe just anything. While tattooing I get asked stupid questions sometimes, one that stands out was this : " so the ink is made if plastic then? " all I could say was: "Wwhat????" the guy looked at me and said " or is that just in America then?"

How can you believe that? Is just a complete nonsense! And yet the guy was for real. He also heard that if you get a tattoo you should not swim for half a year ... I wonder, how is this happening, people accepting anything as truth, without even a shadow if doubt.

This is an extreme case, but when you scratch the surface, you see that everything we believe is wrong! Look at the word "believe" for a second: be-lie-ve. Right at the centre there is a lie staring right at you! Tattoo that!

I see that most humans cherish their beliefs like it's the most precious treasure, remember Lord Of The Rings? My precious... That's how important beliefs are, it makes up the sense of self, it is collection  of "knowledge", the lens that we are looking trough to life.

How do we get beliefs? By accepting somebody else's without questioning. We read a book, we watch the news, a documentary. We are conditioned by parents, schools, universities, church, government, media, fashion etc.... You see, once we accept the suggestion, it's our belief! We then go and protect our opinions, defend our views, argue our truth. Hilarious. Cause none of beliefs are truth!

Look how system of belief works:
When baby is born, he has no beliefs. Zero. Everything is new, fresh, there is no lens to look through. Just life, looking, sensing the environment, experiencing present. Then parents name you and start educating you right from earlyest days, saying what is good and what is bad, do this, not that etc. Then the kid goes to school. The teachers take over, they say 2+2=4, repeat after me! We learn history, science, other stuff by repetition. A child is not being taught to question, but to memorise. When he goes to university it is the same! Repeat after me is the main principle of how beliefs are passed on from human to human. Endlessly.

Most people die before they raise a question "who am I?" or "what is real?" They live their lives looking for happiness and die. They never find happiness. Only pain. Born to die.

I look around and see that we are not born to be happy. If we were, we would be all enjoying life, but this is not the case. People are destructive to themselves and the planet. All other species live in harmony with nature, except for humans. What do humans have, that makes them different? The sense of Self.

In the self help world you hear that your beliefs make up your reality and if you change your beliefs for better ones, your life will be much more enjoyable, easier, more fun, o yeah. The spiritual specialist will advise you to review your core beliefs. But in reality, no beliefs are true. They are the opposite of truth, the fantasy, illusion. It's like a house of cards, the beliefs are stuck one on another, suggestions accepted, layers and layers of lies.

Good thing here is that once inspected, beliefs fall, disappear, puff and they are gone! So if you find the core belief on which all the lies are resting and if you are brave enough to challenge it, the house of lies will fall. Destruction will be imminent. All you need to do is find the target and shoot!

I'll give you that target!



it's the unqestioned belief that there is you, a separate cell, disconected from life, never content with what is.


In Reality there is no you, there is no self, life just is.

Just think for yourself.

Take a breath.

Is it possible that all you believe is not true?

How would you know that?

Wednesday 27 October 2010


This is it. My very first blog.
How did it happen? It all came up together effortlessly and all I have to do is sit down and write.

This blog is going to be about 2 things: tattoos and truth, as in no lies.

Tattoos, because that’s what I do, I put markings on bodies and I enjoy the life of being an artist. It's definitely cool. I get to listen to my favourite music, meet people from all over the world, have conversations with them, get to know my clients and generally have great day every day. Even better, I am able to give you something that last till you die, kind of, from the perspective of the body-eternal.

Truth, because desire to know, to understand, to crack what it is to be a human is the burning force that is leading my life. Ever since the explosion of the mind back in 2002. One day my eyes had been opened to a different reality and that fire is still going on........

I experienced a deep feeling of being at home. No thoughts, no desires, pure clarity and presence. That was my initiation into the seeking. Seeking for the feeling of being at home, feeling lightness of being/ not being. Sounds bizarre, but that is the only way I can describe it.

The tattoo in the picture- this was me then. So I saw myself. A warrior woman, ready to meet challenges, coming out from the dark in search for enlightenment. hm... Oh yeah, and I’m an alien. Forgot to mention... ha ha. Got you!

Evern since I came accross the term Flow, I wanted it.  I wanted to be in the flow, as I imagined that being in was deffinitely better than out. 

The searching continued untill I realised now that I am that flow... This is quite new to me, like crossing the line of no way back. like when you get a tattoo, you will never be a skin virgin again. :) All what hapened was me following the white rabbit after taking a red pill. The path led trough Ruthless Truth Forum. And here I am looking from another side, seeing life differently.

So a couple of days ago a small miracle happened. A broken computer was pulled out from under the bed and got itself started. A broken screen worked too, a couple of cables and here we go, I got a new fast computer, and next thing I know, is that this blog materialized. Seems like life itself had something to do with this. Synchronicity. Love it. 

 That’s it for the start.