Marty: There Never Was A Self Here In Me Or In Anybody Else

Hi, My name is Marty,
and I came through the gate a month ago using Ilona's 7 step guide. I waited a while to feel settled into this new way of being, and to be certain I wasn't kidding myself. I would like to know my next steps. Is there anyone I can correspond with?
with much gratitude for the LU wonderful work,
Marty

Ilona
Sep 17

Hi Marty,

Thank you so much for email.
It is great to hear that 7 steps was what got you to look :)

We usually ask a few questions and invite those that cross the gate to join LU community on Facebook for continuous support and friendship.

We can talk here, or on forum, whichever you prefer. You can sign up and post in home section.
http://liberationunleashed.com/nation/index.php

Kind regards,

Marty
Sep 18

hi Ilona,
I was delighted to get a reply from you in person. I am so grateful for what you do. This is a fantastic, amazing uncomplicated gift of  freedom you have made possible. What you have made possible has been the biggest thing in my 67 years on the planet. In my years of searching, I have been a catholic cleric, and a Buddhist cleric, without finding what I was looking for.. until now.
So, yes please to questions. I'd really like to help others.

A friend of mine ( who is in the Buddhist order I used to be in) is in a care home with MS, and asked me to help him crash the gate. He is really impressed with LU, and is ready to go. However, he finds it very hard to type, he feels he can't go for it on the LU site. I started looking at the seven steps with him, but thought I'd better check in with LU first.
regards,

Marty
p.s. I had started an account of how the seven steps worked for me (and my wife!), if that would be useful.

Ilona
Sep 19

Hi Marty,

I'm delighted to hear that 7 steps were helpful for you and your wife. What a joy to share this journey with your loved one!

Lets see if you are through with both legs :)
Here are the questions that we usually ask:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

6) Anything to add?

Please answer in full, when ready.

Once you answer I will see if there are any sticky points. So take your time.
As for your friend, you can guide him! There are also a few guides in LU that do at over Skype.

Sending love.

Marty
Sep 19

hi Ilona, thank you very much for getting back with the questions.
I'll have time tomorrow to sit down and write my responses. Yes, it was great to follow the 7 steps with my wife- even when she sailed through while I snagged and got scared!
love,
Marty

I'll tell my friend about Skype and see what he thinks.
Thank you again so much for this gift

Sep 20

1.       Is there a separate entity, self, me, I at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No, nowhere. There is no self to be found in my experience, and I have looked and looked. I have looked . What I find is a big bundle of tendencies, thoughts, urges, all competing for attention. Yes, there is attention too, but that isn't  an  entity. There still arises a desire to control, to manage, but that’s all it is, a desire, even and urgent desire at times. But that’s all it is.  There is no self, and what a relief. I am so happy to be rid of the burden created by that belief. No one to defend, even though the thought, the wish to defend comes up. There is no one to promote and show off, even though the wish to be admired still shows up.  There is no I, even though I use the word all the time. I know that the ‘I’ that I  refer to is just the way we talk, because that’s how language  works. There is no self in anyone else either, and that’s so fascinating. We are all big bundles of urges and tendencies, and anything can happen!  It’s so much more relaxed with my grandchildren, and kids I teach art to in school. No need to be so heavy about behavior, no one’s setting out to do anything on purpose. It all just happens in the moment.   A kid gets a bit excited, he or she needs reminding, but it just happens , and its nobody’s fault. No big deal.

There never was a self here in me or in anybody else. The creating of the self that we all have done is nobody’s fault either. That’s just what happens.

2.        Explain in detail what the illusion of a separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The illusion is an act of creating that we all do as we grow up in families, in school, in society. Maybe there is no other way for people to learn how to get what they want and to fit in with  family  and society at the same time. My grandchildren are home educated and are hardly ever sanctioned, but they still create a clamouring self, in order to compete with siblings. So, I’m thinking that it’s pretty much an inevitable that children learn to do that. Especially when they start to say  “ I want…”

I can’t remember early childhood, but I do remember having the desire to be accepted along with the desire to keep  myself separate. I think maybe that’s the dynamic that creates the sense of self.
Looking to my experience now, I can see how that desire to defend, to promote myself, to look out for my advantage is still there as a default bunch of impulses that pop up quick as a flash. Now, those impulses don’t have anything to hang on to. I see them, and they just drift off. I certainly recognize that as a falling away of stuff of its own accord.

