There are moments on this path when everything seems to converge at once. The body tightens, the breath becomes shallow, the emotions rise in waves, and the mind tries desperately to make sense of it all. For many seekers this becomes the breaking point - something is finally ready to be felt.
When Tammy joined me, she was living right inside that intensity. She said, “Some physical stuff has come up really strongly and it’s brought up a lot of emotional stuff… just so much confusion.”
She had been trying to understand every instruction she heard on the spiritual path. “People say ‘allow it’ — but what does that mean? Sit on the couch? I don’t get it.”
Her honesty was the doorway.
As she began to speak more openly, a deeper layer appeared.
“I just want to cry and cry and cry. My heart is breaking open for the whole world.”
The rawness of that moment was the intelligence of life expressing itself.
I invited her to stop running, just for a breath. To feel what was here rather than trying to fix it. She said, “It feels like a huge mess of everything — despair, hopelessness, fear, love, tiredness.”
And yet, when she allowed herself to feel even a fraction of it, something shifted.
The mind panicked: “If I relax, everything will collapse. I won’t take care of my life.”
This is a common fear. But when she actually softened into one breath, nothing collapsed. Life remained exactly where it was. Sounds, colours, sensations - all present, untouched.
What hurts is not the energy itself. What hurts is the resistance to the energy. That's suffering.
When Tammy agreed to feel the resistance — the “I don’t like this, I don’t want this, it’s too much” — the tightness eased. Not because she controlled it, but because she listened. This is what most people miss. Resistance is not the enemy. It is a voice asking to be acknowledged. Something inside is expressing the truth.
She realised something essential:
“The thoughts keep coming up about how it’s not okay… but the energy just feeling itself — that’s painful and unpleasant.”
And look at this: pain is not the problem, unpleasantness is not the problem. The problem is believing that it shouldn’t be here.
When she finally let the energy be as it is, without fixing, without solving, without labelling it as failure, the storm softened. The energy was finaly met.
This is the heart of Deep Looking - recognising that you are the space in which it moves and sitting beside it as it begins to unfold.
Everything in you is already allowed. Everything is already included. That is why it can finally transform.
If you want to explore this more deeply, I created a short guide called Introduction to Deep Looking. It’s a gentle way to meet what’s here and begin unwinding the tension underneath seeking. You can receive it by signing up on my website. Here is the link: https://ilonaciunaite.com/deep-looking-ebook/ If you read it and something moves in you, you are always welcome to write to me and share what opened.
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