Summer Jan 3
Hi Ilona
Ok…here we go J
Not sure where to start or what you want to know but here’s what’s happening here.
I saw Annie on Saturday which was lovely. We agreed I would have another ‘go’ – my LU name is Summer (we have not spoken again yet)
We started back in the summer and then it stopped when I had visitors etc
As you know this is not a new thing for me and there are many hours spent reading/listening etc to no avail re the discovery of the truth.
Since I saw her at the weekend I have spent time looking at the LU website articles, video clips and listening to podcasts and past meetings which have been very interesting and helpful. I have also been writing things down like crazy.
Today I listened to the pod casts. There is a real desire to see the truth now – whatever it takes
As I looked at the lamp on my table earlier I could see that my view of things has a veil of thoughts in between the body and the object.
It was quite a funny feeling. I could almost see a veil.
I do know that thoughts just arise and that my life happens without a controller – and that I cannot locate an ‘I’ or me but….. there is still something hanging in there.
I thought the fear had gone…but it’s there. I noticed earlier that I feel as if it’s like jumping out of a plane without a parachute into a huge void. When I noticed this thought and enquired whether it was true it seemed ludicrous …so that passed.
After I sent you the message I had a big panic attack (not something I normally have) …. I was terrified, started sweating, my hands were shaking, my heart was racing etc etc. I took some Rescue Remedy because I needed to calm down before my client arrived but realised I had missed an opportunity to stay with it and look behind the fear. So although I had calmed down I did ask the question and my mind and body took me back to when I was 2 ½ and my brother was born at home. I wasn’t allowed to see my Mum and my Grandmother said I had to be a big girl now and gave me a biscuit. (I promptly ate 2 biscuits and a chocolate bar)….can see how we eat when stressed now!! …plus I have been overly responsible for others since then I guess (1 fear re awakening was …what will they do without me…haha …also ridiculous!) So I guess the ‘separation’ thing was real for me. Nobody very close to me has died but I realised today that although I try to be casual about this…I cannot bear to think of the loss.
I work with my feelings and thoughts all the time (this is my job) and also ‘listen’ to my body for subconscious thoughts. The feeling today was very much a fear of moving forward with nowhere to go.
I have noticed a lot how my mind builds stories…so untrue most of the time! I often talk to my clients about the stories and that thoughts are just thoughts etc etc .
There is still identification with ‘my’ body and face although I did briefly just see a hand and arm today as opposed to immediately identifying it as ‘mine’ Even though I can’t locate an ‘I’ or little ‘me’ I think I still think it must be somewhere!! My rational is that I can’t see my kidneys but they must be there????
In the last few days I drew a funny picture of me desperately hanging onto a big rock called ‘self’ with my toes inches away from the ground which was called Truth…I guess that says it all at the moment!
So Mrs Terminator…please help!
Lots of love Summer xx
Ilona
Jan 4
Morning Summer :)
Lets start from expectations. Write to me what you expect from this conversation, what are you looking for, what do you think will happen and how. Just bring it all up and write it all out.
Also write, how in your experience you experience separation. What is separate from what?
Sending love.
Summer
Jan 4
Morning!
Thanks for reply
What do I expect from this conversation?
I expect that the truth will finally be seen and the ‘I’ and notion of a separate me will dissolve/disappear
(which is why my hands are shaking and slight nausea plus dryness in throat is felt as I write this…better than yesterday though)
What am I looking for?
I am looking to live life authentically and naturally fully…… it has been noticed how the body just does what it does without a controller but then doubt and restricted flow happens when the I’ pops back. Would like to live in free flow without thoughts veiling life’s richness/fullness
Basically get ‘me’ totally and finally out of the picture
What do I think will happen and how?
Not sure – could slip into it gently and happily (like sliding into a warm, safe pool of water) or could be like many previous ‘first’ experiences (like hastily jumping into icy unknown waters from the Titanic…left feeling very disappointed and frustrated)
How do I experience separation?
I see myself as a package of body and mind (with thoughts, feelings, emotions, traits etc) with a ‘character’ in various roles. Everything is outside ‘me’ and is seen as my relationship to/with it (even though it is sometimes seen there is no one there)
Thanks for your help J
Lots of love xx
Ps will be busy for rest of day now – back later this afternoon
Summer
Jan 4
Just realised I missed a question
What is separate from what?
The table and computer are separate ‘things’ (but touching) I am separate physically from these things too…although noticed my knees are touching the table. So there’s a funny sense it’s all physically connected through the sense of touch
I feel separate from other people – they have a body, their mind/thoughts and live their own lives – although there is an emotional connection with people either already known or to be met in the future and often there is another ‘connection’ …like compassion or empathy/love etc
xx
Ilona
Jan 5
I expect that the truth will finally be seen and the ‘I’ and notion of a separate me will dissolve/disappear
(which is why my hands are shaking and slight nausea plus dryness in throat is felt as I write this…better than yesterday though)
What would be lost if that was true? What is there to protect? Can you look in this area?
I am looking to live life authentically and naturally fully……
Thing is, you already are. Only a thought that says otherwise.
it has been noticed how the body just does what it does without a controller but then doubt and restricted flow happens when the I’ pops back.
It's not that I pops back, it is not real, it is only a thought about I. Thought, story about what is happening is a story. If you look now at what is happening, is there an I?
Would like to live in free flow without thoughts veiling life’s richness/fullness
Basically get ‘me’ totally and finally out of the picture
Ok, there is an image of "me" Summer. Is the image reality. Is the image a problem? Is Summer more then an image? And if you look at image of Summer, what exactly makes it up?
Describe what you see.
Not sure – could slip into it gently and happily (like sliding into a warm, safe pool of water) or could be like many previous ‘first’ experiences (like hastily jumping into icy unknown waters from the Titanic…left feeling very disappointed and frustrated)
Yes, I don't know either. We gonna watch this unfold. Best is not to have any expectations.
I see myself as a package of body and mind (with thoughts, feelings, emotions, traits etc) with a ‘character’ in various roles.
Yes, but is any of it you? Are you the body?
Are you the mind?
Are you thought, Feeling?
Are you the character?
Is there something to which all the above belong?
Everything is outside ‘me’ and is seen as my relationship to/with it (even though it is sometimes seen there is no one there)
Look though the angle: everything is happening AS this, as this character, body, movement etc.
How does it all look?
Much love.
Summer
Jan 7
Hi Ilona Thanks for the reply and questions. Here are the answers
What would be lost if that was true? What is there to protect? Can you look in this area?
I have just asked the question and it seems that nothing would be lost and the word peace has come up. I cannot find anything to protect…no answer
Thing is, you already are. Only a thought that says otherwise.
Ok – thanks for the reminder
It's not that I pops back, it is not real, it is only a thought about I. Thought, story about what is happening is a story. If you look now at what is happening, is there an I?
The story of Summer is created after an event when the made up ‘I’ wants to take credit for when things go well or blame itself or try to forget things that go wrong etc. It happens automatically. There is no little me or I controlling what is happening. No I there
Ok, there is an image of "me" Summer. Is the image reality. Is the image a problem? Is Summer more then an image? And if you look at image of Summer, what exactly makes it up?
Describe what you see.
The image is a bunch of thoughts which come and go. The thought came up that if the thoughts were different the image could be changed…like acting or taking on a new role in the story. We seem quite ‘stuck’ with a story that has layers of beliefs, conditioning, habits etc. But it’s layered on nothing! How funny. Just a believed story I guess.
Yes, but is any of it you? Are you the body? A bit
Are you the mind? A bit
Are you thought, Feeling? Not so much
Are you the character? It feels like I am
Is there something to which all the above belong? The story!
Everything is outside ‘me’ and is seen as my relationship to/with it (even though it is sometimes seen there is no one there)
Look though the angle: everything is happening AS this, as this character, body, movement etc.
How does it all look? This feels funny. When I first read this … especially the word AS – there is a relaxation and a slight feeling of expansion
Thanks for your help J
Lots of love xx
Ilona
Jan 7
Hi Summer,
Thanks for answers. Let's take the next little step.
Let this thought in-
There is no separate self, there never was, there is only one flow and all that happens is it. Separate self never existed, there never was a manager that controls life, it's all one organic spontaneous play.
You can play with this though and take a look, is it true? How would everything look if that was true, how would it be different from how it looks now?
What do you see?
Much love.
Summer
Jan 7
Hi Ilona Ok will get back to you in a while Tx
Ilona
Jan 10
how are you, Summer?
sending love
Summer
Jan 10
Hello there – thanks for checking in with me!
I’m good thanks. Have been pondering your last email and will answer your questions then add a few comments:
Re no separate self
Is it true?
Well truthfully – although I cannot see a me/I/self etc and have experiences of ‘no-one’ playing tennis etc the thought that there is this character Summer is still there and I just do not get the no separation thing! Nothing would be different from how it looks now but I feel there would be some kind of recognition of truth or something more in line with what other people who
have gone through the gate speak of. I may lose my ‘friend’ – see below
Have you read Greg Goode’s book where he talks about an opaque witness?
I was doing his tasting experiment and got a slight sense of awareness in a different way – it felt so so close. I seem to get very tiny glimpses of something different – maybe a different perspective – but it goes almost immediately.
I know I’m not supposed to read anything else but I had ordered it a while ago and it does seem to explain what is happening. I can see that in the past when I have ‘noticed’ something it’s like there is another ‘I’ …. So there’s one ‘I’ that is the character, body and mind then there’s another ‘I’ which notices what is happening. He says we personify the witness. It’s a bit like having
a wise friend! Typical that I have 2 ‘I’’s!!! I have started talking to myself more too … is there any hope for me?!
If I lost the ‘wise’ I it would be like losing my best friend….it’s very cosy….and I guess I’m not suffering greatly….but I want to know
the truth. ahhhhh!
Look forward to your comments – even if you tell me off!
Love and thanks
Ilona
Jan 13
Hi Summer,
Thank you for answer.
You say there are two of I. Can you look closer, how goes this split happen?
There is an exercise in this post, please take time with it and describe what you learned.
Labels
After this, look at the two I-s and see if the view is still the same.
Much love.
Summer
Jan 13
Hi Ilona
Thanks for your persistence!
Ok – so the exercise revealed that the split happens in the mind – just a separation between mind and body. A way for the mind to hang on to the belief in a separate ‘I’ or ‘me’
There are not 2 ‘I’ ‘s – that is just a story in the mind.
Doing the exercise : the experience without the ‘I’ labels feels truer because it simply describes the experience directly without layering the labels and story over the top – clearer seeing of objects in the room, less judgement and more relaxed body
Without the labels there is only this as it is. Life happening.
The body does things automatically without an ‘I’ or ‘me’ – although sometimes a thought appears and then the mind labels it ‘my’ thought and ‘my’ decision to do something.
The problem felt is that I feel I am asleep within the story if that makes sense. So when the body does things automatically it feels more robotic and a habit rather than Life living. There is a disconnection…a half aliveness
Thanks again – much love and gratitude to you
Ilona
Jan 13
"I am asleep" is a story..
Is there an I to be asleep? Is there an I that can wake up?
Is there anything but life happening?
Is there anything but now?
If you change label 'robotic' to label 'spontaneous action' does the view change?
Is there a problem or story about a problem?
Summer
Jan 13
Hello..
"I am asleep" is a story..
Yes …. But it feels very real….even though it’s a thought and it is seen that thoughts just rise and fall away.
Is there an I to be asleep? Is there an I that can wake up?
There is no I to be asleep or wake up – but the mind still thinks there is – or maybe something else
Is there anything but life happening?
No – can’t see anything else
Is there anything but now?
No – only now and thoughts about future or past
If you change label 'robotic' to label 'spontaneous action' does the view change?
Not until I took a few remedies which lifted the slight depressed feeling
Is there a problem or story about a problem?
The problem is there is something I am missing…although I know you’ll say who is there to miss something or have a problem!
Much love.
You too J
Ilona
Jan 14
"I am asleep" is a story..
Yes …. But it feels very real….even though it’s a thought and it is seen that thoughts just rise and fall away
Remember the melon experiment? If feels real till it is seen to be imagined.
