From Seeking To Seeing

I was a seeker once. I was looking for something. I did not know what that was, but I had heard stories about enlightenment, awakening, constant bliss—I wanted that. I knew that where I was at the time wasn’t it. I had an urge to find out what the holy grail was that would make my life better in every way.

Somebody once asked me straight, “What are you looking for?” And I replied, “Enlightenment.” Did I find that? No, but I am not looking for it anymore. I stopped chasing ideas and found something else instead: peace. Not in a way that everything is quiet and slow, but in a way that there is much less internal narration about what is “not enough.” Everything is just fine. There is no more judgment of good versus bad, no more fight of good versus evil. There is a silence of mind that is much more delightful than fighting what is.

The seeking pattern has stopped running. The drive that was here before, trying to get/achieve/improve something, is now absent. There is openness instead, a spaciousness that allows all happenings to pass without internal friction. If I get annoyed, which I still do, it lasts only a short time and gets resolved quickly.

Seeking is a form of striving energy that wants to get somewhere. This, here and now, is not what it wants. There is something else to get so that the tension will cease. But it does not cease; it only takes small breaks. The “happy tomorrow” does not arrive; it feels like you are trapped in an unwanted time and place, a prison that has no doors. The seeking continues. New books, videos, talks, gurus—they all seem to have something desirable, yet not achievable. How to get off of the seeking merry-go-round?

There is a flip from seeking to seeing, and it is not what the mind thinks. It is not about making something external change so that I will feel more comfortable; it’s internal. The energy that feels intense wants to be felt—fully, openly, purely felt. When we look at what seeking itself is, rather than toward the direction of where our attention is going, seeking can be seen as a mechanism, a pattern, a strong energy. Observing it with conscious awareness, recognizing it, and then feeling the sensation melts it like a sun melts a cube of ice.

So, if you are looking for something, stop for a minute and feel the sensation that is driving the search. This sensation is here, and it does not matter so much why it is here, or who put ideas of “not enough” in the mind. What matters is that this sensation is recognized and fully felt. Seeking for flips to looking at. Once the energy is allowed to be fully present and embraced, the mind becomes relaxed, spacious, soft; it no longer feels the tension.

Try this exercise. Feel the sensation of “not enough.” Feel the sensation of lack. This sensation has a location in the body. Observe it. Allow it. Let it be as it is for a minute or two. Don’t think about what should be different or how much you dislike it; just feel it as it is. Be honest with your own feeling. Be curious about the sensation. Let it enfold you fully, even if it is intense. What is behind it?

Doing this a few times a day may feel like practice. But it’s worth it to remember and engage with this, because the more you become honest with the feelings that are arising—the more you look at what is—the less there is striving for something else. It’s a focus shift from seeking to seeing; all it takes is a conscious look at what is actually happening here and now. The mind can find peace, and that’s the end of the seeking pattern. Then a whole new world opens up—the one that was always here, always present, but was ignored or unnoticed, because of that constant nagging feeling of it not being enough. Thoughts stop running wild; there is more spaciousness felt. There is ease and lightness.

Seeking ends, but exploration continues. And exploration is a different kind of energy—it has a sense of wonder, curiosity, playfulness, and childish innocence. There is no more striving to get out of an unwanted situation, but rather resting in the situation that is neither wanted or unwanted but simply is.

The Path

How do you know what path to take?

There is only one path- your own, which is perfect for you. No one else can take you there, only you.

I meet a lot of seekers through the Liberation Unleashed forum. They all are looking for something. Normally, seeking includes: reading books, following prescriptions, learning new methods, searching for wisdom, looking for answers that someone could provide. That's all good, of course, and it is part of the path. Each path is as unique as we are. There is not one way or one method that would fit all. That is the difficulty for the seeker- which way to go, who to follow, how to reach that perfect state?

There is only one path and it's purely your own. Following someone else is not going to get you to the desired 'happily ever after'. Following good advice can be useful and if taken as an inspiration, it can bring you to different ideas for sure, but nothing taken from outside has the same value such as when you know that you are following your own heart.

The Liberation Unleashed forum is a place where seekers meet 'The Gate'. Everyone that comes to LU are looking for something and it is here that we point where to look so that the seeking can end and the seeing, finding can begin. 'The Gate' is a point of recognition, that the separate self, (as we thought it was) never really was. The seeker was never there, there was only seeking, trying to understand, analyse, interpret and describe something that words can't touch.

Once 'The Gate' is crossed, once the seeing really happens experientially, once it sinks in, the life no longer feels and looks the same. And then we are back on a path. This time, it's not about finding a new method or system, but turning within and undoing all that was built upon the idea of a separate person running the show. It's all about deconstruction, releasing, surrendering, where the old belief system falls away and the new way of seeing emerges and stabilizes. This process takes some months and years, clearing. It's not something that happens instantly like many seekers hope for. There is a lot to examine, investigate, clarify. Some methods learned from teachers, indeed can be fun, useful and helpful, but you can not be a follower anymore. If you are following, that's not freedom. Freedom is finding your own path, that works for you! That may include some tips and suggestions and useful techniques, when they are needed, for a period that they are needed. But, if you are finding yourself in someone else's crowd of followers, you have been hypnotized, which can happen easily, as mind wants something to hold on to, something to feel safe.

There is only a short journey to make- from here to here. From thinking to being. From being lost in thoughts about what is not happening to stillness and awareness of what IS. This journey can seem long and twisted, but in essence we are never not here and not now, it's only a matter of focus shift. And of course, calm, peaceful mind can see this instantly, while mind that has a lot going on simply can not find. Thoughts are too intense, too many.

The path is really about finding the way to get that beautiful mind to relax so it can be aware of presence. Don't buy into techniques that want your praise and attention. Don't follow leaders that have something that you do not have. Find your own way that brings that calm and joy of being closer. The sooner you start tuning inside, the sooner you will find what works for you.

All I am saying here is that no one can do it for you, no method can do it for you, no path of someone else will take you home. Finding your own way is freedom. Freedom to be you in all the glorious uniqueness. Just like a flower that does not need to know the way or method to bloom.

Hello, Pressence

"Truth will set you free," we know these words. I've had that as a signature in the LU forum since the beginning. Only recently did I change it to "Truth recognized will set you free". And here is why: Truth can not do anything if it is not consciously recognized and lived. If one is not receptive to it, no words of truth can do anything. You can be bombarded with truth all day long and it will not touch anything in you if there is no openness and no fertile ground for it to land.

So what is this truth that has the power to set you free? It's Presence.

We are aware, we are conscious, we can feel that we know. We can be still and feel that there is this spacious sense of presence. Here now, always available to be noticed, recognized consciously. This presence has a tone, a flavor; it's rich and full of aliveness.

The problem that one may have is how to still the mind to the point of being able to rest in a thoughtless space. There are many ways to practice that, meditation being the main exercise. You can also use technology, or whatever that works for you. The mind filled with fears and anxieties, shame, guilt and regret can not be still. It keeps working on trying to resolve and explain, protect a person. The mind can not relax until it thinks that it is its job to keep everything in control and in a certain way. It can not just sit still if it thinks that it needs to perform tasks and figure a way out of problems. But the only real function of the mind is to be aware! To be aware. The end. Let this sink.

The mind is doing work that is really not its work. Creating and solving problems is tension in itself, especially when problems seem to have no solutions. The tension builds up to the point of collapse or explosion. Neither are joyful experiences. Only calm, peaceful mind can get to stillness. Only when it's no longer pressuring itself into performing tasks that are not of its responsibility can the mind let go and be still.

Stillness is found inside. This is where we go silently, secretly and preciously. This is where the outside world is no longer relevant. Nothing from outside can give us peace. Changing the world outside is not of our power. It's only inside that we can find the home. And it's always here now. It is the Presence.

There are many words to point to the same Presence. Whatever word resonates, be it Self, Love, God, Life, Source, Buddha Mind, Christ Consciousness, Tao, Zen, The Great Spirit, Divine Presence, Consciousness, Aliveness, Being... You can call it whatever you like, even make up a word, as long as you consciously know what it means. I call IT Wooo, as that how it feels when the connection is made. Find your own word that hits the bulls-eye in your experience. Then find that which The Word points to in your experience. Here now, there is a sense of something being within- a sweetness, a silent joy of Being that feels like a flow of blissful lightness through the chest. Hello, Divine Presence. This is where we rest in the silent space of truth of Being. This is what the sages and gurus and wise men and women point to. The sacred place within, that Self-love, that Spiritual Heart that resides underneath all waves of thoughts and emotions.

Hello, Presence.

We rest in that presence and listen to what is there. Simply being open to it, being receptive. Listening rather than talking. Consciously recognizing it for what it is. (again use your own word here)

Bringing focused aware attention to just being, allows the system to re-calibrate, realign, refresh, erase all that no longer serves. Then there is a deep sense of peace and a delicious, calm feeling of completeness.

There is only one Presence. We can all tune into that and make a conscious connection with it. The silence that is felt, even for a few seconds--three to four times a day is the home. We don't need to solve problems and be concerned about the future- this activity won't give you a lasting sense of peace with what is. Take time to just sit in silence, dropping all pressure from the head, releasing all wants, shoulds, desires, desire for power and security, all trying to fix or change what is apparently not working and all expectations about what this experience could be like. Be there just for the sake of being connected.

