Friday, 8 July 2016

Liberation Unleashed Book

I am looking forward to the 1st of October, as that is when my book Liberation Unleashed is coming out. 

Writing this book was a whole journey, that started before I even knew it. It took a few years to gather the material, to shape and to polish it. I am really excited, that only in a few months it will be in the shops, on the shelves ready to be picked up by readers. I am exited not because I think it is great to be a published writer, but because this book has a real potential to make a huge change people's lives.

I put everything that I could say to a seeker, that worked, that pushed, that pointed to seeing that undivided wholeness of what we are. This book is packed with questions, practical and simple exercises, that can be used and tried out by anyone. It contains a few Direct Pointing guiding conversations that I had, where confusion was cleared and clarity was found. It also has a few articles from my blog and Seven Steps to seeing through the illusion of a separate self. All my work, crystallized, synthesized and put in order. My hope is that this work will reach out further, to more people and it will be the last book that is needed to read, in order to awaken from a dream of separateness.

These pointers and method truly work, as it is seen repeatedly on  Liberation Unleashed forum. Every day we have new member coming in and guides offering to help. There are six thousand members now, which is not a joke! It is incredible to see many guides, working there with seekers that come from all kinds of paths looking for peace, truth, clarity; taking them by hand out of the head into the experience, pointing where to look again and again, till all doubts are cleared.

I am so incredibly grateful for everyone involved in whichever way they can to support LU movement. It is amazing for me to hear about LU meetings happening here and there, people coming together in person, sharing, exploring and investigating together. It is great to hear about more and more people finding LU through friends, family, teachers, books of other authors, YouTube videos and the App. And soon this book, I hope, will make it so much easier for those that are ready to look, actually recognize the simple truth, that I, the separate self, is not what it appears to be. And that opens up a whole new view, a whole new way of life, with more space, trust and openness to what is happening... to what IS.

I noticed on Amazon, that there is a good deal of 21% off the price if you pre-order. I think it's worth it, if you consider buying it. It's a bit longer to wait for it to be released outside America, but it's coming! It will be out on December 29th.

Please share this post with anyone that might be interested, help to spread the news. And while waiting, if there is burning desire for truth, please register on the forum and start that journey through the gateless gate.

with love,

Sunday, 3 July 2016

Behind the Curtain

You know how some days you have the same conversation with several people? Today there is a definite theme in the messages I'm receiving- and it's all about unwanted feelings. There is a theme of resisting what is. There is wanting to get rid of resistance. Ending resistance is much simpler than it seems. All it takes is looking behind that sensation, what is there?

Here is one of the the chats.

Hi Ilona,

Hi :)

First of all my English language is not so well, but I can communicate. I was seeking for last 7 years, it was very painful and confusing, but I persist and now whole no self thing is seen more and more clear. After spending years reading tons of books, youtube clips, last push happened when i was reading posts on your blog and LU forum. Today morning I decided that I must contact you, because is grown desire in me to share this message in my country in my language. I live in Croatia and this kind of looking on reality is not known. I can’t find anybody in RL or web who share something like that. As most humans also Croatian people suffer so much and I feel if this message is spread here some steps in reducing of suffering can be made. In my case maybe a few things left to clear up, maybe I have a few expectations ingrained so deep which constantly obscure smooth living. I know that is also just what is but that is how it is now in my case.  So please if you can help me on that, because I feel that I am not honest enough to share this message with my surroundings if I have some doubts left. I think now is the right moment in me to finish first step and start spreading this message. I am 39 years old male, my name is Marin, and at the and, maybe it is not important, but my favorite teacher on nonduality scene is Rick Linchitz, he was keeping my focus on these things for few years. Regards from Istria, Croatia !

Hi Marin! Lovely to connect! Glad to hear that no self thingy is clear now and you wish to share that with others. I had that pull to share too and look what happened!
How can I assist you?

Thanks you response to me. It will be very helpful if I can pass through few my doubts with you. Hope so after that I will be ready to share this looking with others with honestly. I see clearly that self can’t be found outside imagination, but subtle seeking is still going on, so please what can be done in my case? I don’t know where to look any more or is just more time needed for cleaning up old habits?

Let's have a look together. What kind of doubt is there?
And what should be different?

