Sadness

This feeling of sadness is visiting me today... The reason for it is that somebody close is fighting cancer. It's a fight without winners, the end is unquestionable and fatal.

I know that, what wasn't born can not die. That birth and death is a natural cycle of life and there is nothing anyone can do to change that. I'm at peace, but sadness is colouring this moment with dim, soft flavour.

The woman had a really hard life, many illnesses and severe physical pain. What is it that decides if we have good life or life of suffering, is it karma? Is it payback for mistakes that we may have done in the past lives? I know nothing about it. And it makes me feel sad. A life lived in pain is it life lived in vain?

The biggest sufferings I have experienced in my life were because I saw other people suffer and could not help them. This actually pushed me to questioning what is going on. So now I know, that what is happening is happening by itself and there is no one here to change anything. Life is going on, not caring about you me or anyone else, it's following it's laws and whatever happens is perfect. The sadness is perfect. Birth and death is perfect. Suffering is perfect. So I don't resist this moment, I write about it, I may share it with you and if you read this- it's also perfect.

Whatever is here now is temporary. The life of character has beginning and the end, just like a movie. The story that evolves is just a story, love, hate, suffering, pain and moments of ecstasy are all just fragments of life. One life.

I celebrate when I feel like and I am sad when sadness comes. Deep knowing that nothing stays as it is makes the life more intense, more full.

I just wish that we all could leave this physical experience in peace, realised our true nature and grateful for every experience we had.

I also wish that cancer would leave humans and never come back. Same as any other diseases. I wish that we found a way as a species to live in harmony with nature and suffering would be a thing of the past. For everyone.

If you are suffering, it's not too late, just please, wake up. Do yourself a favour, look with all honesty into the root of suffering, which is untruth. Free yourself, help others, lets make a difference. Before it's too late.

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Another End- Beginning

Here I am at the end of another stage. The end of pointing. Seems like everything I needed to say has been said. No more burning fire that wants to shake and wake YOU up. Just smooth, relaxed ride.

There is a feeling of contentment and wholeness that is settling in the life of Ilona. Peace and quite. Relaxed great-fulness. And it does not matter what seems to be going on around.

The next stage is being set up. The big move is on a way: going to a new town, new house, next place I'm gonna call home. Just waiting for the paperwork to go through and next wave carry us over...

It has been a year since finding Jed McKenna. It's been crazy! Madness maddened- I know what that points to. And here I am after the storm of self catch and release, open to whatever comes next, trusting life and enjoying the simple being.

Here is another end-beginning taking shape.

Yesterday just before the end of paperwork thing, here was a cloud hanging in the open space, "what if..." I felt the sense of frustration rising, what if it all goes wrong, what if we don't get the house which already felt like home. What if shit happens and I have no plan B?

A friend reminded me to focus on all things that I appreciate right now. Thank you Elena! After a while of feeling appreciation the smile came back and cloud seemed to have passed away.

The drama only lives in the mind and feeds on thoughts. It's pointless. Yet necessary as it can show where lack of trust is hiding.

Mind is such powerful tool, such amazing gift. And learning to navigate it is like learning to navigate a spaceship. It can be natural but it helps to learn some tricks!

Trust in life is something that let's you breathe easy no matter what. Trust that everything that is happening is a part of bigger pattern. And the full glory of perfection can be seen in tiny imperfections... Which is perfect too. A bit of frustration in the end of the road just shows, how easy ride it has been so far.

Release.

Getting ready to move.
Such fun!!!


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Treasure

As life goes on we are all digging a hole looking for treasure. The treasure is freedom from suffering, freedom from everything, everlasting contentment, joy of life and unconditional love.

The question is, are you sure you are digging your own hole or is it possible that you got distracted by someone else's findings? It's great to see that others are finding treasures and sharing wisdom on where and how they found it, but what really counts is your own findings.

You can clap hands and shout woo hoo when you see the success of your friends, but what about your success, have you found your freedom?

I did.

I can talk about it, enjoy writing about it, sing songs and dance, but has my freedom got anything to do with yours? You are on your own in your own treasure hunt. Don't get distracted, keep digging until you see for yourself, by yourself. Keep digging until the truth is revealed to you, don't stop at the road signs, it's not the destination.

Imagine you drive on the highway and watch out for the directions. You see a sign and rather than passing by keeping the eye on destination you stop at the sign and start analysing it. What is it made of, how is it build, how other people perceive it, what does it mean etc. Immediately you get stuck, look, it's just a sign post, keep moving. Don't get confused by the shiny wisdom, as long as it does not come from your own realisation, it just another concept.

I see that humans like to help each other before they help themselves. Before they find their own freedom they are just as lost as you.

Help yourself first. Then you can guide others to their own freedom.

keep moving.

Further.