This is IT. Rest in the silent aware space. What is that? What does it have to tell you? What feeling wants to be felt? Go deeper and deeper. This is where assurance that all is well and completeness can be felt. This is how the worldly problems melt away. Fall in love with the Divine Presence and how it feels. Fall in love with Love itself. That is where the connection with the ..... (use your word) happens. And when it happens, you know! You found the golden center of Being... abide in that and that will set you free.

Inspired by The Infinite Way teaching

Liberation Unleashed Intensive Retreat

Here is an invitation to step into the fire of Truth. This fire will burn all that is untrue, leaving you with a pure sense of being, aliveness, raw openness to what is. 

I have held many meetings since 2012 and I really enjoyed them. Every meeting was unique, with different questions asked, with different people coming. This time I feel to do an intensive three-day retreat. It will take place at the same Friends Meeting House in Worthing. This will be my last offering in the UK. The retreat will start on Friday evening and continue till Sunday night. This retreat is going to be focused on self-realization and clearing all the blockages that may stand in the way of recognition.

Awakening is a two-fold process of recognizing that you are not a what you think you are and realizing that life process does not stop, that there is aliveness, being, an openness that is always here, now, no matter how it seems. This process does not take you away from humanness, but rather brings awakening into everyday ordinary life. Integration of awakening is an ongoing process.

This meeting will be a lot of work and it will require your readiness and willingness to be fearless and open up, to be vulnerable, to be seen, to explore what hasn’t been explored yet. You can expect to release and let go of old patterns that no longer serve. You can expect to learn how to integrate experiences of retreat into your daily life. You will learn how to deal with emotions that are hard to deal with not by reading about it but from your own experience.

I will be guiding those that come to realize the non-separateness, the absence of I that apparently runs the show called “Individual”. I will be using Deep Looking method to undo the knots and release trapped energies, that seem persistent and in a way of peace. The group work is very powerful as we all hold safe and loving space for each other as we dive deeper into unknown. You may expect tears and laughter, release and relief that come with seeing through mind created illusions.

There will be enough time for everyone to ‘sit in a chair’ and meet your deepest issues. We will work together and face all that comes up with loving kindness. Coming together in retreat creates a powerful collective field of presence which ignites and supports each participant's awakening process. Deep surrender becomes possible in an environment of trust and honest desire for that which is true.

I will also bring my Ajna Light machine to the retreat. We will have two group sessions and you will have a chance to have individual sessions with no one disturbing you in a separate room. Ajna Light is very powerful tool for personal exploration of consciousness. It is a remarkable invention by Guy Harriman. You can read more about it here. There is a lovely interview with Guy here where he talks about how the machine was created and what it is for. Please watch the video to get to know a little about it. The Ajna Light experience will give you instant relaxation; it will detox and rejuvenate the mind, as it works directly on the pineal gland. The most common description of the experience is “WOW, I did not expect that!” This Light will heal what is ready to be healed and will boost positivity, joy of life; it will calm the mind of excessive thinking and will give you a sense of harmony and balance.


If you feel the call to come to the retreat, please register by sending me an email (markedeternal@gmail.com) to secure your place. You can pay by PayPal or by cash on the door. You may attend any or all of the day sessions. (Although you are highly encouraged to attend as many sessions as you can; there is something beautiful that happens when we give ourselves the time and space to deeply relax into the intimacy of a gathering.)

Program

Friday 20th of January 6pm to 8:30pm Introductory session.

Here we will meet as a group, everyone will be invited to share a little about their journey. We will gently easing into the work.

£15 on the door.

Saturday 21st January 10:30 to 8:30 whole day event.

10:30am Morning session with Ilona
1:00pm Lunch break. Individual Ajna Light sessions

3:00pm Afternoon session

5:00pm Break for snacks and refreshments, light sessions
6:00pm Evening session
8:00 Ajna Light group session

Saturday day alone £50 on the door

Sunday 22nd of January 1:00- 8:00 Whole day event

1:00pm Afternoon session 

3:30pm Break, free time. Individual Ajna Light sessions
5:00pm Evening Session
7:00pm Ajna Light Groups session

Sunday day alone £45 on the door
All three days £100

Every participant can have one individual Light session of 20 min on Saturday-Sunday.

There is a kitchen in the building where we can make tea, use a microwave, fridge, have snacks. You can bring your own lunch if you like. There will be tea provided. There is Tesco, Costa coffee, The Lazy Brunch Kitchen cafe and a really nice Thai restaurant only five minutes away from the venue. There is a quiet beach around 20 min walk. 

If you are coming from far away and need room to stay Airbnb is a perfect option, with the rooms starting from £25 a night. Please be aware that Worthing is deceivably large, so book your place closer to the venue. Friends Meeting House is located at 

34 Mill Road, Worthing, BN11 5DR

The nearest train station is West Worthing.

The room is warm, with comfortable chairs and cushions.

hope to see YOU there!
There are a few more places left, but the retreat is getting booked up pretty fast.

A Journey To Find Magic Part 2

Part 4 THE TOAD MEDICINE

On the second day Juan was performing Sapo ceremony, where bufo toad medicine was used. This was what I came to retreat for: to experience first-hand what this smoking toad is all about.

I was the first to smoke it. As I saw the pipe coming up to my mouth I thought- this is it. There was no fear. There was a sense of curiosity and excitement. As I inhaled the smoke and held it in, I could immediately feel it's effect. The colours changed, everything became more clear and vivid, there was a sense of heart opening and dropping into the arms of Life. We started with smaller doses, to get used to it, to taste it before the real hit. For me it was extremely gentle and soothing. It felt like body is evaporating, everything melted away, there was pure consciousness, presence, and only breath was here. I remember being in a place between life and death. I saw birds flying over the head, like shadows that were leaving me, I saw clear blue sky above and listened to soft sounds of singing bowls and sounds of the ocean. It was surreal. It truly is indescribable and I can't find words that would somehow tell what happened. Something happened. The mind was still. With an occasional thought passing by like those birds. There was simply looking with no commentary, seeing vividness and aliveness present all around. I was everything and nothing. This felt amazing. the gentle sounds of the ocean, the warmth of the sun, all was here. I was feeling serenity and deeper connectedness to all.

Some others have experienced complete obliteration, being shot out into the space, witnessing the place where stars are born, seeing golden light of life itself, brighter that the sun. I stayed here, knowing that this is only a beginning. Nowhere to rush, no need to seek anything, all is perfection in action. As it IS.

There was deep opening to life, surrendering fully, I felt parts of me melting away, and only thing that stayed was breathing, in and out, so simple, so alive. Juan and Diana were holding space beautifully, attending to us, singing, bringing incense to our noses, healing what needed to be healed.

After the fifth time of inhaling the vapour I was left with only word WOW... Wow.. Now looking back I can say that I felt being reconnected to nature, rewired to receive subtle energies and being prepared for whatever happens next.

Huge thanks for the shamans for making this medicine available and for holding space so firmly, skilfully and softly.

I was left with deep sense of wordless wonder..

Everyone around were transformed too. Amazingly the experience only lasts minutes, and when I came out everything was fine, like nothing happened, there was no "hangover" or physical change, all felt so natural, but something changed deeply. This was a reset of old life. There was a sense of freshness and wholeness, which stayed. 

Here is a link to Diana's and Juan's retreats

Part 5 DIRECT POINTING

The day after Sapo (the bufo toad) I started to share my gifts. For the next three days I held group sessions of Direct Pointing and gave one on one sessions of Deep Looking for a few participants. We gathered under a canopy roof, in the fresh air, enjoying the breeze that was soothing us. I started by saying how simple it is to realise that separate self is an illusion, setting the tone of discussion and getting people at ease. There is no need to be afraid of what may happen. In essence nothing happens, only a thought of me, a separate entity that is somehow on its own, separated from everyone and life itself, loses its certainty. One can no longer take the I thought for an entity, it seems rather ridiculous to assume that.

Barnaby read some excerpts from the new Liberation Unleashed book. It was interesting for me to hear it being read, I put so much work into it and so did other people, the final polished version sounded clear and to the point, which I was very happy about. The book is coming out in USA in a couple of days.

On the third day I had Deep Looking sessions in the group. This was the most powerful session as I could witness what this process does to people live. I usually worked one on one over internet, by texting. Sometimes with a couple of people at the same time. I could do whatever I was engaged in- like cleaning, cooking, ironing, walking, or just sitting. So working with a group and seeing how deep this process gets and how strong its effect is, was powerful experience for me too. In a matter of minutes, I could get people to go into the subconscious and bring the patterns, that no longer serve up, then get them released. Then the mind and heart would connect, the mind would drop its assumed position of general manager and get to soften. There would be love expanding and genuine sense of release.

Deep Looking process is just as powerful as shamanic medicines, it works on both conscious and unconscious levels, it makes adjustments in the system that untangles the mess in the head and frees the heart from mind created protective structures. Protection is fine where it's needed, and it is welcome of course, but some structures that mind creates are hurting the heart and that does not serve anything. Deep looking tool gets one to resolve old issues in a very short time for good. Simply by attentively listening what own mind and heart want.

It was a pleasure to be working with such open and receptive group. It was amazing to see how during those days everyone's faces continuously transformed and more joy entered. How there was bigger trust in life and willingness to take the hands off imaginary wheel. By using Direct Pointing, I could zoom into the individual blocks and get them questioned, I was zeroing on most efficient questions to ask so that my friends that came to look could see.