Here is persistent expectation that something must be different, after seeing this, but on the other side how it can be different, if no self  was the case before and after seeing this. I understand that, but expectations are still here. Expectations are "Things will be better".  I know that is fantasy, unrealistic mind stuff, but can’t clear this up...
One more thing, I was reading about some radical and beautiful awakenings, and maybe that also have some impact to my expectations. I know on intellectual level that that is fantasy, but, but...

Well, this is about not wanting to feel unwanted feelings.
Everyone's process is unique to them and yours is perfect for you.
You know, it's ok to feel what you feel.

Yes absolutely it is that. Some resisting still going on, but what to do, it will go on until it doesn’t, it is also reality expressing itself. I think in my case that is last thing for more inspecting...

Allow resistance to be here and go or it. Feel it. Where is it in the body?
It's a protection mechanism. It's trying to protect something. Can you look and tell what needs to be protected?

It is most felt in my body, as fear. During my whole life i had lots of health problems and many times life threatening danger was felt. Yes there is nothing separate to be protected, but I feel that is own body protection mechanism ..

The fear is protecting something. Look behind it. What is there?
Don't think, just take a peek.

I saw these kind of question many times on LU posts, but these kind of conversation one to one is more direct and I see something is start moving in me, I will take some time for looking because i want to be absolutely honest with me and with you. Hope so, we stay in touch, after I respond to your question. Thanks !

It's not about intellectual analysis. Just simply look, what is behind fear.
Write what comes up.

After a while…

Good news from here. After we finished our chat I started to look, after just few seconds everything become clear. I’ve just seen what is and what isn’t - self nowhere to find. Body, thoughts, emotions, room table, carpet-- everything present, but self no. I can’t believe that this is so simple, it is like you ask me where is elephant in my room, or do I have third leg, no need for thinking, it’s obvious that those things are not present here. I don’t know what to say -after 7 years of searching, why so hard to see something so simple. Some fears still going on, also doubts but instantly reality is checked, and they lose their grip. Finally answer to your question is that behind fear is nothing, not only fear I can’t find anything behind anything else. Thoughts spinning like before, but that now looks OK. Little fear is going on that I will lose this clarity, so if you have something to add I will be grateful. Thanks for everything!

Aaaaa! Yes! Excellent. That's it- simple and obvious.
Can nothing loose anything?

Yes, you are right, who is here to lose anything ?!  I must ask one more time why, why, why is so hard to see something so obvious, why so many books and teachings and complications. I am now so, don’t know what to say, 7 years to see something so simple ???

It never occurs to look behind the curtain.

Thanks one more time for everything, I am sure now that I can share this message with honesty. If one day something doubtful pops up I feel free to contact you again. Thanks, all of you help people with something beautiful.

You are so very welcome! Croatia is ready! :)


Tuesday, 19 April 2016

It's Okay to Feel

I went to Lithuania recently to visit my parents. It was great to see them again after a year and a half. I spent a week with them in my home town and shared some nice experiences.
I could see that both of them have changed since last time I saw them. My mum looked older, her face had new wrinkles, but somehow she seemed more relaxed; less suffering. Her blue eyes were shining in delight that I came to visit. My dad was keeping it up, doing his breathing exercises every day, keeping himself fit.

I noticed how differently they communicated. My dad was mostly listening and when he talked he would always throw in a silly joke. The kind of joke that is not really funny, but he enjoyed the silliness. I could frequently hear him singing some tune by himself, he appeared happy.

My mum was suffering a lot all her life. She was born in Siberia, as her mum was deported just after the war when the soviet government decided that sending people to Gulags (forced labor camps) was a great idea. She was only six years old when she and her brother came to Lithuania, alone. Her mother had to stay in exile for another few years. The little girl had a hard start in life which set her on a difficult path.

The last time I visited, she was in pain; physical and emotional. She lived in memories of the past and old hurts were still haunting her. Frequently she would remind my dad of stuff he did to her like 40 years ago. This time she shared differently. She wasn't so much into the ancient history but she was like a torrent of information about people she thought I knew and people I had never met. A few times I asked her why she was telling me this, what's the use of this information? I had no need to know who lived in the house we just passed and the what their living situation was. I could see how my mum was trying to share what she learned from others. She said people come and tell her stories, so she was just repeating those stories. Even though they were useless and boring to me, I guess she just wanted to talk and did not care much about what she was saying. After she told me yet another story about someone that was doing something, I asked her- 'mum, why are you talking about other people so much?' There was a pause. She was looking for an answer. - "Perhaps they did something hurtful to me', - she said.- 'I can see that', I said- 'but talking about them is not going to reduce that pain.'