What my wife tells me is that I’m not reactive now. She doesn't have to worry about upsetting me . She can tell me challenging things in a straightforward way. That’s my feeling to.

3.       How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from  before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
It  feels so different and at the same time so ordinary and matter of fact. As its been about five weeks since I saw there was no self, I've had  time to absorb and to check out my experience. At first , I felt I couldn't really be sure. Had it really happened.  Was I kidding myself?  Were things any different at all? But then, things began to fall away. First of all, a heavy sense of guilt that had been dogging me for over twenty years just evaporated. That was the guilt about breaking up from my wife and kids and starting another relationship. I thought I was going to take that to my grave and now its gone.  The next thing I noticed was that a habit of mentally picking on my adopted daughter for all sorts of things just started to fall off. I just began to leave her be, she’s just her own bundle of tendencies.  No need to try to control any of that. Then my obsessive e-bay habit of looking for windsurfing stuff began to fall off too. I would log on and look lots of times a day, every spare moment I had. And that just started falling off. What I have now is just more internal space, where I am happy with a strong sense of this just right here and now.

I did spend quite a lot of energy looking at Buddhism again, and  I wondered if my seeking compulsion was still there, and that I hadn't crashed the gate after all. But that seems to have found its level now.
What I do find is that unpleasant feelings such as anger, anxiety and fear are SO much more visceral, so it’s not like its all happy clappy. Nevertheless, there is a sense of deep peace and confidence that the way forward will just show itself.

4.       What was the last bit that pushed you over?, made you look?
I had found the LU site through a friend, bought the book and raved about it to my wife. She began to read the book. I found your steps on the site, and  we decided to have a go.

Following the 7 steps with my wife was great fun.. until step 5. When it came to looking to find if there was a separate self, I began to become really frightened. Meanwhile, my wife (who is really pragmatic, and had no expectations) just saw, with some tears, that there was no separate self. When I felt stuck and upset that evening, she remembered what you said about going back to expectations if you get stuck. So, I went back to look at my expectations and saw that I had big ‘Buddhist Insight’ type expectations, about the death of self. However, I still felt stuck in being too frightened to go on. I realized I needed just to be honest and honor the fear, bow to it, trust it and just stay with the process.  I still felt really disappointed. Next morning I woke up with the simple certainty that the self is just a myth. No big feelings, just that simple truth. The self is a myth. It’s just a story.

So, what pushed me over was seeing that I needed to honor my fear and acknowledge my unhelpful expectations. Then seeing just happened by itself,  no effort,  maybe when I was asleep!

5.       Do you decide, intend, control events in life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.
This for me has been BIGGIE. The final place I found was the refuge for the belief in self was in being the controller. The story I had been telling myself, was that no matter how varied my life circumstances, I had been in control. In my many years as a class teacher, I had prided myself in having a lovely system of control. As a practicing Buddhist teacher for years, I had taught the central role of volition in creating karma. Do battle with the  root poisons. Overcome the self. And so on and so on.

I see that the belief in a controller is such a big lie. There is no one in control. Its all an illusion. There are thoughts of wanting to control, there are really urgent, even painful feelings of wanting to control. There is even identification with the thought” I am in control”. But that’s all there is. That’s how nature works, how evolution works, how survival works. And it works for survival. But there is no body doing that. Its all nature’s programming doing its job really well.

Do I intend anything? No me needed to intend. Intending, organizing, knowing when a task is complete, when a need is met is all there in the program. Even my hens can do that when they lay their eggs.
All the things in my life, like getting to school on time, looking after the kids, all happen because the habits and tendencies are all there, making it all work smooth as clockwork.

Even in the higher order events happen by themselves. Going on LU, reading the gatecrashing book, reflecting,  looking for a self: these happen by themselves. Now that is an amazing miracle- new ideas , new contacts, LU guidance, all just happening, unfolding all by themselves. Its just a wave of energy and tendencies all bundling along.