And here I want to thank Liberation Unleashed community for working together, refining this method and making it available for free for everyone that care enough to look. You guys and girls, that work on forum and in person are doing tremendous work, so needed at this time, so efficient and skillful. Thank you, my LU tribe! What we created on Internet has profound effect, I was blessed to see how it works live. Although I hold meetings in my town, this retreat was special, just because everyone was in tune and prepared by other people that worked their magic. This retreat was my first as a participant and facilitator, it was delightful to be part of it and share Direct Pointing. I could share the ultimate gift - being able to look for oneself at what is actually true and real. This is what Direct Pointing gives- a tool of looking. It can be used at anytime, anywhere. And nothing else is needed. It stands on its own and one can look again and again and see how in every situation, the assumed separate entity is only a thought, not an entity. It's great to experience shamanic medicine and it has its place in individual and collective journeys, but to wake up from assumed separateness nothing is required other than answering the ultimate question:

There is no separate self, no I entity, is it true- yes or no?

Anything other than silence is not the right answer. The right answer is when the question drops and no longer makes sense. There may be a laugh, or just a gentle drop of belief. And that's all. Once the no self is recognised there is no going back. The idea of self is seen to be a concept, not a perceiver of life. Life is seen to be living itself. Free to flow. Free to experience all. Whatever shows up.

Part 6 NEW TOOLS OF TECHNOLOGY

There were other power ingredients in the cauldron of Awakening Radiance retreat. I haven't mentioned yet the Ajna light. We were so lucky to have Guy Harriman with us. This man was like no one else I've ever met. He would say that people tell him that he is the weirdest person, but I would not call him weird. I met enough of weird people through my tattoo work to know what weird looks like. Guy was not fitting into this category. In fact, he is not someone that would fit into any category. He is unique and has amazing presence, both mysterious and enlightening at the same time.

He came to the retreat from Thailand where he has a non-commercial healing centre. He is an inventor of Ajna light. As he spent many years working in Silicon Valley creating computer chips, I cannot imagine how his mind works and what discoveries were made to make this light machine. In the first day we all had a taster- 10 minutes under the light. In those ten minutes I knew already how powerful and amazing this light was, I knew already that I have to get it and share it with as many people as I can. Why? You have to try it to believe it. If I tell you that I experienced the clearest, most pristine colours dancing in intricate mandalas, all with eyes closed, you may think I am bluffing. But it was real! The inner screen was lit up with incredible light that I have never seen before, nor I could imagine. This Ajna light decalcifies pineal gland which means that the so called third eye is activated and switched on. I have no idea how Guy created his machine, but it surely is the most amazing invention that I have ever had an opportunity to try. You can read more about it on Guy's website. Basically you do not need to go for shamanic medicines, you can just use this light and have the same hallucinogenic experiences without consuming anything. That is quite an invention.  

Later I had a couple of half hour sessions, I could go deeper into experience and just melt into the light. This was another huge WOW!
Guy brought us light and his presence, which was, again, beyond words.

That's not all... The next big thing was the experience of the Magic Carpet, as Kathie was calling this mat, created by Swiss bio engineers. This invention is just as amazing. Lying on the mat I could feel the whole body being activated and receiving vibrations that were healing, soothing, regenerating, energising, relaxing and toning all at the same time. The mat transmits frequencies of earth. If you have heard of Shuman resonance, of frequency of the planet, then it will be easy for you to understand what this mat is capable of. It heals body physically, it releases blocks effortlessly, it recharges cells like we charge our phones. You just lay down on a mat and let the magic carpet take you for a ride.

Combined, the light and the mat is like a turbo charge for the body and mind. When I stood up after half an hour session of both, I felt I was ready for ANYTHING. That was some feeling that I’ve never had. I was feeling so strong, harmonised fully and standing on my own two feet like never before. As if this system for the first time was fully charged, while previously on the best day it was running on half the battery. It is hard to describe as the change is on cellular level, but one thing I can say, this technology is out of this world. It's completely mind blowing. I'm so happy that Guy and Paul with Kathie brought these amazing tools and shared with us.

The way I see it, it's one thing to realise how separate self is an illusion and carry on living as we did. There is nothing wrong with that. Life goes on regardless. But there is another thing to use advanced technology to clear all that debris that was left in the system that manifests as illness in the body and sickness of the mind. Old patterns and severe traumas may linger and need some work. I have met beautiful people that are clear in seeing and are suffering from physical ailments. I have friends whose everyday life is a physical struggle, that requires so much energy to just to get by and do ordinary stuff. I had myself experienced pain recently in my shoulder and arm that was persistent and I had to try many different things to ease the pain. Including taking morphine based painkillers so that I could work and tattoo, without the pills I could not. I tried acupuncture, massages, fascia release, Chinese herbs, all kinds of rubs and ointments.. I know how it feels to be unable to perform physical tasks when pain is too big. With this new technology there is trust that body can heal fully and be at peak performance regardless of age and past traumas. 

The things I read about the Swiss Bionic Solutions gives me hope that everyone can heal. It sounds sci-fi and a bit out there, I agree, but this is no Stargate TV show, it's real and it's available. I will be inviting people to try it for themselves and make their own opinions about it. I have already ordered the Ajna light and the Swiss bionic mat as I know from my own experience how powerful this new technology is. And it's only a beginning!

One thing I can say- it is not for everyone. I'm not trying to say that you need this. I personaly love technology, I always had. I am curious about gadgets and inventions for exploring consciousness. I am not someone that would dedicate lifetime to go into a cave and meditate for hours. I much prefer to get the brain entrained by technology. My meditation practice started from Holosync. It was easy to put phones on and get into deep states in minutes. I could get into same states without listening to the CDs once my brain got used to the frequencies and learned to go in and out of meditative states effortlessly. I had lots of fun with monoaural, binaural, solffegio frequencies, sound healing technologies, so discovering light machine and the mat was most delightful surprise for my tech-geek side. I am so looking forward to see how this new technology journey will unfold, I feel it has a tremendous potential. So yes, there was another WOW to experience light, mat and music rolled into super charging- clearing- energising- mind blowing new age tech-enchilada. The light machine is amazing on its own, so is the mat, but together is something else! A nuclear device with tremendous potential, i'm really excited about that. 

Tomorrow I will tell about Ayahuasca ceremony and visit to a pyramid, stay tuned...


Part 3

Part 1

Liberation Unleashed Book

I am looking forward to the 1st of October, as that is when my book Liberation Unleashed is coming out. 

Writing this book was a whole journey, that started before I even knew it. It took a few years to gather the material, to shape and to polish it. I am really excited, that only in a few months it will be in the shops, on the shelves ready to be picked up by readers. I am exited not because I think it is great to be a published writer, but because this book has a real potential to make a huge change people's lives.

I put everything that I could say to a seeker, that worked, that pushed, that pointed to seeing that undivided wholeness of what we are. This book is packed with questions, practical and simple exercises, that can be used and tried out by anyone. It contains a few Direct Pointing guiding conversations that I had, where confusion was cleared and clarity was found. It also has a few articles from my blog and Seven Steps to seeing through the illusion of a separate self. All my work, crystallized, synthesized and put in order. My hope is that this work will reach out further, to more people and it will be the last book that is needed to read, in order to awaken from a dream of separateness.

These pointers and method truly work, as it is seen repeatedly on  Liberation Unleashed forum. Every day we have new member coming in and guides offering to help. There are six thousand members now, which is not a joke! It is incredible to see many guides, working there with seekers that come from all kinds of paths looking for peace, truth, clarity; taking them by hand out of the head into the experience, pointing where to look again and again, till all doubts are cleared.

I am so incredibly grateful for everyone involved in whichever way they can to support LU movement. It is amazing for me to hear about LU meetings happening here and there, people coming together in person, sharing, exploring and investigating together. It is great to hear about more and more people finding LU through friends, family, teachers, books of other authors, YouTube videos and the App. And soon this book, I hope, will make it so much easier for those that are ready to look, actually recognize the simple truth, that I, the separate self, is not what it appears to be. And that opens up a whole new view, a whole new way of life, with more space, trust and openness to what is happening... to what IS.

I noticed on Amazon, that there is a good deal of 21% off the price if you pre-order. I think it's worth it, if you consider buying it. It's a bit longer to wait for it to be released outside America, but it's coming! It will be out on December 29th.

Please share this post with anyone that might be interested, help to spread the news. And while waiting, if there is burning desire for truth, please register on the forum and start that journey through the gateless gate.

with love,
Ilona

Noirioni: Slowly, But Surely, Everything Seem to Fall into Place.

Noirioni:
Hi Ilona,

I have got a strong pull towards asking you to be my guide.
Will you help me?

I´m now 60 years old and I have been in the Zen/Advita ”business” for over 20 years!

About a year ago I was in bed and imagined myself to be a wave on the ocean.
And at the same time the feeling of being a separate person disappeared!
Suddenly I realized that it had always been like this, there was never a separate person.
Everything happened all by itself, ”I” had no control because ”I” didn´t exist.
This feeling lasted a few minutes and then everything returned to normal.
Thoughts kept coming up and feelings came and went.
Just like they had always done.

Now, when I try to ignore all that I have learnt, the following appears:

-There is awareness of experience.

-There seems to be someone (”I"?) or something experiencing sounds, sights, emotions...

-There seems to be some connection between experiencing and the body (when I
close my eyes visuals disappear, when I close my ears sounds disappear…)
Experience seems to happen through the body?

-What I call ”me” is the one that is experiencing everything.

