Friday, 19 September 2014
Fear informs about itself through an intense sensation. There is this distinct flush, that gets triggered by thought or sound, visual stimulus, smell, taste or touch. The sudden contraction makes itself known as fear. It's not pleasant and may set a chain of reactions. It's felt as a strong NO to whatever is triggering it.
Imagine for a second. You are in a desert. Wide open space. You are walking for hours, in circles. You go up another hill and see a door. It s standing right there, very obvious and it has got a lock on it. No key around. No key in your pockets. Door does not move, does not open, it just stands there. You are stunned and can not move forward. So you sit by the door, and sit some more, thinking, guessing, dreading for what is behind it. It feels like the door is guarding something, something that you need to see. The lock at the same time is having a laugh, it is done it's trick, it makes it appear that there is something behind the door that is protected. There is another way to find out what is behind the door. No need to unlock it, no need to push it open, just take a step to the side and look behind it, behind the door. There is nothing there. It's just nothing there! The desert continues in all ways, the door stands there, but it's not an obstacle.
The fear feels and acts like that lock on the door. It stops one from going further. If it is not safe, it makes itself known by a contracted feeling. It's a signal to step back, warning of danger, real or imagined. That feeling can be so strong that it may paralyze thinking and acting.
I learned about looking behind the fear from watching Pamela Wilson working with people, getting them relaxing from old tensions and fears.
Fear is a sensation. It is not to be feared, but noticed, felt. It is not good or bad, in itself. It is doing it's job, keeping the self image and belief structure safe and intact. And at the center of belief castle there is a special belief- you, a separate entity, perceiver of life, in charge of your own choices. When fear is triggered and set in action, reactions may be unpredictable.
There are many techniques and ways to deal with fear, but let's try something different. Acknowledging it's presence when it shows up, being aware that fear is here -- thank it. Thank it for coming. Just let it be here for a minute. And see that it's ok for it to be here. Bow to it in honor.
Then look behind it. What is there? Is anything showing up? And what is behind that?
Just like that locked door in the desert, you can look from the other side. All you need to do is take a peek, out of curiosity, see what is there behind that door.
This way you don't need to go into feeling, analyse it endlessly, instead look at what is hiding there, behind that sensation.
If fear is too big, there are ways to reduce it. I recommend EFT (emotional freedom technique) or whatever that works for you. Some people experience a lot of fear in this process, some don't at all. There is no rule. If you feel fear, acknowledge it, if not, then don't look for it. There really is nothing to be afraid of. Nothing is going to vanish, disappear, die or get destroyed. It's safe. Questioning core beliefs does not destroy anything real. Only the false falls away. The false that distorts the view, that holds tension, anxiety, suffering. It may feel like a loss, but nothing worth keeping gets lots.
In other words, nothing stops being what it already is. Beliefs that no longer serve, are no longer needed and it's OK to move past that and explore with fresh eyes.
Bypassing fear, making friends with it, using it as a radar to find places that still need cleaning up of old beliefs, is a different way to relate to fear. In this way it can be appreciated. After all is has been doing such great job so far.
So take a peek, look behind it. What is there that feels threatened? You may find one of two things- nothing at all, or something that wants to be seen. Keep looking, what is there.
When mind sees that there is nothing there, the protection mechanism stops protecting that nothing. This may come like a shock, but what is the worst that can happen to nothing?
Fear is a friend, really. It builds protection. It guards form harm. But all those ideas that appear important can not be harmed. The image of me, is mind made. It is not something that can be harmed, disappear, die, or be lost, it's an image, created by mind and protected by fear. As if mind instructed itself to forget to question the self-made image of identity.
Don't fear that sensation. Say yes to it, next time it comes up and see what else you notice about this mechanism, about the nature of sensation and what triggers it. Explore it with curiosity, fearlessly.