The sense of aliveness, being is real. The story about it being asleep is imagined. Can you see that?
There is no I to be asleep or wake up – but the mind still thinks there is – or maybe something else
Ask the mind to check, to look and see for itself, so it knows.
If you change label 'robotic' to label 'spontaneous action' does the view change?
Not until I took a few remedies which lifted the slight depressed feeling
Was taking remedies robotic or spontaneous?
The problem is there is something I am missing…although I know you’ll say who is there to miss something or have a problem!
So which is it- a problem or story about a problem? Take a look.
Summer
Jan 14
Remember the melon experiment? If feels real till it is seen to be imagined.
The sense of aliveness, being is real. The story about it being asleep is imagined. Can you see that?
Yes it’s just a story the mind has created about the character – mind likes to distract attention into the future and past – away from the present moment. It’s amazing how we believe such wild stories!
Ask the mind to check, to look and see for itself, so it knows.
Mind says no – there is a body but no I . Checked several times – no
Was taking remedies robotic or spontaneous?
Spontaneous
The mind makes up a story that the character is robotic because it is another distraction/story?
So which is it- a problem or story about a problem? Take a look.
In the story it appeared to be a problem – but it’s not a problem – they don’t exist. Problems grow from stories being created around a thought, feeling, mood etc. So the thought could be ‘I am frustrated’….and then a story can easily pile in on top of that….many different variations of story. It’s a matter of perspective in the story. Someone’s problem could be another’s opportunity.
Relaxing and not overthinking helps….i guess J Overthinking causes more stories … relaxing is a story about relaxing
Such patience – thank you xx
Ilona
Jan 14
Sweet, the story of relaxing is letting mind to be at ease. Over thinking, talking to all these imagined people, creating imaginary situations and images drains the energy. It's ok to let mind to rest time to time. It deserves it.
So if it's clear that I is not real, and problems are stories about stories labeled 'problem' take a look, if what is going on in the head affects what is happening in reality.
Do thoughts affect what is happening right now?
In this moment, describe what is experienced.
Much love.
Summer
Jan 14
The body needs to do more – doing T’ai Chi Chih practise which does not need the mind and doing a freestyle trance dance workshop on Saturday – so looking forward to that. Would be good to play some tennis too when weather ok.
So if it's clear that I is not real, and problems are stories about stories labelled 'problem' take a look, if what is going on in the head affects what is happening in reality.
Do thoughts affect what is happening right now? No not really – what happens happens ,,, the thoughts layer over what is happening.
I think I said it before – so right now typing is happening then the thought ‘ I am typing’ may come – to claim doership or maybe ownership of the fingers typing??? A new story could be created
In this moment, describe what is experienced.
Looking at the screen …then down at fingers to check typing. No previous thoughts about what is going to be typed. Fingers just typing. Pain in head felt (have had headache on and off for a month – overthinking!). Sitting on chair – feet on ground.
The thought – what is real? Ringing noise in ears/head .. hot head, tiredness. Noises heard
Thought arises – well who am I then?
Much love.
Mucho love to you
Ilona
Jan 14
Who am I?
Is there a who?
Is there an I?
If you take both off what is left?
Does that need an identification?
Summer
Jan 14
Who am I?
Is there a who?
Is there an I?
Ok…no
If you take both off what is left? am
Does that need an identification? am is a verb meaning ‘to be’…..to be or not to be!
Ilona
Jan 14
Is there a choice?
Can being be switched on or off?
:)
Summer
Jan 14
Is there a choice? No ( You've not read Shakespeare then…. To be or not to be that is the question….etc etc ie whether to live or die!)
Can being be switched on or off? No
:)
Ilona
Jan 15
Of course I read Shakespeare! I want you to look at his question and answer. Is there a choice- to live or to die? Can you choose not to be? :) you say no. Great.
What do you see that you are in control of? Make a list.
What do you see that you own? Make another list.
Looking forward to hear from you.
Summer
Jan 15
Well – I am not in control of anything. Everything just seems to happen. Even if there are ‘plans’ to do something or lists of things to do – it all still just happens – often when ‘I’ don’t think it will.
Also things change all the time. I am certainly not in control of any people or the cat! I may think I am in control of my body for instance…so the thought I must clean my teeth arises so it could be
thought that I have chosen to clean my teeth – but I haven’t! Events can be postponed slightly – like going to the loo – but eventually it just happens. This is funny…the I has gone very quiet. Like it is just about to say ‘I could go to the toilet’ … but doesn't ….because maybe it is known that whatever happens just happens without the i.
It only feels like I own things if I ran out of money and wanted to sell something – then it would be mine! Things come and go…I do not own people or the cat
Looking forward to hear from you. You too
Much love. Thanks J No headache today
Summer
Jan 15
Just to say …very gentle day …and a lot less thinking going on here…peaceful….quickly noticing where a thought could be believed…and then it goes…resting J Lots of love
Summer
Jan 16
Hi No I , noticing story all the time, mind/thoughts quieter. Watched all Lisa’s YouTube stuff whilst ironing,,then Nathan Gill.
Not ‘known’ unshakably like Lisa/other people in book ….any comments?
Annie coming today.
Lots of love x
Ilona
Jan 17
Hi Summer!
Nice to hear from you :) and say hello to Annie.
How would you answer this question:
What is the I?
Is there a separate self? Was there ever?
Just answer what feels true 100%.
How do you feel about your answer?
Sending love.
Summer
Jan 18
Hi Ilona!
Nice to hear from you :) and say hello to Annie.
Nice to hear from you too…. We had a lovely time – I did a Reiki 2 attunement for her and she the heart opening thing with me!
How would you answer this question:
What is the I?
The I does not exist as a separate entity/thing. It is used in language for communicating. The concept of I evolves as the mind labels things and creates stories and layers over seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting etc…and thoughts and beliefs are believed by an imaginary I.
Is there a separate self?
No
Was there ever?
No – although it was previously believed by the mind
Just answer what feels true 100%.
Yes
How do you feel about your answer?
Ok It’s true and thoughts/mind pretty quiet and relaxed. Is that it? Thought something else might happen….
................
I read Lisa’s latest blog which I found useful and explains my last reply to you.
It says: If there is deep experiencing of oneness and the experiential and recognised, no matter how brief, lack of personal self, then that’s it.
…so oneness experiencing life as it is with many fewer thoughts (that kind of happened on Tuesday)
So it’s like there are 2 realizations – 1 no self, 2 oneness
It feels like it’s right on the edge of tipping or (sliding gently) re the realizations here – the glimpses of oneness have been so brief (like a second..or half!) and there is still a slight me/my story
going on if there is honesty.
So today there will be more asking, looking and seeing re oneness and I
(Please correct me if my understanding is wrong!)
Lots of love
Ilona
Jan 20
It's the same realisation, when it's seen that separation is just a thought about separation, all is seen as oneness. No separate individual parts, all is one movement of life happening.
Is there anything separate from the whole? Was there ever anything but oneness?
Much love.
Summer
Jan 20
It's the same realisation, when it's seen that separation is just a thought about separation, all is seen as oneness. No separate individual parts, all is one movement of life happening.
Oh yes! Of course
Is there anything separate from the whole? No (just thoughts about it) Was there ever anything but oneness? No (just the story of separateness)
Much love.
Ilona
Jan 20
So can you say, that the shift has happened and illusion if separation has been seen through?
How does it feel to answer as you answer?
Summer
Jan 20
So can you say, that the shift has happened and illusion if separation has been seen through? No
How does it feel to answer as you answer? Sad…so close
Ilona
Jan 20
It's ok, Summer, honesty here is most important.
So what is it in the way of seeing ? Can you pin point what exactly is obstructing the clarity?
Please write more, not a few words, but few paragraphs, so I can see where your thinking is going.
Big hug.
Summer
Jan 21
Yes – because I could easily re-quote all the stuff I have read – but that’s pointless
Ok- so what is in the way of seeing and is obscuring the clarity?
Waiting for something to happen? Thoughts about how it will be once it is seen. Confusion re what has been read and the experience here – maybe comparison.