What a relief. That burden is more and more being laid down. I don’t have to worry about control, or make others feel they need to exercise control. It feels so much more like play.

6.       Anything to add?
Ilona, I’m aware that all this might sound a bit euphoric, a bit too much like a big conversion high, but its been five weeks now, and the falling off has been steady and incremental. In many ways, I feel that life is just the same as before. I often forget this central awareness of no self , being involved where I am and what I am doing, in being anxious, fearful, excited about success, but the awareness seems to come back quite quickly, and the deep sense of peace with it. This is such an amazing gift. The greatest gift. Look. I've gone euphoric again!
That's  it so far, Ilona. I just sat down and wrote this straight off without reflecting or correcting, in the belief it would more easily show any gaps or snags, or caught legs.
with much gratitude,
Marty

Ilona
Hi Marty,

Thank you for answers, it was delightful to read! I'm very happy for you and your wife, what a joyful turn of events. You have each other to share an support on this journey, so beautiful.

I can see from your answers that gate was crossed with both legs, great! And of course it's just a beginning, a fresh start, there is much to explore.

I'd love to invite you to Facebook groups. Could I post our conversation on my blog? It maybe helpful for someone else. I can use your name or whatever name you prefer. This way other guides can read this too and ask questions if they have any.

Much love to you both.
Huge smile :))))

Marty

hi Ilona,
I am thrilled to get the thumbs up from you.  I have been nervous, waiting to hear from you! I have tears in my eyes as I write. I cannot stress enough how grateful I am to you for this wonderful gift.
Yes, very happy to have our conversation available under my name. Yes, I'd love to go on the site on that link and find my way around. I'd love to help others, and would like some help and training on that. much love and gratitude,
Marty

Ilona
You are most welcome! I love to hear that you are interested in sharing this gift with others. This is the biggest gift to me, when you pass it on. It makes this work spread and frees people's mind from confusion. What can be a bigger gift then freedom..

much love to you and your wife.


Here is a link to correspondence with Meg, Marty's wife http://markedeternal.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/meg-i-was-surprised-how-simple-that-was.html

Brett: I'm No Longer Seeking. What a Relief...

Brett was very energetic and we exchanged over 150 emails. This is what happened in the beginning and towards the end. Brett had a lot of expectations and once they dropped, the seeking dropped too. 

Ilona

Hi Brett,

Here we can start. What is it that you are expecting from this conversation?

Please answer as fully as possible.


Brett 

Jun 10

Hi Ilona,

"I" am expecting to work with you giving you "my"110% in everything that you ask me.

"I" am expecting to recognize freedom, awakening, liberation without any doubt at all. Even when" I"had the awakening with Fred I doubted it but I did recognize how things were one and nothing is permanent.

"I" want to have clear seeing of the truth, and "I" want to know 110% that the "self" doesn't exist, "I" still have some doubt about that, even though "I" know the self doesn't exist, it's still a knowing not a definite.

"I" want freedom more then anything else, "i" will do anything it takes.

Thank youSo much

...............

"I" want too see past the illusion of separation.

Ilona

Jun 11


<"I" am expecting to work with you giving you "my"110% in everything that you ask me.

<"I" am expecting to recognize freedom, awakening, liberation without any doubt at all. Even when" I"had the awakening with Fred I doubted it but I did recognize how things were one and nothing is permanent.
Sounds like you are talking about a state. Realisation is not a state. No state is permanent, but pattern recognised, can not be unrecognised. It's just like Santa story, once it's clear that Santa is imagined, not real, it can never be believed again. Nothing to do with any state.

"I" want to have clear seeing of the truth, and "I" want to know 110% that the "self" doesn't exist, "I" still have some doubt about that, even though "I" know the self doesn't exist, it's still a knowing not a definite. 

What do you expect that should be different? Really look here. What is behind the doubt?

"I" want freedom more then anything else, "i" will do anything it takes.

What kind of freedom are you after? Freedom from suffering, from fear? From negative emotions? From what?

