An Open Letter To The Mind

By itself. 

    Dearest Mind,

    Firstly thank you very much for your presence. You are amazing, intelligent, caring and lovable. Thank you for all your hard work and never ceasing attention to things that matter most. I love you dearly. 

    I appreciate how you make me feel, literally, I can feel feelings that can be quite strong and intense, only by noticing thoughts and images. I can see how you tirelessly go out into the future scenarios making sure that all the problems have ready made solutions. I can see how inventive and creative you are with the images. You can pick any topic and create something out of nothing. I bow in respect to your ability to throw me out of balance and give me sensations that something is wrong, can be wrong, was wrong and will be wrong and so on. I applaud your tireless aiming to control what is about to happen, protecting me from making old mistakes. You are a genius in manipulating how I feel. 

    Thank you for all your work that you have done to protect the heart from being hurt, from being open and vulnerable. Even if the heart was hurt by your limitations, it was still better than feeling those scary feelings, right? Numbing of the heart is a big work and you, dear Mind, have done it so well. You deserve a crown and a throne. Or at least a diamond tiara. 

    Here's the thing. As much as I enjoy your created world and drama, all I really want is peace. I have been watching your mind movies all this time and I see that nothing new is there-- same old patterns, same characters, same problems, same hopelessness. It's no longer needed for me. I am writing to ask you, dearest Mind, to stop creating illusions. 

    Please stop luring me into imaginary conversations with imaginary friends about imaginary scenarios. Please stop giving me solutions to imaginary problems and stories of the past that made me feel hateful, shameful, grieving, small and not enough. Please stop showing me possible futures where I'm stuck in fear. Please just be here and now, and watch, observe, notice, what is actually happening-- right in the moment. You don't even need to comment. You don't need to try to fix anything or protect me from imaginary dangers. 

     I'd like to ask you to drop your unnecessary tasks, impractical patterns, addictions to thinking and image making, daydreaming about a happy tomorrow and the like. And just really relax; be. Be caring, loving, creative, illumined, playful in the now. Be receptive and questioning. Be open to receive wisdom. Stop knowing everything about everything. It's not your job. I'd like to invite you to be silent and aware. This is your job. 

     All I want is peace.

     So, enough of building your sand castles of illusions. Rest deeply. Be at peace. 

     All I want is peace-- so the heart can come alive again and open up without being restricted by what you think.

     It's okay to feel. 

     All I want is peace.

     You can be still and quiet and still hear, see, smell, taste, sense and feel. 

     All I want is peace. 

     Do you hear me, dearest Mind? Can we let the monkey mind go back to the natural habitat with all the drums and whistles? It was fun to have a mind-monkey active, but it's no longer wanted. It can go. I'm sure it won't be missed. 

     All I want is peace. 

     And as you see, peace is here, now, underneath all the noise of words and images. 

     Be still.

     Be quiet. 

     There is nothing in the way of peace once you, beloved Mind, stop producing illusions. It's okay to rest, it is safe. Nothing is going to happen if you stop imagining yourself in charge of the universe. Can you see this, dear Mind, that you can be empty and relaxed, yet everything is still happening? 

     All I want is peace. 

     Can we end the internal war with what is? Can we refocus on what really matters?

     I bow to you and I love you. Let us celebrate life.

     Let's try this, okay? 

With love. 

I now retire.

Fear of Losing Control

One of deepest patterns that run in this human software is the pattern of imagined control. And losing control is one of deepest fears that ego has. By ego I mean the assumed I-entity that supposedly owns a piece of life and is in charge of running it, like a general manager of this body-mind thing.

Fear of loosing control stems from assuming that there is a controller. The mind thinks that it is its job to be in charge of what happens. It thinks that by doing this job of micromanaging what happens in the future it is useful and without its work the system would collapse. The idea of loosing control is as scary as the idea of death. But what is that mind is in control of?

In experience, perception is happening with and without belief in a separate entity. Beliefs do not matter, vision, sound, sensations are happening on their own and are not subject to being switched on or off. The imagined control over what is happening is given by default as everybody are trained to believe that. It starts when we are children and test our boundaries. We are trained to behave and trained to train ourselves to behave. We are following norms and established patterns without questioning if that is really helpful. Conformity is accepted, rebelliousness is something that irritates.

We are trained to look at others and express opinions about them. And opinions are valued like something individual and precious. Then we view the world around us through this righteous lens, of right and wrong. And we try to change and help others where they don't fall into our fixated way of how things should be.

This is the pattern that runs deep and is evident in any argument that takes place.