That all seems silly because I know it already is as it is…nothing will change. There is a thought that something a bit more may happen – more of a shift – a connection or recognizing – something loving
After the initial huge desire to see the truth…things have gone a bit ‘quiet’. There is no desire to see the truth to escape from suffering etc…the story is quite bearable!
There is a slight thought of being ‘unworthy’ – probably a hangover from Christian teaching as a child. Maybe a thought of not liking change…although straight away the thought
that there is no change happening came up.
Possibly a fear of losing control? – although immediately the thought comes up that this is not real because there is no one to lose control …then a voice says ‘There might be’!
I think there is still a belief in the character/me……oh I don’t know!......A belief that I won’t know until the beginning of February because it says that in my astrological chart
maybe.
Does that give you any clues? It will all change later or tomorrow anyway. Although I do think the mind is slowing up and at the same time story- telling and labelling is noticed quickly.
Would like to get it done – not much looking at other sites/books etc. Just your posts…did read a bit of Leo Harding last night…but he’s on the same track as LU
Thank you so, so much for your patience and help
Love Tx
Ilona
Jan 21
Yes, enough clues.
You say that you are waiting for something to happen- nothing will happen! There is no Big Bang and no angel choir going to appear, lol. This is it, the seeking drops as belief in separation drops. Some have a big experience, but that is not necessary, a drop of belief is just that, you may not even notice when it happened. No desire to escape- here you go! You are always at home, no need to try to find it. It's always here now. :)
Sometimes mind resist that this is that simple and wants some confirmation, special mystical experience, but... Any time time you pay attention, the confirmation is always here, not hidden, obvious and available any moment.
How does it feel to hear this?
Much love.
Summer
Jan 21
It sounds fine! When my belief in re-incarnation, past lives, ghosts, angels and all kind of stuff dropped away it just stopped…disappeared…and has no meaning or influence in my story at all.
I respect other people’s views (it just makes me laugh that we believe so much rubbish…and people write books and run courses and all sorts of things – making lots of money in some cases…mainly feeding off our fears!)…but it can feel a bit strange when someone has such a strong belief. Still that’s an interesting story I guess.
So – I’m sure it’s all working out just fine … and no doubt I will go ‘Doh’ when the mind gives up the search and need for something special to happen J Thanks again – much love
Ilona
Jan 23
:) yeah, I used to believe in angels too.. Kind of.
Is the mind still in searching mode?
Much love.
Summer
Jan 23
Morning – lovely to hear from you
:) yeah, I used to believe in angels too.. Kind of. I wasn't heavily into them….it’s common for Reiki teachers – especially if they’re scared!
Is the mind still in searching mode? Now you ask… No Not at all. Peaceful!
Ilona
Jan 31
Hi Summer, how is it going? Is that searching habit still here or is it gone? Are there any questions left or all is clear?
Sending a hug.
Summer
Jan 31
Hi Ilona
Have been thinking about you. I think the searching habit is pretty much gone. No questions.
It was funny – I have been working with a client with remedies recently and she said that when things are in balance (the whole point of taking them) …there is ‘nothing’…she said it felt strange but very peaceful…I said no worries –that’s it! She knows nothing about the gate, advaita, non-duality etc
It’s been a busy week and a few stressy things but I have realised how the story builds…but it all works out ok.
So – nothing amazing but fine.
Looking at your posts – all helpful etc
Hugs to you xx
Summer
Feb 2
Hiya Just to say Happy Birthday …. and I guess it’s done. Just think I have been looking for something that isn't there (just in case- haha) J
Now I know your birth date it’s all clear - you just want everyone to be happy and not believe what they are told by others!!
Big hugs and lots of love and thanks
Hope to see you soon xxxx
Ilona
Feb 2
Thank you dear Summer!
It's great to hear that that looking for something is not here is dropped. :)) so much joy for you <3
Yeah, you summed it all spot on- I want all to be happy and not believe in anything that does not come from inner knowing :)
I see you love astrology. I find it fascinating. It is interesting to see how position of planets influence the character.
Much love to you!