I could then see how putting attention on someone else and their problems she found a way to distance herself from her own pain. It's like pointing at something that is wrong out there so that one would not need to look inside and feel.

In one of our conversations I had with my mum and dad, we talked about suffering. From what I've seen, suffering is feeling bad about something and wanting that feeling to go away. The problem that the human has is that they only want to feel pleasure and avoid pain, which is considered normal. But, being open to and wanting only happy, light, joyful feelings and resisting the 'negative' feelings is exactly what suffering is. "I should always be happy no matter what" - that's the idea that is responsible for the unhappiness. No state is permanent. The mood changes like the weather. Sunshine is not always there! Sometimes it's a big angry cloud with lightning and thunder, covering whole sky, with no gaps. But all clouds move, big and small, dark and fluffy, there is no glue in the sky that would stick a cloud in a permanent place. So are the feelings that arise. There is no glue. There is no hook. All feelings pass. Resisting that feeling that is already there is not going to move it. There is a way for the heavy feeling to move, but trying to get rid of it is not what we need to do in such a situation. Instead we just need to stop trying. Only by feeling that feeling fully, openly, with acceptance and okay-ness, that energy formation can change and dissolve. Any notion of resistance or feeling it in order to get rid of it, is not going to help. Well, if the feeling is here already, it wants to be felt. So what is the problem with that? It's okay to feel; nothing will happen. It's a sensation, not a permanent state.

Imagine a game of cards. There are red cards and black cards. The game can not be played only with red cards. A whole deck needs to be in the game, not just cards you prefer. So what that a black card is in the hand when you need and want the red one, the game goes on. The game is not asking you what cards you like. It gives you cards, without your consent. And that's the thrill, not knowing what comes next. Maybe it will be the lucky set of cards after a string of loosing; or maybe not. The game involves all cards, human life involves all spectrum's of feeling and emotion. And it's okay.

I had a feeling that my mum understood what I was trying to say; that sharing about someone else's pain is not going to take attention away or reduce her own. If the heart is hurting, it needs attention. It wants to heal. The wound can not be ignored. If it's time for it to be cleared and healed, it may involve those painful emotions, those sad memories and intense unwanted feelings. And, it's okay. There is no point in trying to fix the situation by resisting it.

Some feelings may not pass as quickly as the others and that's okay too. Once the idea of happy ever after drops away, so does the need to get into a better state. There can't always be summer, there is a time for winter too. Although I don't like winter, I much prefer summer, I can not make the winter go away before its time. There is no point in trying to change the natural cycle. This can only bring suffering.

There is a difference in my experience- before seeing that separate self is a concept, not an entity, I was seeking for the happiness that would stick. Now, there is okay-ness, an option -not to resist whatever feeling state is here. There is a knowing that 'this too shall pass', and all that needs to happen- happens in the right timing.

That sort of trust in life, that all is well no matter how it appears. There is no more trying to escape feelings. No more need to distance myself from feeling hurt. The idea of escaping reality no longer makes sense. I can relax into being and live life as it presents itself, with ups and downs, bliss and hurt, without chasing an idea of a happy tomorrow.

Saturday, 2 April 2016

Awakening Dialogues: Ilona and Will Are Talking About Awakening as Evolutionary Function

I was invited by Will Pye to do a dialog about awakening. It's not an interview, he says, but a friendly chat: we can talk about a chosen topic and just see what happens.

Will is a teacher and an author of a book called "Blessed with a Brain Tumor", you can visit his website here  It was lovely to meet him and his girlfriend Elizabeth, who filmed the conversation. 

Here is the little chat between me and Will, recorded in February 2016. We talked about evolution and how awakening is an inside job. 
Hope you enjoy it!

Saturday, 16 January 2016

Going Home

I had another wonderful Deep Looking session with Susanne. The conversation took an hour and a half, it only seems quick if you read it fast. Sometimes it takes a while for the answer to show up. If you like to get the most of this post, you can read it slowly and watch what answers come for you...

I: Hi Susanne, I'll be here in one hour.
S: Ok, Ilona, I am here now.

I: Great, me too.
When ready, take 3 deep breaths and relax into chair.
Then ask your mind, if it's at peace.

S: No, mind is very nervous because it wants to do everything perfect.

I: Thank the mind and ask it if it wants to relax

S: Crying already.....

And yes, mind wants very much to relax.