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The show

Let's talk about the show that's going on here. There is this character Ilona. She is a young woman, passionate and creative, she does tattoos for a living and explores life's mysteries.

One day in the story she woke up, she saw how ridiculous situation is, that humans are full of themselves, ignoring what is in front of their eyes, immersed in drama, believing it's real and not questioning if it is.

One day she saw, that there was no self, but only life flowing, character playing the role, that can not be chosen by character itself. The character Ilona is the play. There is nothing behind. There is no one directing it, it plays itself. Self existing play.

Whatever thoughts appear, it's part of play. Whatever move she makes it's part of play.
Seeing this the suffering drops, no more tears, no more heartbreake, no more owning pain. No more sticking to emotions and owning them, just flow, just a movie. That which is, just is. And it's everything. The grand show of humans is on, nobody is watching, as there is nobody here, but self existing play. Woo Hoo!

Let's go back to Ilona.
It appears that it is her writing this. It isn't really- just flow, just play, just life, without a separate person. The show is going on.

And you are in it- a character that plays out a role perfectly, there is no bad acting. Every act is perfect. Every character that she meets only know her as a character and to everyone she is different. A fiction. Like batman.

Creative power is playing, expressing as stories, as feelings that stories raise up.

Look at the game Sims. It's a simple version of what is going on in the human game of evolution on planet Earth. the characters are created, given features, likes, dislikes, appearance, name, etc and they are dropped into a house where they go around their normal needs, like eating, washing, toilet, work, make money, socialise etc.

Character Ilona hated this game, it seemed to her so evil, the players seemed so powerless, such puppets of the one with a kreyboard and mouse. But she is just the same- a character, who goes around her day, powerless to change the script as it is the script that plays out as her.

Whatever comes up is part of play. And that's all there is. Only there is no man with a keyboard and mouse. Hihi

In the story of character Ilona since seeing through illusion of separate self the freedom keeps expanding. The joy is here, the story is about losing all that does not serve her anymore.

Whatever happens, there is this deep knowing that Ilona feels- the flow is. It's nothing that she can do about it. So flowing peacefully within it is such a exciting way to live. Whatever is expressing itself is unstoppable and welcome.

Like this post. It happens by itself. Forget about Ilona, see for yourself. There is no you but play is on, the fictional character........ (your name) is in it. And that is it.

Mind the Mind

Imagine a commuter system.
Imagine there is a little virus program sitting inside and judging how it works, talking non stop about what is right and wrong and what is missing.
Imagine you deformat the drive and the little bugger is gone.
Freedom.
All it was- just a bug.

 ........................

Everyone is searching for freedom (if it hasn't been found yet). Liberation is the goal, freedom from suffering, freedom from mind.

Peace and clarity, pure being- these are some beautiful words that attract seekers.

Where do you look for liberation? The confusion is in the mind, so the liberation takes place in the mind. The identification with thinker, the assumption that it is a "me" there putting thoughts in order is the core of suffering.

Where does suffering take place? I'd say that in the heart and trough the mind it manifests as endless thoughts about what is wrong or what is missing. Pain happens in the body, suffering- in the heart and mind labels everything as "my pain" creating more suffering.

Heart opens when mind gets quiet. When mind is quiet, peace and silence get noticed. Awareness of here and now... With crazy chatting mind there never will be peace. But liberation is not about getting rid of mind, it's about clearing mind. Cleaning it up from unstoppable feedback loops, trains of thought that go round and round... like a record baby...

Imagine your home needs cleaning big time. Spring cleaning is a big job. And rather than starting throwing old things out and polishing every corner you go for a walk in a park. Relaxing in awareness, enjoying view and noticing how everything is one and perfect. Nice fuzzy feelings.

When you get home, did the house got clean as a result of your relaxing in the park? I bet it didn't.

To get the house clean one actually needs to roll up the sleeves and do some work. If you think that your mind will become liberated if you remember to stay in the now think again. Think hard.

And think for yourself.

The problem with humans is not that they are unaware, but confused. everyone knows everything except that their cup is full. The mind is programmed with culture, beliefs, identification, knowledge, stories and opinions. Do you see where I'm going? The liberation is not from the mind, but from content of mind which distorts the view of that which is. From assumption that it is a "me" sitting in the brain making decisions based on free choise.

No belief is true.

Suffering serves as a fuel for search for peace. The best opportunity to investigate when suffering becomes unbearable. untill you desire freedom with all your being, until you instruct mind to investigate itself, nothing will change. You can pretend, ignore, deny, but you can not run anywhere away from your mind. "You" is in the mind until it isn't.

So mind the mind and start using it. Think for yourself what is true until you know.

Focus on liberation, because without goal mind get's lost and distracted too easy. Practice awareness, but don't believe anyone who says anything without checking it out for yourself.

Suggestion accepted is hypnotism, break out from the trance of believing good people and get your mind clear.

By yourself.


Yeah.

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