Monday 28 February 2011

An Invitation

It has been five months since seeing through the veil of illusion. A lot has been dropped since then...

Peace with what is is always here now. No more fighting with life about anything. Acceptance comes natural, relaxation is present, no mater what seems to be happening.

On the outside the biggest change is freedom from boss. I quit the job, where I stayed stuck and wanted to get out. No more working for somebody else. Started my own tattoo studio and it feels great. :)

It feels that everything is constantly falling into right place. Not just for me, but my friends as well, I see a lot of movement to a different place, cutting bondages, stepping into freer way. There is feeling of gratefulness, appreciation, grace and joy.

I met a lot of really nice people on face book and I recognise those who are free. The clarity, purity speaks and it's like music to my ears. I enjoy greatly the connections with open space...

On the other side there are those who are still to unrealise the illusionary self that drives the body and the mind. They seem to try to control, defend, pretend and guard their beliefs. They seem to play games of blame. If your beliefs feel threatened- you are delusional. That's one way to check where you are.

The desire to fight has diminished, but if I see a lie I point. Watching thoughts that come and go. Enjoying the simple being.

Sometimes there is longing for some action and challenge, but all seems further away and I have to reach for it. The fierce warrior is at home and in peace.



Beneath the surface of relaxed quietude there is a fire burning bright and is ready to extend the loving flames to torch the lies. Bring your lies to me, I'll set them on fire and help to free the way to clear seeing. The wool, fluff, all bullcrap burns once touched by truth. If you are brave enough to let the fire in, just ask.

If you rather defend/ pretend/ guard you prescious self, then I invite you to step into the fear- that's the way home. Just think, what if all the futile efforts to fill the void with fluffy promises and hope are in a way of freedom? Just think, is anything worth holding onto? Including self, which as you know, is a phantom. Time to really see it.

So let whatever is in a way of freedom burn. Enjoy the flames that clear the way, dance around fire of burning beliefs, in joy.

There is a way out of frustration and that is through the purifying blaze while keeping the eye on target- freedom from self.

So what is it that is ready to burn next? Find the thing that you want to keep the most. Question it, see what happens. If help needed, just ask.

If you are free, please share, how does it feel to be free it may inspire somebody else to find that out for themselves.. Even if everything just happens....


Saturday 19 February 2011

To Burn Or To Relax?

I haven't been writing much my blog recently as I have been going trough another liberation.

This time it was happening through leaving the place where I worked for 10 years and starting business on my own with my husband. So next week I'll be doing tattoos in a new space, fresh and free from boss. It's a clean start and leaving "angelic hell" is very liberating.  

So yeah, I have been busy organising stuff, buying things for studio, still tattooing at the old place etc. And now I'm a proud owner of fire extinguisher, never had one before, haha.

Let's talk about fire. I see that fire is what burns the crap in the system and clears all that is in away.

Can one wake up without fire, that is without desire for truth, conscious enquiry, pure intent or whatever words you would use? Can one wake up just by relaxing or does it have to be the flamy way?  

I certainly did not wake up by relaxing, but rather fierceness, intensity and desire for truth as well as hate for bullshit. Just before waking up I saw everything as bullshit. Everywhere I looked I saw how this human thing runs in circles, feeding itself and there is no way out. Until I found the pointer to way out- there is no you, look!  

So I looked and there was no one to see anymore, but seeing was happening. Self melted leaving all that was attached to it. As you see, even in the "outside" liberation is happening.

Since then the seeking vanished, and I have nowhere else to go. I'm no-w-here/ now-here.  

Suffering? Who's to suffer? Who is there to own pain? Relaxation just happens, awareness is and there is no one to own anything.  Rather there is joy in being, appreciation and gratitude overflowing, sometimes can not sleep, too much excitement.  

Other times just feeling relaxed and meditation happens, without "I'm going to meditate now as it's good spiritual practice".

Life is unfolding and it feels that everything is constantly falling into place. Synchronicity, flow and zero fear. Trust in life. Like never before.  

Trust was one of the issues I had with life before. How could I trust if I have been hurt. The problem with trust was I.

Until there is ownership of life, there is suffering. When no one owns life, then life is just happening and that's that.  

Can you see?  

You can relax into what is and keep focus on relaxation but until there is a person there, who is holding the focus, there is no true relaxation. To go through the gateless gate one must leave the person behind.  The seeker does not cross, it is dropped by the door.  

So unless you aim at the door the relaxation has no effect. I'd say that the path of least resistance is a path of least pain, so aim at the door and let whatever happens be ok.    

Want to wake up? Wake up then.  

Turn inside, stop listening to whoever you are listening, stop following whatever you are following and find your answers yourself. By yourself. For yourself.  