I: Lovely. Tell the mind you love it SO MUCH.
Ask it if it is ready to relax.

S: Yes it is ready but doesn't know, how?

I: That's ok,
Ask it if it's ready to relax now.

S: Yes but a lot of pressure is already falling apart and it is confused.

I: Of course... Let that be ok for a minute.
Close eyes and simply feel all that arises, fully, openly, allowing the sensations to be as they are.

S: it's getting better, calmer.

I: That's nice. Ask the mind, what it wants the most.

S: It wants to be free of fear, fear of life, it says now!!!????

I: Lovely, thank the mind.
Ask it what this fear is protecting.

S: It's still protecting the little, very shy girl.....

I: Right, can we talk to the little girl? Can you ask her to come closer?
Is she here?

S: No, she is sitting in the darkness I can only see her foot.

I: Say hi to the little one.

S: No she doesn't. She is sitting on a chair and is looking into the darkness. Her whole body is soo tense and she doesn't let go of the chair!?!

I: Mmm, tell the girl, that you are here for her and that you love her very much and want the best for her. How does she respond?

S: She looks into our direction but looks on the floor. The body became kind of into sunlight but she is not able to look to us because it is too bright.

I: Ask the little one, what is she afraid of.

S: To get hurt by other people's behaviour. She doesn't trust anybody and doesn't know what to do. Mind was her single friend.

I: Give that girl a hug and tell her how precious and beautiful she is.
Ask her if she trusts you.

S: Not really, half half.

I: Tell her that you are sorry, that you hurt her and made her not trust you.
Ask her what you need to do for her to gain her trust.

S: She says that I should be here, now. Not ever rushing to the next moment, taking stuff more serious than love. I shall listen to my heart and following, coming home.

I: Beautiful. Can you do that for her?

S: Yes.

I: Give the girl a hug and ask her if she wants to come out to the light.

S: She seems to get blurred again and wants to disappear. She gets scared leaving her habitual position.

I: Tell her that it's safe.
Ask if she wants to be friends with you and explore with you.

S: She doesn't believe me and is even more scared.

I: Ask her what is she scared of.

S: Scared to live, she wants to disappear.

I: Ask her what is scary about living.

S: She seems to be fully identified with fear, she looks fully dark and almost dissolved!?!

I: Ask the girl if she still needs to be here or her job is done.

S: She seems to be relaxed and at peace in the moment even she doesn't want to talk to me. Just before she said that she only would talk to the mind, her single friend.

I: Nice. Let's talk to the mind now. Ask it if it still feels pressure.

S: Mind is pretty well in the moment. Kind of speechless in a positive way.

I: Good stuff. Let's talk to the heart. Ask the heart if it's at peace.

S: No, it isn't, feels a little sad.

I: Ask the heart what it wants the most.

S: Heart wants to see the world.

I: Thank the heart and ask it what is in the way of seeing the world.

S: The delusion of the mind because it thinks to know better. It's quite scary what the mind does sometimes.....

I: Interesting. Ask the heart, does mind know better than the heart.

S: No, it doesn't but heart is wiser and let’s do it. Heart feels actually very strong but is pretty patient with mind. There is a knowing that mind will stop once.

I: Nice. Thank the heart.
Ask the mind, if it knows that heart is its home.

S: Mmmh, it knows but kind of ignored out of arrogance.

I: I see. Ask the mind if it's at home.

S: No, mind isn't at home and believes it will have to loose something if coming home. Wants to distract by rushing around, pretending to be busy with more important things like reading ABOUT something than coming home. It says that's early enough to come home at the end of life.

I: Ask the mind, what can be lost if it goes home.

S: It's importance. Mind is scared not to be needed anymore.

I: I see. Tell the mind, that it will always be needed and useful.
Being at home only means being relaxed and at ease.
Ask it if it prefers being important to being at ease.

S: Mind likes to be at ease but wants to keep control as well.

I: Ask it what it is in control of?

S: It is still convinced to be in control of the unfolding of daily life adventures even if experienced every day differently. It doesn't want to give up planning life. Can't be relaxed about the process.

I: Ask it to look, what it is in control of exactly.

S: In truth it wants to protect it's own weakness and plays out as important and strong.

I: Mmmmm... Ask it if it still wants to do that.

S: It says that it is fighting against life and made the experience very often to loose. Mind feels disconnected, lost and alone. Suddenly wants to come home because it is so terrible tired.