Oh, if you are ready for the final questions, let me know, once answered I can invite you to unleashed group so you can meet lots more friends. :))
Big hugz..
Summer
Feb 2
Hiya Hope you've had a good birthday?
I do find astrology fascinating. When I first saw a really good astrologer when I was 28 it was like taking to a psychiatrist who already knew me!
I have checked your dates/time etc….so the Ilona character has a double dose of what I already said…plus the emotions come from another place…
We had my husbands’ family visiting today and we were talking about therapy – my brother-in-law is training to be a psychotherapist and his wife was seeing a counsellor (!!)..
Without the insight I have discovered I have no idea how therapists help people…they are just fishing in the dark with no bait!
Ok – so send me the final questions please
Big big hugz to you too xx
Ilona
Feb 4
I know what you mean! I had a reading by astrologer and was profoundly surprised how accurate some character traits were described. It's an art, me thinks.
We had my husbands’ family visiting today and we were talking about therapy – my brother-in-law is training to be a psychotherapist and his wife was seeing a counsellor (!!)..
Without the insight I have discovered I have no idea how therapists help people…they are just fishing in the dark with no bait!
Yeah, pretty much. Trying to fix what is not broken.
Summer
Feb 4
Hi Ilona
Here are the final question answers …..
1) There is no separate ‘me’ ‘I’ ‘self’ anywhere at all. It cannot be located and was never there. It was previously assumed that there was a little me – just not questioned before.
2) There is no separate experiencer – the body is experienced
3) The illusion of the separate self begins when we are small children with the use of language, which we learn. We are given a name and we are told many things which we believe without question. As thoughts arise we start to apply labels and concepts, which get more involved as we grow up. The idea of a subject and object evolves which creates the illusion of a separate ‘me’. The story of ‘me’ continues as thoughts arise and the brain processes data and information based on what we believe to be true.
4) When the illusion is seen it can feel many things – here it feels relaxing, vast spaciousness and yet intimacy, funny, obvious, freeing. There is no ‘me’ running the show and the more that is known the easier life is – just flowing
5) The illusion of a separate ‘me’ is not easy to see because we deeply believe what we are told and there is great fear and resistance to see what is really going on. It is actually very simple and obvious but the mind wants to make it bigger and more ‘special’ …. Mainly to stop the truth from being seen – it creates another story. It also cannot be experienced by the mind….it just is.
If someone is curious about it they already have a sense of it. There are many books, satsangs etc out there but they often distract from really seeing, so I would just say ‘look’ and only your direct experience will reveal the truth.
6) The last bit that pushed me over, or made me look was reading Randall Friends book and seeing a quote from Bob Anderson (never read his books) He was talking about intelligent knowing……
‘That is the activity of knowing – intelligence energy. Knowing is an activity – of something that is going on in the immediacy of the moment. Any activity is a movement of energy. Not the content of knowing, I know this or I know that, that is all acquired, all conceptualised, all word stuff. The basic activity of knowing. You are not knowing a moment ago. You are not knowing a moment in the future either. It is going on in the immediacy of the moment, so it’s an activity – something is happening now. It is this energy of life force or whatever label you want to put on it. It is functioning in the immediacy of the moment. That is what you are.’ So it is seen that the true nature is no-thing…and everything arises in that….so there is no separation
Anything to add…..well just that there is great gratitude for finally finding you Ilona …. For your sincere desire for suffering to end by using such a simple thing….and sticking to it. The feeling is very much ‘well is that it’ alongside ‘wow’ I think that this has been ‘known’ for a long time and having discovered what I was not … it was just nice to be reminded what I am – to now allow all to be revealed however that may be. Many thanks and love x
Ilona
Feb 22
beautiful answers, :) thank you!
big smile.
could i put this on the blog? i can use any name you like. other guides may have a question or two, or if not, i can invite you to Fb groups.
have a gorgeous day,
much love.
Summer
Feb 22
Hiya
You are welcome to put this on the blog…use my LU name –Summer – if you like
Thanks for support – just perfect J
Hope to see you on 16th March and/or 13th April in Worthing
Have a great day toooooooooooo xxxxx
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