-Feelings and thoughts seem to be private (I can´t know what you are thinking, feeling).

-What am I seeing in the mirror?

All this on one hand and the knowing of there being no-one on the other hand
leads to a great confusion, as you can imagine.

I feel that I really need some clarity and guidance in these matters.

Please help!
Noirioni, from Sweden

Ilona:
Hi Noirioni,

Thank you for email. It's a pleasure to meet you. My answers will be below your questions.

Now, when I try to ignore all that I have learnt, the following appears:
-There is awareness of experience.
This statement suggests that there is awareness and experience as two separate objects, but look, awareness = experience. Two different words, same stuff. Look, there is the view in front, it's not like there is something that witnesses it from the back, outside of it. The view = awareness of the view = awareness.
Language makes up separation where there is none.

-There seems to be someone (”I"?) or something experiencing sounds, sights, emotions...

The key word here is SEEMS. Yes, it seems, as thoughts say, there must be one. But there is nothing there. Look, what do you find, is there a hearer of sound ? what is the i that hears sounds? the I that breathes, sits, talks? is there one?

-There seems to be some connection between experiencing and the body (when I
close my eyes visuals disappear, when I close my ears sounds disappear…)

A question to ask here is this:
Is it body that experiences or body is the experienced? Is there a gap between you and bodily sensations?

Experience seems to happen through the body?

Or perhaps AS? As sensations that are labeled "body", "arm" , "hair" etc..

-What I call ”me” is the one that is experiencing everything.

Right. What is the i and what is the me and what is the difference?
Have a look, is there a gap, between experienced and experiencer? Where is the line, that separates me from out there?
Is there such sensation that you would point to and say- that's separateness.

We can look at the other questions later. Write what comes up when you work with what i gave you.
It's really very simple and you saw that already. It's just about noticing what is happening here now.
kind regards,

Noirioni:
Hi again Ilona and thank you so much for your answers.

It really shook me up (in a good way)!
Now it’s 2:44 in the morning and I’m feeling wide awake!
So my answers are below.

Language makes up separation where there is none.

Wow, you´re sooo right. Fooled by words again! No two objects, of course.
Something really happened on a feeling level when I read this answer.
A merging of two concepts into one experience.
Separation gone.
So simple.
Will it stay?

The key word here is SEEMS.
Yes, it seems, as thoughts say, there must be one.
Is there one?

No, when looked upon this way there is really no-one here, doing anything.
I realize that the hearer of sounds is just a made-up character.
Just sound happening.
Just breathing.
Sitting.
Everything happens by itself.
It can almost be a little scary and certainly very unfamiliar.
No-one here?

Is it body that experiences or body is the experienced?
Is there a gap between you and bodily sensations?

No there is no gap between me and body sensations.
It´s all one happening.
But this feels like such a great shift, compared to my previous believes,
that I can´t really seem to grasp it right away.
I can feel the smell of it though...

Experience seems to happen through the body?
or perhaps AS?
As sensations that are labeled "body", "arm" , "hair" etc..

This is extremely interesting.
Can we talk more about this?
I feel I need many practical examples and to take very small baby-steps
before this can be accepted completely.
”Show me, I’m from Missouri!”

No difference between me and I.
I realize that they are just a made-up concepts.
And there cannot be a gap between experienced and experiencer, can there?
They must be one.
There cannot be any experience without experiencer, right?

You have shone a light into the dark caves where the I was living.
And shown that there is no-one living there!
Now I feel a big hole, emptiness where I thought that the I resided.
Strange feeling, but good!
It´s a lot lighter without it!
Hope it doesn’t come back?
I feel very new, sensitive and vulnerable right now.
Much like a new born baby...

Lots of love from Noirioni.

Noirioni:
Hi again Ilona,

Can I check some insights with you, to see if I´m on the right path?
Would it be true to state:

We think that we are a separate person that can control life.
But there is no ”you”. ”You” do not exist.
There is only Life pretending to be a separate person.
Life is person-ing.
Life is happening as us.

We think that we see a separate world with our eyes.
But “you” can’t see. “You” do not exist. There is no seer.
There is seeing. Life sees itself.

We think that we hear a separate world with our ears.
But “you” can’t hear. There is no “you”. There is no hearer.
Hearing happens. Life is hear-ing itself.

We think that we think thoughts.
But “you” can’t think. “You” do not exist. There is no thinker.
”You” are just a thought. There is thinking. Life thinks.

We believe we are the body.
But ”you” are not the body. There is no ”you”. There is a body.
Life is ”body-ing”. Bodying happens.

We believe that we are breathing.
But ”you” are not breathing. ”You” do not exist. There is no breather.
Breathing happens. Life is breath-ing.

But still, Life seems to need ”my” eyes to see with and ”my” ears to hear with…?

The body exists. The eyes exist. The tree, that is seen with these eyes, exist.
But a separate seer does not exist. Only seeing.
Is that a correct conclusion?

All the best,
Noirioni

Ilona:
Hi Noirioni.

Thank you for emails. Some great looking and observations~!

You ask, Would it be true to state, I say no.
Nothing that you arrive at as truth is truth.
No concept is true.

That's the fun thing- whatever we describe as an arrival point is only holding on to an idea.
Life is not experiencing life. Life is not an object. It's a concept. Same like any other word. It's a thought, idea, not reality. And yes, we can describe what we see and believe in our story, but if you don't see story as a story, you may be trapped into believing that this is how things really are.

"The body exists. The eyes exist. The tree, that is seen with these eyes, exist.
But a separate seer does not exist. Only seeing. "

The question of existence is another territory, it's about how things exists. There is a whole emptiness path, awareness path etc that work with these questions.

Let me show you something. There is an exercise in this post. Do it here or on paper and see how language creates subject, where is none.
http://markedeternal.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/labels.html

And don't worry for now about what exists. Just see how describing affects what is being experienced. Write to me what you notice.
sending love.


Noironi:
Yes, I see what you mean.
That's a really good exercise.
It's clear that we habitually put in an I
where it's clearly not.
It's just an assumption, lying there like a big, fat, smiling cat!
Everything is much lighter and easier
without it.
It's just so unnecessary, it doesn't DO
anything!

I´m listening to my wife talking.
I’m looking at the trees outside.
I´m feeling full from lunch.
I´m feeling thirsty.
I´m typing on my laptop.
I´m thinking about what to watch tonight.
I´m sitting down.
My wife’s son is talking to me.
My dog is looking at me.
I´m feeling tired in my body.
I watch the clouds.
_______________________________________

Looking at clouds.
Listening to a conversation.
Breathing.
Dog wants to go out.
Playing guitar.
Typing on the laptop.
Feeling warm.
Remembering Zahn from LA.
Eating a chewing gum.

Thanks!

Ilona:
Wonderful! Yes, like a big fat smiling cat, haha

How does it feel to see this?
Is there any doubt?
Sending love

Noironi:
I'm afraid so.
It feels like living in two different worlds at the same time.
On a good day there is the knowledge (and sometimes even the feeling) of
there being no one there.
But other times it's not so clear and the character of "Noirioni" is alive and well and
searching continues. But at the same time there is very little,
if any, conflicts with "others" or "the world".
There is a lot of harmony and resting in
what is.

Can you relate to that?
Where am I?
And is there anything you can do to
push "me" further towards the edge?
Love, Noirioni


Ilona:
What is that the character is looking for? What does he expect to find?
How and what should be different?

With whole honesty, bring up all expectations. What do you want to happen, hope for? Let's see what shows up.
Sending love

Noironi:
Hi again and thanks for not letting me off the hook too easily!

I suppose that one part is that the searching for truth has gone on for so long that it has become a habit.

And old habits die hard.
The mind refuses to see that it can’t ”understand”.
So even if I know the truth of there being no separate person, it doesn’t seem to help to destroy the illusion at a deeper level.

The illusion of me being in a body is just too strong!

Another part is the deep experience/feeling I had the other year of there being
no one, no person. Just seeing, feeling, touching, thinking all by itself
without anyone doing it. That was great!

It was shattering and I guess there is some longing to get back to that state.

But the exercise you gave me to study ”I´m walking” compared
to ”walking” was really good and it comes up all the time in different situations.

So maybe s-l-o-w-l-y…
Thanks, Noirioni


Ilona:
And old habits die hard.
Not true. Old habits can drop easily, when they become conscious, when they no longer make sense.

The mind refuses to see that it can’t ”understand”.
So even if I know the truth of there being no separate person, it doesn't seem to help to destroy the illusion at a deeper level.

Right. It does not help to destroy illusion. But what if nothing needs to be destroyed?
What in your opinion needs to be destroyed?
Look this way: you are in a desert, you see an oasis. You know it's mirage. You run to it, and nothing is there, just more sand. You look further and see another oasis. Another mirage, you run again and see again, that nothing is there. Next time you see an oasis.. Do you need to destroy that mirage? Or you just know not to chase after an illusion?

The story continues, the character continues, nothing changes. Only that person is seen as fiction, not actuality.

The illusion of me being in a body is just too strong!

Ok, where is this me in the body now?
Find it.
What is there?
Which sensation is you?

Another part is the deep experience/feeling I had the other year of there being
no one, no person. Just seeing, feeling, touching, thinking all by itself
without anyone doing it. That was great! It was shattering and I guess there is some longing to get back to that state.