There can not be a teaching for that. You can follow the pointers to find the door but to walk through it you must on your own.

Wake up neo...  


Sunday 6 February 2011

The Window


You are siting inside an old house and looking through a window to the ouside, dreaming about how nice it would be to feel oneness.

You notice how little you can see of the outside as the window is not clean, it's actualy very dusty, dirty, lots of fingerprints, maybe some chocolate. You take a damp cleaning cloth and start cleaning it. Bit by bit the view becomes clearer. So you clean it until it shines. Good job, so much effort and energy spent and now you can sit and enjoy the view thinking how much you deserve it. But you still feel trapped and separate. The view is still not crystal clear.

And then you notice a handle, open the window and climb out! (ground floor, btw) Immediately there is no more separation, no more here inside and there outside, it's the world right here right now. You look around in awe! How much clarity, how nice the sun feels on your skin, how clean is the air...

Imagine, you neighbour saw this and looked at his window, opened it and climbed out....

Now look at how many teachings are there about how to get used to sit inside and be happy, which pills to take if you do not feel happy, how to clean the window from left to right, how use left hand and chant at the same time and how ancients cleaned the windows. Of course, everybody is an expert window cleaner! Nobody thinks to climb out and just be.

If you saw your neighbour do it, would you look at the possibility that this is doable or would you keep trying to polish your window frame with a tooth brush?

People are being influenced by others very easily. Suggestion accepted without questioning becomes a belief and that is the dust on the window. The process of cleaning is different for everyone and there is no one best way to clean your window. But what I'm pointing to- look, the window opens up and you can climb out into the open space without needing to clean all the window first. (maybe the handle)

Once you climb out you can come back in anytime and finish cleaning the glass in your own perfect way with least effort. Without need to hear 101 ways on how to clean it.

Check for yourself- the window opens. It's when you stop listening to the radio on how to clean your window and start looking for the handle and thinking for yourself.

Don't just believe me- test it, it's about your freedom.


Thursday 3 February 2011

The Way Home

Remember when you were a kid and believed in magic? I remember. Then one day I had to grow up as I saw, that it's a fantasy. What happened? I was conditioned. And if I wanted to belief in Santa or green little fairy that fulfils the desires I was laughed at by other kids... I believed in little red devil number 13 who could help me to get what I wanted... Childhood dreams, so full of magic...

And then I grew up. World seemed not so magical, but full of pain, suffering, tears, struggle, surviving, lack and competition, brief moments of joy and more pain again.

And then I woke up. I see that conditioning is what is in a way of feeling the magic again. Only this time I don't call it magic, but flow of life, mystery of aliveness.

The more conditioning undone, the more what is can shine through. Releasing works as a beginning for annihilation of beliefs, destruction of lies, demolition of the wall.

What happened to Santa when I saw that it was not real? - nothing. It stayed in fantasy land and lost power in the real world. What happens to self when you see that it was not real? Same thing- nothing. It stops affecting your everyday life in a way that there is nothing to defend, nothing to safeguard, nothing to worry about.

So why people are holding on to this idea? Why so many talks, so many explanations, resistance, rationalisations if one thing that you need to do is just see though this lie. It does not even take a long time to see when you look. Only there is so much fluff that it's difficult to see through. Or so it seems.

It's simple, it can not be any more simple. Life goes on, present moment is here now, there is no separate self! Life is the energy that moves everything. Expands, contracts, no need for self to do anything and yet it's better to argue about it rather than look with curiosity. Is it true? No me? What a relief. How come I never seen this before? How come nobody see it around? It's not something that most of people are aware of. Being, feeling, pulsing life, no ownership, no attachments.

It was my birthday yesterday and I felt deep appreciation for the body, the space suit which is necessary for experiencing life as being human. I had a really nice massage and felt how much love there is in this wonderful creation- body. It's is not birthday I thought, but appreciation for body day. Since what i am is ageless, how can I say I'm old? The body's age is only what it says in the passport, why make it all big deal! How old are you? - ridiculous question! :)

With seeing through the misunderstanding of self all the conditioning melts away leaving only that which is pure. You can't practice your way into it, you can't expect that one or other spiritual practice is going to lead you home. It's just a moment of truth- no self, just life! - that will set you free. That is your way home. Why wrap it in fluff?

Whatever path you are following, whatever enlightened talk you prefer, nothing has more power than this simple realisation by yourself. Why wait? Why build defences and create stories? Why resist this moment of truth? There is nothing more freeing than truth. It does not matter, if it comes in a gentle form or brutal, the truth is a key to the gateless gate.

So here you are standing here now, alive and breathing. All happening by itself. Same like these words that come out, same as the reading, all by itself.

Can you see?

Where is the "you"?

Check what science has to say about this: