Saturday, 16 January 2016

Going Home

I had another wonderful Deep Looking session with Susanne. The conversation took an hour and a half, it only seems quick if you read it fast. Sometimes it takes a while for the answer to show up. If you like to get the most of this post, you can read it slowly and watch what answers come for you...

I: Hi Susanne, I'll be here in one hour.
S: Ok, Ilona, I am here now.

I: Great, me too.
When ready, take 3 deep breaths and relax into chair.
Then ask your mind, if it's at peace.

S: No, mind is very nervous because it wants to do everything perfect.

I: Thank the mind and ask it if it wants to relax

S: Crying already.....

And yes, mind wants very much to relax.

I: Lovely. Tell the mind you love it SO MUCH.
Ask it if it is ready to relax.

S: Yes it is ready but doesn't know, how?

I: That's ok,
Ask it if it's ready to relax now.

S: Yes but a lot of pressure is already falling apart and it is confused.

I: Of course... Let that be ok for a minute.
Close eyes and simply feel all that arises, fully, openly, allowing the sensations to be as they are.

S: it's getting better, calmer.

I: That's nice. Ask the mind, what it wants the most.

S: It wants to be free of fear, fear of life, it says now!!!????

I: Lovely, thank the mind.
Ask it what this fear is protecting.

S: It's still protecting the little, very shy girl.....

I: Right, can we talk to the little girl? Can you ask her to come closer?
Is she here?

S: No, she is sitting in the darkness I can only see her foot.

I: Say hi to the little one.

S: No she doesn't. She is sitting on a chair and is looking into the darkness. Her whole body is soo tense and she doesn't let go of the chair!?!

I: Mmm, tell the girl, that you are here for her and that you love her very much and want the best for her. How does she respond?

S: She looks into our direction but looks on the floor. The body became kind of into sunlight but she is not able to look to us because it is too bright.

I: Ask the little one, what is she afraid of.

S: To get hurt by other people's behaviour. She doesn't trust anybody and doesn't know what to do. Mind was her single friend.

I: Give that girl a hug and tell her how precious and beautiful she is.
Ask her if she trusts you.

S: Not really, half half.

I: Tell her that you are sorry, that you hurt her and made her not trust you.
Ask her what you need to do for her to gain her trust.

S: She says that I should be here, now. Not ever rushing to the next moment, taking stuff more serious than love. I shall listen to my heart and following, coming home.

I: Beautiful. Can you do that for her?

S: Yes.

I: Give the girl a hug and ask her if she wants to come out to the light.

S: She seems to get blurred again and wants to disappear. She gets scared leaving her habitual position.

I: Tell her that it's safe.
Ask if she wants to be friends with you and explore with you.

S: She doesn't believe me and is even more scared.

I: Ask her what is she scared of.

S: Scared to live, she wants to disappear.

I: Ask her what is scary about living.

S: She seems to be fully identified with fear, she looks fully dark and almost dissolved!?!

I: Ask the girl if she still needs to be here or her job is done.

S: She seems to be relaxed and at peace in the moment even she doesn't want to talk to me. Just before she said that she only would talk to the mind, her single friend.

I: Nice. Let's talk to the mind now. Ask it if it still feels pressure.

S: Mind is pretty well in the moment. Kind of speechless in a positive way.

I: Good stuff. Let's talk to the heart. Ask the heart if it's at peace.

S: No, it isn't, feels a little sad.

I: Ask the heart what it wants the most.

S: Heart wants to see the world.

I: Thank the heart and ask it what is in the way of seeing the world.

S: The delusion of the mind because it thinks to know better. It's quite scary what the mind does sometimes.....

I: Interesting. Ask the heart, does mind know better than the heart.

S: No, it doesn't but heart is wiser and let’s do it. Heart feels actually very strong but is pretty patient with mind. There is a knowing that mind will stop once.

I: Nice. Thank the heart.
Ask the mind, if it knows that heart is its home.

S: Mmmh, it knows but kind of ignored out of arrogance.

I: I see. Ask the mind if it's at home.

S: No, mind isn't at home and believes it will have to loose something if coming home. Wants to distract by rushing around, pretending to be busy with more important things like reading ABOUT something than coming home. It says that's early enough to come home at the end of life.

I: Ask the mind, what can be lost if it goes home.

S: It's importance. Mind is scared not to be needed anymore.

I: I see. Tell the mind, that it will always be needed and useful.
Being at home only means being relaxed and at ease.
Ask it if it prefers being important to being at ease.

S: Mind likes to be at ease but wants to keep control as well.

I: Ask it what it is in control of?

S: It is still convinced to be in control of the unfolding of daily life adventures even if experienced every day differently. It doesn't want to give up planning life. Can't be relaxed about the process.

I: Ask it to look, what it is in control of exactly.

S: In truth it wants to protect it's own weakness and plays out as important and strong.

I: Mmmmm... Ask it if it still wants to do that.

S: It says that it is fighting against life and made the experience very often to loose. Mind feels disconnected, lost and alone. Suddenly wants to come home because it is so terrible tired.

I: Wow, good! Asking if it's ready to go home.

S: Yes, because heart is so incredible strong and wise. Mind is happy to give up. Who would have expected that???

I: Ha!
Ok thank the mind for doing so much work and give it a kiss.
Ask it if it's ready to go home now.

S: Yes it is very happy to go home and trust the heart. Big relief here.

I: Awesome!

Close eyes, put a hand on right side of chest, opposite the heart, feel fully whatever shows up. Take your time
Just feel, without naming.

S: I feel almost at peace but the little one appears as black spot!?

I: Interesting.. Ask the little one, what she wants.

S: She wants to be cuddled and I get a little bit dizzy right know. As if she would slowly slowly agree to wake up from a very deep sleep!?!???

I: Beautiful! Give her a cuddle!
Smile and kiss. Hold arms around your body as if you hug her.

S: She says that she feels totally forgotten!!!

I: Omg!
Say sorry to her and tell that you'll never forget about her any more.
Ask her what she wants from you.

S: She wants to hold hand with me.

I: Hold hands with her.
Tell her that you love her soooo much and that she is beautiful, precious and gorgeous.

S: Crying again....I can't believe that she only wants to hold hands with me and seems to be totally fine. How cute is that?????

I: Totally cute!
Ask her if she is happy.

S: She is so happy only through this....

I: Beautiful!
Ask the heart now if it's at peace.

S: Heart gives me a big smile. How wonderful.....

I: Lovely! Ask the mind if it's at peace.

S: Oh yeah, it is very happy and at peace.

I: Beautiful :)
I'd suggest now to lay down, close eyes and feel the peace and love for a bit.

S: Oh, yes, I feel having down a marathon. Can we please stop for today?
Soo much gratitude.

I: Yes, we are finished.
You are most welcome!

S: Can't find enough words for this work with you, Ilona. So much love.

I: Love received! And much love to you!

S: Thanks xoxoxo, Susanne

I: Xoxoxo

We can speak later!

Rest now!


S: What a perfect timing it was. I could immediately go to bed after the session, had a deep rest and feel "the marathon" today in a very good way. Talk to you later after settling a bit more. With love, Susanne


I: Hi Susanne. Hope you are well! How are you feeling today?

S: Thanks for asking, Ilona. I am feeling more peaceful in the sense that I trust myself more. What I mean by "myself" is my authority, my heart, what feels true for me. Less confusion because I am now more and more able to stand up for myself.

By the way two days before my husband died out of the blue I said to him, which came out of the blue as well, that I now know why I moved to Australia (not to marry him 3 month earlier): "Life supports me that I can stand up for myself"........

Thank you for your brilliant support. I would like to do this with other people more than guiding. Do you have any suggestions for me? With love, Susanne


I: That's great to hear that you trust yourself more! Beautiful. What you can do is keep talking to the heart and mind and the little one, you can listen to what they have to say and give them love. This self-love is so nourishing and peaceful.

I'm sorry to hear that your husband passed away..

Much love

S: Thank you, Ilona. Yes, my husband's death 3,5 years ago was the starting point to put all my spiritual knowledge into practice what I still love to do.

Thank you for the tip to stay in contact with the mind, the heart and the little one. I actually did it today automatically. Sending love, Susanne

If you like to post our session feel free to do so.


I: Thank you very much! I may do that, post it on the blog in a couple of days. These sessions seem to help other people too, to go through some kind of opening. Which is lovely!

Hope you are well!

Much love.


S: Thank you Ilona, yes I am well. I had this kind of session with a friend of mine yesterday which was pretty good. What I really love about this dialogue is the intuitive kind of communication. Much love to you.
I: That is great to hear! Once you experienced this kind of dialogue, you know it and you can hold space for a friend. It's kindness that works the magic. Welcoming everything, giving hugs, kisses and smiles to what comes for a visit is like a balm on an old wound. It's like watering and nourishing that which was dried out. Giving love to parts that forgot how it feels. Just sitting with a feeling for a minute allowing it to be ok is a turning in. LOOKING inside. Noticing what is going on without trying to run away. It really is interesting... You know the phrase look inside, well, this is it. 

Deep Looking a very intuitive flow, sometimes the answers and questions that come up are surprising. Sometimes it gets really weird, but keep going, it's all part of it. It works best with a friend and it works for both. If release does not happen then it's more talking needed. Using this, one can go into very deep peace with what is. 

Enjoy :)