Yes, that's kinda common, trying to get to a state from before. But there is only here now. And the peace is underneath all thinking. It's a matter of simply stopping and noticing.
All states come and go. Nothing stays permanently. And freedom is not from unwanted states. Freedom is to experience all fully, no matter what state is present. No state is final.

But the exercise you gave me to study ”I´m walking” compared
to ”walking” was really good and it comes up all the time in different situations.
So maybe s-l-o-w-l-y…

You are in the process already... Notice, all is simply happening...

With whole honesty, bring up all expectations. What do you want to happen, hope for? Let's see what shows up. This is still an invitation to explore.

Sending love.

Noirioni:
I was writing:
I don't want to feel like a separate person.
I want to see through the illusion of separation.
I want to experience reality as it is.
I want peace of mind.
And there was suddenly an insight that:
all expectations are just thoughts from the ego point of view!
So I leaned back and relaxed.

Birdsong.


Ilona:
The story continues, the character continues, nothing changes. Only that person is seen as fiction, not actuality.
Mmm, I guess you´re right. There is no way to destroy that which does not exist.
There are moments of clarity when this can be seen.

Which sensation is you?

It seems more and more that ALL sensations and experiences is me...

Another part is the deep experience/feeling I had the other year of there being
no one, no person. Just seeing, feeling, touching, thinking all by itself
without anyone doing it. That was great!

Freedom is to experience all fully, no matter what state is present. No state is final.
Yeah, here and now there are really no problems (unless you think about it). I´m stopping and noticing more and more. Or it is happening more and more.
On a good day I can see (or it can be seen) that it´s all unfolding exactly the way
it should and that everything is happening by itself.

With whole honesty, bring up all expectations. What do you want to happen, hope for? Let's see what shows up.
It feels like what is still left is a desire for clarity in these matters…
I want to be as clear as you are!
Love and best wishes.


Ilona:
Hi Noirioni.

Can you look back and see if there is anything different in normal everyday life since we started this conversation. What hasn't changed?

The clarity.. The more lies are seen through, the more clarity there is. There are lots of beliefs to examine, it takes time for them all to come up, one by one.
Let's examine, what is not clear yet and work with that.
Sending love


Noirioni: 
Hi Ilona,

Thanks for getting back to me.

What is appearing more and more, since we started talking, is that thoughts come up insisting:
”There is no separate person”, ”You do not exist” and ”There is no Noirioni”.

There is really no fear in this, just an: Aha, yes that’s true.

Sometimes there’s a feeling that I’m not the body (which I have believed to be for so long)
but just what is experiencing. Being the world and everything!

What hasn´t changed is the experience of what is happening in the moment.
That is always the same.

And sometimes "I just go there”, or ”I’m just there” and everything’s fine. No problems. No desires. Just what’s happening.

But I feel quite unsure that I’m there all the time.

Sometimes I get lost in thoughts.

I think you’re right when you say that more clarity comes from seeing through all the lies we’ve been fed.
One by one.

Ilona:
Nice..

"But I feel quite unsure that I’m there all the time."

Where there? There is only here. Here now. This moment. No other place or time to be. How can you be not here, ever?

Sometimes I get lost in thoughts.
Well, should this not be happening? It's part of experience and that too is included. Getting lost in thoughts and feeling is natural. No need to fight it, just notice, that thoughts are not actuality. Story is not reality. It's a story about it. The feelings, the sense sensations in the moment are actuality.

Yes, more work to be done, more processing.. The thing is, all that is not serving starts to fall off. There is no end to falling, no landing on a ground.
Sending love.


Noirioni: 
Now wait a minute!

If you´re saying that everything is OK that happens in this moment, the even feeling like a separate person would be all right, would´t it?
Anything that happened would be OK?
That would make life a lot easier, don´t you think?
How could you miss that?

Warm today!
Love, Noirioni

Ilona:
:)

Warm today!
Lovely here as well.

Noirioni: 
I´ve been reading through your posts on ”Marked, Eternal”
and listening to the audiobook by Jed McKenna and now I feel a bit like this:

It seems like all old beliefs are crumbling.

And what is left?

There are no separate parts - no borders. Check.
There is no ”I” - the ”I” is only a thought. Check.
So there is no control - everything is happening by itself. Check.
Thoughts appear from nowhere - and passes by. Check.
We believe ”I think” instead of ”thinking happens”. Check.
Feelings appear from nowhere - and passes by. Check.
Some labels point to reality - some to unreality. Check.
”I am” always here, now. Check.
There is a body - but it´s not ”mine”. Check.

There is just the Mona Lisa´s smile…


Ilona:
Awesome!
the structure is on the melt down... great!

Is there anything else that wants to be examined? Is there any doubt?
much love.


Noirioni: 
Hi Ilona,

It feels very fresh and sensitive right now as the moldering away has started.

But at the same time very familiar and very light, like a burden has been lifted from the shoulders.
So I´m sure something will come up that needs clarification.
I hope I can contact you then?

But you sure started off the process, putting the dynamite in place
and firing away.

Actually your exercise in writing: ”I´m walking” and ”Walking”was really the final blow to make the whole ”I”-thought start to crumble!

Slowly, but surely, everything seem to fall into place.

Thank you so much for beginning to demolishing me
and all the best!

You are a wrecking ball!
Love, Noirioni

Ilona:
Delightful!

I like to see dynamite explosions :) It gives a sense of another wall going down.

Would you say with a big fat YES, it's clear, that I, the separate self, is an illusion.
If so, are you ready for what we call 'final questions'?
Much love

Noirioni:
Hi,
The foundations of a separate self has surely begun it´s final deconstruction.

It´s being seen through more and more every day.

And although it may take some time to tear down the whole structure there is no turning back once the ground floor is gone.
But it all happens exactly as it should.
Every thought, every move, every feeling is like a gift.
The Great Mystery Energy expressing itself as this.
There seems to be less and less knowing, not more and more.
All that this world is made up of is being seen as lies
(or as some would put it: ”God in confusion”

This night there was a feeling how everything is made of the same ”stuff".

How thoughts, feelings, time and everything is connected, interdependent
and how there are no borders between anything.

It´s all created at the same time.

And only this exists!
Strange, but beautiful!
So, if you want, we can try the questions and see what happens.
Love and gratitude...

Ilona:Strange and beautiful indeed...
Here are the questions. No rush. Write what feels true. If I see some sticky points, we can look at that.
.......
Much love.


Noirioni:
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

After studying and practicing Zen and Advita for about 20 years I had an experience last year that really shook the foundations of the illusory self, when I suddenly felt that the personal "self-feeling" was gone. It only lasted for a few seconds, maybe minutes, but during that time there was a clear sense of there being no ”me” and that there never had been.

Everything just went on as before. Thoughts coming up, feelings, sensations,
but suddenly the feeling of being a person was gone.
It was a great relief, because I knew right away what it was after all my reading about it.
I don´t know what happened next, but I suspect that the old feeling of being a person returned after some time...?
Now I feel and think less and less about whether there is a person, separate from everything else or not.

2a) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is:
The illusion seem to consist of thoughts and feelings that tell us that we are a separate entity,
cut off and living unconnected to the world and everything around us.

b) when it starts:
We are taught that this is who we are, and this body is yours, not mine by our parents and society when we grow up.
And I suppose it´s a good thing because if we didn´t believe in being a separate person we could easily become psychotic.

c) and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The seeing of the illusory nature of a separate self is deepening and working in more and more situations.
As soon as someone opens their mouth I can tell right away how the thought/feeling of being a separate self is controlling and affecting them and their behavior.
And then I think: ”No worries, mon. That´s OK, that is how the Whole is expressing itself right now.
It´s all good. It´s all perfect."
What I experience is a body moving around in the world and ”private" thoughts coming into existence.
And there is still use of the word ”I” to describe what happens in this body and mind.
I still say: ”I feel tired”, ”I´m hungry”, ”I see the dog”, ”I´m going into town tomorrow" and so on
(which of course is quite confusing)!
But there is less belief in the thoughts of a separate ”me” anymore.
Often there is a seeing through the ”me”-illusion.
Everything just seems to be experiences. Always changing.

3a) How does it feel to see this?
It feels a lot lighter, like a weight has been lifted. It´s easier to even breathe! Clarity.
There is still an interest in Advita matters but it seems more like a deepening of understanding
than a desperate longing for the "truth".

b) What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
Contacting you and following your advice made everything more practical and less theoretical.
I could see that what I had already realized in theory also held water in practical situations.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
All the things you said made sense and especially the exercise with writing down:
”I´m walking” compared to ”Walking” was an eyeopener to see that the separate me really didn´t do anything.
Everything just happened by itself.

5a) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control?
Here I feel more sure and can clearly see that thoughts, that come up from nowhere, have total control.
Everything just happens. There is no free will, as there is no one to have it. All choices are made by the whole.
And I have complete trust that the whole is benign and that it always makes the right choices.
Why should it make a wrong choice? The way I see it, Life makes no mistakes.
And everything that happens is there to help you see who/what you are.
Life is helping itself to wake up?

b) What makes things happen?
I have no idea. Just that the whole Universe is behind anything that happens.

c) How does it work? Give examples from experience.
Suddenly a thought arises: ”I´d like to have some tea”. Then I go and make the tea and drink it.
Seldom is there any hesitance in what to do. There is full trust in the process that governs all that happens.
And very few discussions with it.
I feel that there is a ”clear seeing”. For example when my wife gets into a "pain attack”,
I can more and more (on a good day) see what is happening and not react on an ego level,
but just let her be in that space until it passes. This is a really good exercise!

6) Anything to add?
No, I think that covers most of it from this point of view.
Just that I´m very grateful for your input and clear seeing.
Please let me know of things that are still fuzzy for me so we can do some more cleaning.
Nothing wrong with a little brain washing, eh?
Love, Noirioni


Ilona:
Thank you very much for answering so fully and clearly.
It's been a pleasure to walk with you.
This makes me see that shift happened. It's subtle. But as time goes, you will see, it changes everything.

3a) How does it feel to see this?
It feels a lot lighter, like a weight has been lifted. It´s easier to even breathe! Clarity.
There is still an interest in Advita matters but it seems more like a deepening of understanding
than a desperate longing for the "truth".

The illusion seem to consist of thoughts and feelings that tell us that we are a separate entity,
cut off and living unconnected to the world and everything around us.

Nicely said. Not sure why you use word we. Are there multiple separate entities? I'm just poking now, to see if there is anything in this area that may want to be explored.
Much love your way.


Noirioni:
Mmm, good question!

A slip of the tongue?
The slip of a thought?

I like your poking, I don´t want to get off the hook with some half-assed understanding.
I´m in it to the end of the line...

Seeing that there is no separate person has a lot of consequences that have to be considered?
The thing is that there seems to be two different worlds.

In one there are thoughts, words, labels.
It describes the dualistic world and cannot describe anything else.
This is where there are problems and wanting to understand everything.
A longing for the total clarity that you express.

This is the many still unanswered questions
and thoughts like these come up from nowhere:
- is there a world without anyone seeing it?
- why is there pain when ”my” or ”this" foot is hurt
and no pain when ”you" hurt ”your" foot?
- why does it seem that awareness follows "this body"?

The other world is without words. It´s just what is happening right now.
And here there are no problems.

The experience of this now:
- tapping the keyboard.
- seeing the trees outside the window.
- amused at thoughts that pass by.
- drinking tea with lemon.

Now that I write it down I realize that the first world, of thoughts,
is actually contained in the second world of experiences.

This is the real world.

And seeing this could/should bring about total clarity, but it
just brings about total presence (which isn´t too bad, of course).

But, I would´t be able to answer questions, like you do.
What´s up?
Love, Noirioni


Noirioni:
Hello, anybody home…? Guess not.


Ilona:
- is there a world without anyone seeing it?
Is anyone seeing it? The world is seen. That's obvious. It's here.
Seer?
Where is it?

- why is there pain when ”my” or ”this" foot is hurt
Why ? 

Just because.
Why question is story weaver. Any answer is as good as any. More accurate or not.
The answer is not in mind story. The question is irrelevant. Curious thing to explore, but empty.

and no pain when ”you" hurt ”your" foot?
- why does it seem that awareness follows "this body"?

Is this body arising in awareness or awareness arising in the body? Or does it matter?

Object and awareness is same thing. It's not two different somethings.
Look, sound is heard, is awareness something that is outside, separate, different? Does labelling create that what we call sound?

The other world is without words. It´s just what is happening right now.
And here there are no problems.
Sweeeeet!

But, I would´t be able to answer questions, like you do.
What´s up?

I did not answer your questions, but gave you some variations of questions. You can answer them now. :)

PS. Sorry for disappearing, I have been distracted away.. Happens.

Noirioni:
Hi!

Today there was a realisation that
since there is no separate self,
there really is nothing to do.

No use asking questions.
No use in believing thoughts.
They just pass.
Not even concentrating on THIS,
because who could do that?
There is just THIS.
Love, Noirioni

PS: been looking at the LU pointers
in FaceBook, they're really great!

Thanks!!! ️


Ilona:

Lovely.
But does action require a doer?
There is nothing to do regarding seeking for something other than what is.
Still action arises, things get done.
What drives action?
Sending love


Noironi:
Everything seems to happen by itself.
There is no entity there doing decisions or actions.
What more can be said?
The sun is rising…or rather, the earth is turning…

Ilona:
Good morning :)
Lovely answer. Thank you.
Welcome home..

What happens next is this, I usually put these conversations in my blog and other guides have a read to see if they might have any questions for you. If none, I invite you to join LU groups for continuous support and friendships.
This is a beginning of exploration, there will be lots of stuff coming up to be seen, sometimes it's good to have a place to talk about all this.

Would it be ok to put our conversation on my blog? I can use your first name, or initial or whatever name you prefer.
Much love your way!


Noirioni:
Thanks for good guiding!

You can use the name: Noirioni if you want to put our conversation on your blog.
Waiting for more questions from other guides.

Love to join the LU groups for further exploration.

Would be nice to connect to guides in Sweden and Portugal
(that´s where winter is to be spent) ️
Do you know any?

I went up and down and then disappeared in the ocean.

Ilona:
Thank you so much.

Fritz: Unbelievable That It Was Ever Unseen!

Fritz
Dear Ilona,

what a great work you are doing! This is really moving and fills my heart with awe and gratitude. Thank you so much!
I read quite a bit of the texts on LU and your and Elena's blogs and the Gatecrasher-book. I thought maybe I can push through just by reading the dialogs of others and it actually triggered a process in me.
I hope very much you find time to read this.

My "story":
My name is Fritz.
The facts are pretty similar to several other stories of "old practitioners". For more then 3 decades I have been doing meditation on a daily basis. Vajrayana buddhism. The first several years "hardcore", focussed on my Guru (Tibetan style practices 100% with several retreats - groups as well as solitary - plus living as hermit for some years). "I gave my life to it" as they say. I was also teaching meditation off and on and still run a little meditation group. I continued practice and some teaching also in the later years where I was involved in family and business, but practice was reduced to simple sitting with a Mahamudra orientation. In the last 10 years I was also looking around in the nondual scene (e.g. Adyashanti, Byron Katie and Tim Freke. Also Jed McKenna).
My experiences were typical: state-experiences that come and go. A big one and small ones, or no special experiences at all for long stretches of time of course.
Something was being cultivated but at the same time stuckness too in a way.

So your website and your approach came like a (nice) shock to me. Like too good to be true :-)
The image of the fist breaking through, on the "Friedrich"-blog-entry, really "spoke" me.
YES!
And the approach of bringing love to the world by propagating seeing through the illusion the way LU is doing - almost unbelievable!

I do get and feel every word you say and the understanding of there being no separate self is clear at moments and then - without a cut - suddenly thoughts and emotions especially that of fear come to the foreground. They might appear like a wind blowing through a room but they might also fill that room, so that it is stuffed and almost suffocating all of a sudden. It is understood that I keep looking and neither ward them off nor dive into a more peaceful state - but still...stuck again.
I did some "Deep Looking" according to your instructions by myself but guidance would be wonderful and seems necessary at this point.
The taste of freedom has been here for instances lately and I really want to break through now.

I read that you are not taking on new people, so if that is valid, please advise me how to go on from here. It could also be in German but I understand that they are a bit short of guides there. In general I have to confess that I would feel a bit more comfortable with e-mail than a forum.

Lots of love,

Fritz

Ilona
Hi Fritz,

Thank you very much for beautiful letter.

We can have a chat and deep looking session if you like, it would be my pleasure.
All I need form you is commitment to this process and full honesty. It's best to stop reading any books on the subject and watching videos. Just use your own head and answer from experience. It's good if you write at least once a day, so mind gets focused and we keep the momentum going.

I invite you to find the stuckness and examine it. What is it made of? What is that is holding you there? What should be different? What are you hoping that will change? What if all is going on as it should? Is stuckness something that stops the flow of life? Or is it part of flow?

Please answer these questions in full, one by one, as you see it.

Sending love

Fritz
Dear Ilona,

thank you so much for taking me on, that is just wonderful!
Tons of gratefulness "over here" :-)
I understand the rules and conditions.

You know, there is a weird thing happening: since I wrote to you (after reading LU texts and dialogues for 4 weeks or so) it seems that something similar to what you call “falling" has started.
Of course the question comes up if this is real.
By falling I mean, falling more into my body (which if looked back at from this position, was not online for many many years), I mean the physical presence of limbs, warmth, energy-flowing. And falling into what is in front and around me: perceptions, things happening, other people with their “thing” going on (I was facing a challenge in my intimate relationship for the last 3 days). And falling into presence and being open to it instead of focussing so much on anticipating the next thought or possible danger, so that “presence” became a stale concept.

Thank you for your great questions:

I invite you to find the stuckness and examine it.

Stuckness in the way I meant it in my previous mail is not here any more.
There are sudden but somewhat lighter attacks of fear but upon being seen and welcomed they gently go almost as fast as they came.
"I do not know if I can trust that” is my automatic thought-reaction, but who is here to do that trusting or being trusted anyhow? That also comes and goes.
These automatic thought-reactions seem to have the job of creating and sustaining someone "in control”.

What is it made of?

Exactly. What is it made of? No idea. Empty space.
Looking back (cause it is not existing right now) I would say it looks like a net of knots of thoughts triggering further knots of thoughts or something. Making up a directors room with a great switchboard with the job to protect the “self” (which it is making up in the same move)

What is that is holding you there?

Right now, nothing.

What should be different?

Again, nothing.

What are you hoping that will change?

Also nothing in terms of the bits and pieces it is made up of (perceptions like vision, sound etc. thoughts, hopes and fears, hangups etc.)
But stuckness as a massive wave of these bits and pieces coming at me, that is being believed in, like it used to feel it for years - I really hope that this will drop away or - from my present reality - not come back.

