My simple answer is this: when a kid realises that Santa is not real, does the he live in the state of "no Santa" for the rest of his life? I feel nothing special about Santa being fiction, I don't think about it. (Other than using Santa example here sometimes) Life goes on. Experiences are happening. But question is this Santa state or no-Santa state does not arise, it's irrelevant. It's not a question.
So when one is looking for a permanent state of no self, one is imagining that there is such a state. One imagines that it's something that is not what one experiences. But states come and go, the present state, as it is here now is ever changing. Breathing is happening, sounds are heard, view is being seen, movements are felt, that's the present experience in whole of its glory. Calling this dual or non dual, self or no self or even experience is irrelevant. It's here now. With and without names. This does not care if it's named at all. And thoughts arise and pass as part of the whole movement of the whole moment. There is no separateness and no unity, all these ideas are overlaid on what is indivisible and always here.
The silent space of here now does not change. Sense of being is not being switched on or off at will. The content of experience is changing like a kaleidoscope, it has many angles to explore: some are pink and rosy, some dark and heavy. That's ok. Search or not for another experience, it changes by itself and all passes.
Realising that experience here now simply is as it is, with and without names and has nothing to do with self or no self, dual or non dual, frees the question.
Perhaps those that look for permanent non dual / no self state are really looking for something else, like bliss 24/7, being at peace, feeling of oneness, unity, flowing, staying always happy and high? That too is a fantasy, unless you are constantly on mind altering substances, or have a highly evolved abilities.
Preferred states are great and while they last they are delicious. Unwanted states are part of life too, it does not mean that these states are somehow dual.