"Loosing control is scary, because what will happen to me if I no longer feel in charge of how my life goes."

But what does that really mean? It means stiffness, tightness, narrow-mindedness, hardness and suffering. Because life does not need us to tell what it is best for us. Life provides us with lessons, it is The Teacher, that comes in the form of whatever people we meet and situations we get into. The egoistic mind focused on being in charge is thinking that it knows best, it is right and all those that are wrong should accept the opinion and the righteousness and conform as they should.

Now this pattern is really not helpful. It is the very tension that we are trying to get rid of. We hold a belief that someone else needs to fix their behaviour for us to be at peace. So if you think that you are awake but keep pointing fingers at others and blaming them for how they make you feel- that's a kindergarten level of relating. Being adult means owning your reactions and seeing them first. Then looking at what is behind those reactions and understanding where they come from.

To be at peace requires surrender. Peace is already here underneath all opinion-stories, underneath the desire to be in charge and in control. It is noticing that we are the flow. Bruce Lee told us- be like water. That says, stop fighting what is, release the idea of a controller, soften, be flexible and nothing will touch you. Let life live as you without resistance.

We can observe patterns. We can ask questions like - is this helpful pattern, is it useful, does it serve or is it creating tension? Is it ok to let this pattern go? What can be lost?

When we focus attention on what is wrong with others or situations, we miss the gift that life is presenting to us. It only takes a shift of attention from others to our own reactions. Reactions that are happening, including body sensations, emotions and thoughts are what we are here to notice. Then we take attention from what we think is wrong and give it to our own sensations that are triggered by outside. This is the shift from outside to inside and this is where real work is- noticing our own patterns. And when patterns are seen they get to change. With and without belief in a controller.

I use this example often of being on a rollercoaster ride, sitting in the first car and holding on to a wheel. No matter where you turn the wheel, the ride is already set and the car will follow rails. It is safe to take hands off the wheel and enjoy the ride without imagining that you are the driver.
The driver is imagined, there is nothing to loose. The fear of losing something that was never ours is irrational. But there is something to gain when we step out of the role of the general manager and surrender to life. There is a joy of exploration and freedom, there are mystery, magic and synchronicity, there are openness and trusting life.

And only love remains where used to be fear.

Be like water...

Thinking

I talk to a lot of people about thinking and feel like sharing some ideas with you. Of course all this is subjective.

When we communicate, we share experiences using language and words. Thoughts are units of data, and when you look at thinking process it's expressed in words, as if someone sitting in your head talking. It is generally assumed that this voice comes from a me, it is me that is thinking these thoughts and acting upon them. This me is the centre thought around which my story revolves. That is what the voice says.

People hear that if you can only stop thinking, all would be experienced more deeply and vividly and they would be more aware. I get questions asking how to stop the labelling, the never ending stream of thoughts. People try many things- meditation, will power and generally hating the voice in the head, because it talks so much.

But there is nothing wrong with thinking. 

Thoughts are not a problem. Thinking that thoughts are the problem is the problem. See? This gets locked up in a loop.

Thinking is innocent and great tool in practical sense as well as artistic expression and entertainment. It is part of experience, part of the whole, no need to try to get rid of it. And you couldn't get rid of, try just sit for half an hour without thinking and see how that goes.

Believing in truthfulness of thoughts and taking them seriously is in the way of peace most of the time. Belief is thoughts agreeing with repetitive thoughts, it's a self reinforcing feed back loop that stays in the system until properly examined. What happens when examined properly? See for yourself..

Thoughts are labels, they form descriptions and interpretations of experience and thoughts believed create tensions and resistances, as well as clinging and attachments.

I thought claims doership of thinking and action. But I is just a thought, like any other thought, it is not I that is thinking. Thinking is not what is done by you, it happens. Like rain is not rained, it rains.

Thought does not create experience, it describes it. It wraps experience and colours it. It is a misunderstanding that it is I that thinks and I/ me that makes things happen.

If instead watching clouds passing by you decided that this cloud should not be here and try to direct it's movement it would be pointless waste of energy. I have experienced once or twice moving clouds around in the sky and bringing in sunshine, that is a nice story that I like to tell myself. But is it true?

So rather than fighting thoughts, rather then hating this labelling process that goes on on automatic, thank it.

Seriously, thank the thoughts for coming, literally say, mind, I love you, you have been such great mind, working so much for me. I really appreciate you. You are gorgeous, beautiful, innocent mind!

Instead of going against what is happening, turn the angle 180 degrees and see what happens. I'm not going to tell you, have a look how this works for yourself. One thing for sure- the mind will respond. And you can talk to it as you would to a child. You don't have to believe me here, test if it works for you.