What if all is going on as it should?

There is no “should” I guess.

Is stuckness something that stops the flow of life? Or is it part of flow?

Okay, now I get it, it is also just another thought and therefore part of the flow. Wow.

But seeing that seems to transmute it in a way, doesn’t it? But that is just speculation.

Thanks again for connecting and going through this with me. Very very precious!
I still cannot really believe it in a way :-)

With love,

Fritz

...............................
Dear Ilona,

continuing from yesterday…

Okay, I said all these things about stuckness or the absence of it.
But I am still going back and forth in a way, between a habitual self and a no-self.
The latter meaning seeing this body-mind and all its perceptions and thoughts as an experience that just happens. Like life living or awareness being aware or reality realizing itself.

And then again: a thought appearing that has some sort of power (emotion, fear) and right away there is a "me" having this thought.
On being seen both of them might dissolve together and go away. Or stay for a while.
And then again.

Kind of funny that I said above "I am going back and forth" since nobody is going anywhere here.
It is perspectives that change and there is no owner of these perspectives. Clearly.
Still they change.
But - why shouldn't they?
The wind blows and then the wind does not blow and then it blows again.

It feels that some things got clearer over writing these few lines.
I wonder if this might stick or I just talk rubbish...

Thank you.

We have 3 hours time difference so in case you write late I might be sleeping already. In this case please forgive me for not answering the same day.

Love,

Ilona
Feb 2
Hi Fritz,

Thank you for emails.

The "me" does not disappear, it's just seen that concept "me" is not you. Yes, some thoughts trigger emotions. Then emotions trigger more thoughts. But is this happening on automatic, or are you doing this?

The wind blows and then the wind does not blow and then it blows again.

Exactly.

It feels that some things got clearer over writing these few lines.
I wonder if this might stick or I just talk rubbish...

Yes, keep writing all this stuff down, it definitely gets mind focussed and clarify what is not clear yet.

Fritz
Feb 2

Dear Ilona,

thank you for your answer and further questions. Great really :-)

I will put your text in italic-bold instead of writing into the older text:

The "me" does not disappear, it's just seen that concept "me" is not you.

Right. Thank you. I am with you, but somehow I have to build up the trust to keep that view in order to let myself completely fall into it.
It seems that this is happening, so your encouragement is more then helpful.
I have to watch out with language, I realize. Language is obviously constructed in a way that keeps us in the conventional view which presupposes a separate self. So when I say, "I have to build up trust to let myself fall” then this is the language of the concept of “me”. Since there is no actual me, the concept falls and with this more falling is invited.
The more I look the more I see that something has probably shifted.

Yes, some thoughts trigger emotions. Then emotions trigger more thoughts. But is this happening on automatic, or are you doing this?

No I am not doing this at all, that’s for sure. It is just happening. Funny enough there seems to be a sort of choice though, whether I keep looking (and embracing) or if “I" and "my world" are just eaten up by what this feedback-loop of emotions and thoughts is presenting.
So who has the choice, I ask myself.
Is it enough to say that choice just is? Why not, is my guess.

Yes, keep writing all this stuff down, it definitely gets mind focussed and clarify what is not clear yet.

Yes, thank you. Focussing and clarifying, that seems to be what all of this is about. Great.

This is interesting. Perhaps it's been see already?

Perhaps.
A sort of orienting is happening now instead of just getting in automatic defense-mode if something comes up: there is a stale smell on the one side and the smell of freedom on the other. I can distinguish that.

When you look back, was there aha moment of "crossing the line" or all was smooth and unnoticeable?

I guess I do this crossing in steps since getting deeper into the LU texts.
The most noticeable aha moment was at writing down what I see (or what is “true”) and if there was a crossing it was at the "deep looking” (as you recommend it) in which I faced fear in a friendly way and conversed with it. Yes, that was crucial. Cause seeing fear as a threat makes the "self" over here contract which triggers more fear-thoughts. Breaking through that loop was, and still is when it comes up, crucial.
The other important thing was to start to write to you at all and in doing so, putting down in writing the status quo. This goes with what you called focussing and clarifying in the above paragraph.

Ha, exactly.
Nothing there, just thoughts about thoughts about thoughts…

Exactly! Wow. Too simple, too good…
We can’t even say that awareness is there, since it obviously is not there or can not be detected or singled out in any way.
It sure is sort of the backdrop or light behind the whole going-on-of-it-all. So it might fuel experience but can not be experienced itself.

Fun isn't it?

Right :-)
And it is so good to see that and actually believe it. Instead of believing in being “a practitioner” who does what actually? Practice.
It is probably a trap of traditional spiritual paths, that the keeping at it year after year could get one into some kind of hamster-wheel which is an obstacle to seeing the simplicity and fun part of IT. Even though the teachings might say (often in some encrypted way) that this is what the whole "path" is about.

Shoulds and shouldn'ts are like thought viruses that make it appear that something is wrong.

"Thought viruses”, great.
Should and shouldn’ts, right an wrong, thoughts, thoughts.
I guess the attitude towards those is also a loving one of seeing, seeing, honoring and thanking and letting go, right?

Best wishes,

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Feb 3

Dear Ilona,

here is a little video of just two minutes of a - believe it or not - stand-up comedy, that has great depth and fits surprisingly well to what you said about how to “work" with fear:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An18wQ3asMw

I am coming back again and again over the day to this feeling of IT happening instead of a “me" doing it.
I still have to remind myself but it is becoming more and more familiar.
It is actually retraining how to perceive and go about life. Another vantage point in a way with no person at the stirring wheel.
Relaxing into this does seem to take a little practice…

Thank you for what you said on personal pronouns - so we do not need to stupidly propagate a new type of political correct speaking. Great.
They are just useful in conversation as you said somewhere.

I just realized that it obviously was your birthday yesterday. So with a little delay - Happy Birthday to you dear Ilona :-)

Love,

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Feb 4

Dear Ilona,

in yesterdays mail I described a feeling of IT happening and less of a me doing it.
Today it was more me trying to do it than IT happening.
Even though this is a terribly stupid sentence, since IT is all there is in any case, whether I do my thing on it or not.
But still - there was more of a struggle. Which produces a sense of a struggler and of course suggests that there actually is one.
At the same time: all of this happening automatically without a manager or boss.
Then its back to the fun-part.
Until it seems gone again. Meaning people, things, problems and all the rest of it filling the felt universe.
And then an opening appearing out of the blue again.
Maybe the lesson from this is that the habitual tendencies do not go away so easily. But also that this is no reason to panic since it is just a game.
I mean the struggling taking over and then dissolving again.

Be well, "see you" tomorrow,

Fritz

Ilona
Feb 5

Hi Fritz,

Thank you for birthday wishes :)

Have a look at a house plant or a tree outside. Is life happening to this form or as this form?
Is it different with this body? Is life happening to this organism? To this mind or as this mind? Is there a gap between life and you? Is there a you that is not part of life? Is there anything that is not part of flow, movement of totality?

Focus on the sense of being, feel the sensations in the heart area.

Are you doing being? Are you beating heart?
Is being something that can be switched of or on? Are you in charge of keeping this on or it's effortless?

Is anything at all that is not just happening by itself? If so, what are you managing exactly?

here are some questions for you to play with. Will be looking forward to answers
Much love.

Fritz
Feb 5

Thank you for your mail dear Ilona,

I will sit and also sleep with your questions and answer tomorrow, hoping that this is okay with you. I am not so well today and need some rest.

With love, Fritz

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Feb 6

Dear Ilona,

Have a look at a house plant or a tree outside. Is life happening to this form or as this form?
Is it different with this body? Is life happening to this organism? To this mind or as this mind?

All the answers are “as” of course. The same for my body, my perceptions, thoughts, feelings and so on.
No separation between life happening and those forms and experiences.

Is there a gap between life and you?

NO GAP.
This is the weirdest thing, that our habitual thinking not only believes in a gap between life and “me" from early on but also has this tendency to recreate it again and again.

Is there a you that is not part of life? Is there anything that is not part of flow, movement of totality?

No no no. There is just the movement of totality.

Focus on the sense of being, feel the sensations in the heart area.

Just being. The focussing, the sensing, the being, the heart beating - all are.

Are you doing being? Are you beating heart?

No doer. Just all being so. Heart beating, eyes looking and perceiving, breath flowing...

Is being something that can be switched of or on?

No switches attached and no switcher round here.

Are you in charge of keeping this on or it's effortless?

No one in charge. And for sure not me. Therefore the keeping it on is effortless.
So all effort I make is part of the effortless flow? Hilarious!

How beautiful your questions! Thank you.
My answers seem very short but a lot of thought and looking went into them.

With love,

Fritz

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Feb 7
Hi Ilona,

today was inspired by your question about the effortless flow and my making great effort within this effortless flow.
And how strange this is.
It is especially valid for my situation of having a combination of chronic fatigue and insomnia since many years and that probably because of trying to hard or making too much effort. Too much effort to sustain life. Too much effort in order just to be.
To be the perfect husband, lover, father, practitioner, entrepreneur, ecologist - what have you, plus somehow the effort of trying to sustain the beingness of the world as it is  or rather as I want it to be or at least to bend it a little bit that way.
I am aware of this in a way since many years but never really gave up the struggle.
Now with this clear approach of nobody being here to struggle something seems to start shifting.
I am very curious to see…

Love, Fritz

Ilona
Feb 8

Great work! Yes, being is on by default and there is nothing you need to do or can do to change that. The struggle to survive- unless you are hungry every day and have no food- is a myth.

When you look deeper, you see, that images about possible futures, what if scenarios, problem creating-solving takes huge amount of energy. It appears that something is incomplete, that something's needs managing, fixing, but every moment, when you look at what is happening now, all is well.

Find what is not on automatic, what requires a special effort of your part, what is not just happening by itself.

Then see if there is still need for the struggle.

Sending love.

Fritz
Feb 8

Dear Ilona,

Thank you for putting me on the spot so beautifully.
And no, I can not find anything that is not on automatic or requires special effort on my part.
Nothing. Not the subject (awareness) and not the objects (things, worlds, thoughts and all the rest of it)
This is not new to me but I faced it never so directly with “no way out” in a way - and, and this is where the fun-part comes in again, absolutely no need to find a way out. A way out of what? Out of outness? Or inness for that matter? Awesome :-)

I let this sink in right now… deeper and deeper…

With love,

Fritz

PS
starting from coming Tuesday I will be travelling for a week. Mainly to a fair where I will be pretty occupied.
I will still try to write, but I might also not be able for a day or two. I hope this is okay.

PPS
what I said in PS goes of course very well with what we are exchanging right now.
A sales fair - a typical future scenario in this case special edition: with a press conference ;-)
So a lot of images arising of stuff that is all happening by itself - beautiful.
And if stressful thoughts come up then this is what effortlessness is presenting me with...

Ilona
Feb 9

A way out of what? Out of outness? Or inness for that matter? Awesome :-)

Haha, awesome, isn't it!
(Nodding my head and smiling )

I let this sink in right now… deeper and deeper…

Mmmm, yeah..
How does it feel to see this?

Fritz
Feb 9

It feels liberating! :-)

The weird thing is that at the same time I feel stressed. The seeing of these upheavals is very calm though. Strange.
I am very vulnerable to personal and job related challenges.
Is this my world falling apart or just cause I slept worse then usual last night? No idea.
Of course I know that there is no “my world” that could fall apart.
Everything is already apart and in its most perfect place at the same time.
Something is going on in my system it seems…
Like I am approaching a very tight space and an opening at the same time.

Love, Fritz

........................
Feb 10

Hi Ilona,

today was more a bit like in a flow most of the time.
Not constant and not always conscious but like I could rely on it, that it is just there anyhow. Or even that it is all there is there.
It flows. It is. It moves. If I worry it is also part of it and dropping that could also be part of it.
Funny enough things (in work etc.) worked out quite well in that “mode".

I am glad you are there, having an eye on me :-)
and that helps me to "stay tuned" so to say.

With love,

Fritz

Ilona
Feb 10

Sounds great! Looks like something is definitely shifting.
Can you say with a big fat YES, that it's clear- a separate entity I is an illusion?
Was there ever an I in charge?

Yeah, I'm here, keeping an eye in you. :) write more!

Sending love

Fritz
Feb 11

I am travelling now.

No separate I or entity that's for sure.
And NO there was never such a separate I in charge.

Ilona
Feb 11

Wonderful!

So what's the same and what is different now to compare to before this conversation?
What was that pushed you over? Can you describe what happened?

Have fun on your travels!
Sending love.

Fritz
Feb 11

Below you see what I wrote a few minutes ago:

Sorry this thing (new iPhone) sends whenever it likes it seems without me being in control so to say.
That is a case of too much nobody-in-control though ;-)

Yes I also think there is a shift happening. And watching or being with it while travelling is interesting.

All new people, buildings, landscapes, media, movement, temperatures happening... changing.
All just so...
I do take a unique perspective on all of that but there is no separate I to be in control.
In a way it is all as much "I" as I am "I".

I do not really know what pushed me over as you call it.
It is like a journey from here to here. With the second "here" being like one coherent being, or being-ness. Home. Alive and unfathomable. Endlessly wide and very close and intimate at the same time.

What is the same and what's different to before our conversation?

There is what I just called intimacy, love is another term that comes to mind. Another might be relaxation. And they all differ to what was clearly separate, clearly not-me or "on the other side" before. The me-world is made up of tons of not-mes which surround it. And each one of this me to not-me relationships is of of course necessarily a problem.
OMG :-)
And this is going on all over the place. And quite unnecessarily so.

The writing all this down was definitely very useful. It is like poking wholes in a world-view where separation seems natural and a "given" until the separations fall away - how wonderful.

I look at people trying to see if they can see that. With each smile I see, I suspect an opening :-)

Therefore the work of LU is so wonderful.
I am all gratefulness and hope that I can pass this on too.

Lots of love,

Fritz

.............
Feb 14
Dear Ilona,

Sorry for not writing earlier, but I'm still at trade fair and that is very demanding.

But I enjoy it once seen never unseen :-)
It is very clear and even "useful" anyway mumbles masses of people there.


It is very clear and even "useful" in a way among these masses of people at the fair. But of course the where and what and other conditions do not play any real role in this at all.

I am very grateful to you and send you love,

Fritz

Ilona
Feb 15

Beautiful, Fritz, spot on- a journey from here to here, home was never left. Yes, writing is great tool at this point to clarify all that is needed. There will be lots of orphaned beliefs that were attached to this imagined I taken for real. There is much more to explore, but this is a definite start of living free.

I'm delighted for you!

Sorry for not writing earlier, but I'm still at the trade fair and that is very demanding.

It must be interesting to watch all unfold while in the crowds of people. It's a whole show just for you! Haha
I hope you are having great time in this ride.

Are you ready for 'final questions'? We ask these questions everyone, I love reading answers, all are describing same in different ways.

Fritz
Feb 16

Yes ready for the final questions.
Thank you soooo much,

Ilona
Feb

Awesome!!

Fritz

Hi Ilona, here they come,

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No "me" at all in any way or form and there never was. There is just what is and not what is not, like an "I".

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

"Me" seems to be like a perspective that turned into a "subject" that experiences itself as a separate entity by means or as a result of cultural convention.
It starts as soon as cultural conventionality kicks in and can be processed by the psyche. That must be around the age of two or three or so and then gets solidified year after year by most of what we hear and say/think, plus all social interaction/relationships.
The way it works is like an optical illusion. The unseparated is seen/experienced as separated, singled out things and entities. Those we seem to recognize as familiar or natural givens even though they are just thoughts the content of which is made up by the culture and the surrounding we happen to live in.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

Unbelievable that it was ever unseen!
Liberating, surprising, entering the flow, actually living being, great...
The surprising part being that I have read about it hundreds of times, I have intellectually "understood" it - at least enough to phrase something similar - a long time ago and even "taught" something along those lines to others, but - I had not really SEEN it or BEEN it.
Hilarious :-)
The past few days are like embarking on a new journey.
No captain anywhere and the boat being part of the sea itself. All waves happening exactly the way they do :)
Even if pain arises it is exactly where it belongs and there is no need to fight the basic suchness of the ongoing of it all.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Seeing that I am not my thoughts or emotions and that those don't need to be kept under control by a "me" by any name. And that where the seemingly solid entity of "me" used to be, there is an open and welcoming space which allows all thoughts and emotions to arise, be seen and go. If solidification appears on the horizon, dialoging with emotions can help for love to just be again.
I can not pinpoint exactly what pushed me over. It was a silent opening that took me a few days to realize and trust.
So the actual pushing over happened when there was enough trust to allow the seeing that IT actually IS and it is not just another interpretation of what "reality" is by a "me".

5)can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? Give examples from experience

Decisions and intentions are also happening like breathing and heart beating: as a part of the general flow. I - a breathing, blood and thoughts pumping body of a certain type belonging to the family of mammals, write this sentence which is made up of words and letters by fingertips touching an iPad screen - a wondrous feast of interconnected miracles without end :-)
And how it works?
No idea, probably it works because IT works.

6) Anything to add?

I would not discourage meditation since it seems to help to relax the believing in thoughts over time. But at the same time it is clear that meditation is not IT but potentially (and I guess in most cases) reifies and solidifies the meditator as a separate entity which is totally counter-productive of course.
So pointing out by someone who sees seems essential.

And finally: there is no staying from love in the whole universe and there never was, even though this does not look so to the reasoning mind :-)

Dearest Ilona,

endlessly grateful I send you lots of LOVE!
This was a wonderful ride,

Fritz :-)

Ilona

Wonderful! You have a great way to put all in words, when it's seen clearly, they flow, isn't it. Thank you for love, it's is felt here. I'm delighted to see that the journey of seeking ended in this perfect way. Yes, the first days it feels so odd, unreal, disorienting. It's a whole new adventure ahead. And it's only a beginning! Everything feels so fresh and new. More to drop, more beliefs will be seen through, it will only go deeper into one Direction- freedom.

Would you be ok with publishing our conversation on my blog, it may be helpful for someone. I can use whatever name you prefer. And after it's on, I can invite you to join LU groups, to meet other friends.

It was my pleasure to assist you..
Much love.

Fritz

Thanks again Ilona,

for your love and this feedback.
It would be wonderful if this would be helpful for others.
Yes, it's okay to publish this and to call me Fritz is also okay.
Nothing to hide plus I am used to it by now ;-)
Names also change their meaning or the flavour they have to them, don't you find?

Lots of love!


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1.Marble Clothes sculpture by Alex Seton
2.Nike of Samothrace.