I: Wow, good! Asking if it's ready to go home.

S: Yes, because heart is so incredible strong and wise. Mind is happy to give up. Who would have expected that???

I: Ha!
Ok thank the mind for doing so much work and give it a kiss.
Ask it if it's ready to go home now.

S: Yes it is very happy to go home and trust the heart. Big relief here.

I: Awesome!

Close eyes, put a hand on right side of chest, opposite the heart, feel fully whatever shows up. Take your time
Just feel, without naming.

S: I feel almost at peace but the little one appears as black spot!?

I: Interesting.. Ask the little one, what she wants.

S: She wants to be cuddled and I get a little bit dizzy right know. As if she would slowly slowly agree to wake up from a very deep sleep!?!???

I: Beautiful! Give her a cuddle!
Smile and kiss. Hold arms around your body as if you hug her.

S: She says that she feels totally forgotten!!!

I: Omg!
Say sorry to her and tell that you'll never forget about her any more.
Ask her what she wants from you.

S: She wants to hold hand with me.

I: Hold hands with her.
Tell her that you love her soooo much and that she is beautiful, precious and gorgeous.

S: Crying again....I can't believe that she only wants to hold hands with me and seems to be totally fine. How cute is that?????

I: Totally cute!
Ask her if she is happy.

S: She is so happy only through this....

I: Beautiful!
Ask the heart now if it's at peace.

S: Heart gives me a big smile. How wonderful.....

I: Lovely! Ask the mind if it's at peace.

S: Oh yeah, it is very happy and at peace.

I: Beautiful :)
I'd suggest now to lay down, close eyes and feel the peace and love for a bit.

S: Oh, yes, I feel having down a marathon. Can we please stop for today?
Soo much gratitude.

I: Yes, we are finished.
You are most welcome!

S: Can't find enough words for this work with you, Ilona. So much love.

I: Love received! And much love to you!

S: Thanks xoxoxo, Susanne

I: Xoxoxo

We can speak later!

Rest now!


S: What a perfect timing it was. I could immediately go to bed after the session, had a deep rest and feel "the marathon" today in a very good way. Talk to you later after settling a bit more. With love, Susanne


I: Hi Susanne. Hope you are well! How are you feeling today?

S: Thanks for asking, Ilona. I am feeling more peaceful in the sense that I trust myself more. What I mean by "myself" is my authority, my heart, what feels true for me. Less confusion because I am now more and more able to stand up for myself.

By the way two days before my husband died out of the blue I said to him, which came out of the blue as well, that I now know why I moved to Australia (not to marry him 3 month earlier): "Life supports me that I can stand up for myself"........

Thank you for your brilliant support. I would like to do this with other people more than guiding. Do you have any suggestions for me? With love, Susanne


I: That's great to hear that you trust yourself more! Beautiful. What you can do is keep talking to the heart and mind and the little one, you can listen to what they have to say and give them love. This self-love is so nourishing and peaceful.

I'm sorry to hear that your husband passed away..

Much love

S: Thank you, Ilona. Yes, my husband's death 3,5 years ago was the starting point to put all my spiritual knowledge into practice what I still love to do.

Thank you for the tip to stay in contact with the mind, the heart and the little one. I actually did it today automatically. Sending love, Susanne

If you like to post our session feel free to do so.


I: Thank you very much! I may do that, post it on the blog in a couple of days. These sessions seem to help other people too, to go through some kind of opening. Which is lovely!

Hope you are well!

Much love.


S: Thank you Ilona, yes I am well. I had this kind of session with a friend of mine yesterday which was pretty good. What I really love about this dialogue is the intuitive kind of communication. Much love to you.
I: That is great to hear! Once you experienced this kind of dialogue, you know it and you can hold space for a friend. It's kindness that works the magic. Welcoming everything, giving hugs, kisses and smiles to what comes for a visit is like a balm on an old wound. It's like watering and nourishing that which was dried out. Giving love to parts that forgot how it feels. Just sitting with a feeling for a minute allowing it to be ok is a turning in. LOOKING inside. Noticing what is going on without trying to run away. It really is interesting... You know the phrase look inside, well, this is it. 

Deep Looking a very intuitive flow, sometimes the answers and questions that come up are surprising. Sometimes it gets really weird, but keep going, it's all part of it. It works best with a friend and it works for both. If release does not happen then it's more talking needed. Using this, one can go into very deep peace with what is. 

Enjoy :)