When you notice thoughts that say what should and should not happen, these thoughts are weeds in your thought garden, stop right there, make a mental note, see if the opposite of should is true too. These thoughts create more thoughts about what is wrong, notice them.

When shoulds are cleared, look up for wants. These are noticed mostly in certain areas- security, control and acceptance. The wants are weeds too, but somehow they are more difficult to let go, so with these spend a day or a few, take your time, catch that word WANT every time it is said or thought. Just make a mental note of when it shows up and in what situation. No need to follow those thought, just recognise it happening. And also thank the wants for coming. It is ok to want what you want. You don't have to do anything about it.

I called shoulds and wants weeds as these kind of thoughts have a great expansion potential, if attention is given to them, they grow into more thoughts very quickly and they are connected to 'me' thought. These are the thoughts that are basis for clinging and attachments. These thoughts trigger feelings. Shoulds are connected to expectations and expectations are in the way of plain looking. Wants are connected to feelings of lack and distorts the view.

It's not that these thoughts should not be coming up, they will be coming up until they drop or are inspected. These thoughts can be welcomed as they can show limitations and restrictions that are still in the system. Releasing shoulds and wants opens the mind to seeing what is and being at ease.

So to sum up, instead of trying to get rid of thoughts, welcome them. Instead of holding on to shoulds, let them go, notice wants and honour the mind. 


Clarity comes when description of experienced is not taken for all experience. Thinking is not all experience, there is also perception through senses and feeling. If you give thinking all focus, then the rest of experience is missed. And you live in your head, lost in thoughts, analysing and endlessly trying something MENTAL. It is hard.

Imagine you get a gift, wrapped up in a nice gift paper and all you pay attention to is that wrapper. The gift is ignored, the wrapper is taking whole focus and you are so attached to that piece of paper with the bow, that don't even notice the gift. Then you get another gift and another, and still the wrapper is all you see.

Clear mind is that which does not confuse description with a real experience, words for things, map for territory. The fog, the veil that seems to be in the way of seeing is descriptions, labels taken as the main experience. The silent experiencing through feeling and senses is left in the background, unnoticed, ignored. So life lived is not experienced fully and richly as one is living a story about present moment rather then living the present moment so full and rich in perceptions. And trying to stay in the present moment takes a huge amount of energy. Noticing though is effortless.

The simplest test: just take something from your immediate environment and smell it, whatever is right here right now, inhale the scent. Hold it, feel it, experience it. Smell that thing for 2 minutes, take your time with experiencing, don't pay attention to labels, experience the sensed.

Then for the next 2 minutes, describe it fully with words. And that is the difference between experience and description. But wait, describing experience is also experience.

Experiencing thinking is real. Same like experiencing smelling and other senses. Confusion sets in when attention goes to content of thoughts and away from direct experiencing.

So if you pay attention here and look deeply, thinking is happening, it is about experiences and that in itself is experience. The wrapper is also part of the gift.

Vision, hearing, tasting, touching and smelling are 5 separate channels through which data is coming in, thinking is what makes sense of the data, interprets it and describes what is going on, putting all into a STORY. Useful and practical. Some thoughts triggers feelings which is another channel of perception. The channel of the heart. When mind and heart work in balance there is joy and peace, there is openness and expansion. When heart is closed or hurt, the mind is "in charge", working hard to protect that which needs to be protected with help of loyal friend fear. There is a lot to do for the mind, a lot to keep track of and it gets very busy. Exhausting itself till it shuts down.

Mind thinks that it has to understand and control everything. Because it thinks that it is it's job. It thinks. But is it true? Is mind really in charge of life?

When mind is relaxed, it's great, it's like a joyful puppy, curious, innocent, playful and fun, or silent and peaceful. Only mind is afraid to loose it's job- micromanaging the universe. As if it's really doing that.

It's such a mysterious expression... One may say- twisted..

The misunderstanding that mind is primary and most important channel of perception is here till it's seen, that nothing controls what is. It happens. Life is going on by itself, just because, including thinking. Including thinking about how this me is in charge. There is no thinker and no doer, so there is no one in control.

Be kind to the mind. Let it know you appreciate it. And let it slowly retire from the assumed position of manager of universe. Then it will come back to innocent mind which is creative, curious and joyful. And you won't need to try to shut it up.

Love the mind and be kind to it. Just for one day appreciate it, and say yes to the voice in the head. Kindness is soothing and leads to opening. See if that makes a difference for you. 

If you try this and it helps, share this with a friend..