You don't need to use quotes when you write I. I can say I, no problem. It's clear that I is just a word without which communication would be difficult. So feel free to use it in a normal manner.

Look deeper at your expectations. This, what you wrote is just a scratch of surface. Bring them all up.

What do you expect awakening is?

What do you think it will do for you?

What do you want it to be like?

What are you waiting to happen?

Full honesty is the key here.


This is the most important step, so take time with it.

Here is an article for you.

http://markedeternal.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/expectations.html?m=1


No rush, answer when ready.

Sending love.

Brett

Jun 11
Here is the answer to the first question:

"I" expect more bells and whistles, even though "I" know that's not normally the case. "I" am expecting to feel a certain way all the time, "I" know that that's not the case as well. "I" am starting to see awakening is different then what I expect it to be. "I" do want to let awakening unfold as it does, with "me" not controlling it.

Does this make sense?

There is fear behind the doubt. There is fear that "I" can't do this (the awakening). "I" don't have what it takes to (awaken). "I" make awakening like its special, but "I" know intellectually I am already awake. "I" am feeling that this doubt comes from "my" childhood (being picked on, having few friends, and so on). When I looked behind the doubt "I" saw myself as a child and all I listed above, I am looking deeper now and lets see what comes up. Behind the doubt comes a fear of letting "myself" and "others" down. It's quite interesting what's coming up, fear of "my" father. I look behind the fear and I feel and see love and peace (very beautiful).

"I" just got it that doubt is a label and labels aren't real they are just labels. "I" see the a body made of post its on each post it is a label and as each label (post it) is peeled there is nothing behind it and that's because labels are just that nothing.
…………………

I am after freedom from attachments and aversions ( but that doesn't come from me), I am after freedom from suffering ( from the world, allowing others to make me suffer "I know no one can make me suffer", suffering because others are suffering), pain (physical, mental, emotional), freedom from fear ( fear has led my life for years, always allowing fear to control me( I know fear is just thoughts, labels and a story), freedom from the illusion of separation, I really want freedom to help others be free, I want to be the peace, love, happiness.

I am at work now and I will answer the other questions when I get home and I want to really take my time with the answers and focus.

Is it ok if I also ramble on with my thoughts about the other questions you asked.

It's pretty funny because I rambled on and on then I lost all that I typed.

Ilona

Jun 11

Why would there be bells and whistles? It's just a drop of belief, not a shiny new insight. Some people have an experience, some not, it's half and half, and that does not mean anything. If you are looking for something to happen, you are missing out on seeing what already is.

> "I" am expecting to feel a certain way all the time,

Hahaa, like a mummy or something? No it does not make you a zombie, not there is such thing as happy forever after. This is not a fairy tale. It's life. And in life all things happen. There is nothing permanent.

> "I" know that that's not the case as well.

Good.

> "I" am starting to see awakening is different then what I expect it to be.

Exactly. That is why it is best to leave ALL expectations and take a fresh look.

> "I" do want to let awakening unfold as it does, with "me" not controlling it.

There is no "me" controlling it, don't worry about that.

Ilona

There is fear behind the doubt. There is fear that "I" can't do this(the awakening). "I" don't have what it takes to (awaken). "I" make awakening like its special, but "I" know intellectually I am already awake.No, I am already awake assumes that there is I that is awake, there is no I. Just being awake. Just being. 

"I" am feeling that this doubt comes from "my" childhood (being picked on, having few friends, and so on). When I looked behind the doubt "I" saw myself as a child and all I listed above, I am looking deeper now and lets see what comes up. Behind the doubt comes a fear of letting "myself" and "others" down. It's quite interesting what's coming up, fear of "my" father. I look behind the fear and I feel and see love and peace (very beautiful).

Beautiful. Yes, this is great looking.

"I" just got it that doubt is a label and labels aren't real they are just labels. "I" see the a body made of post its on each post it is a label and as each label (post it) is peeled there is nothing behind it and that's because labels are just that nothing.
Yes! That's it. Labels are not objects or subjects. Just labels.

.................

Ilona

Thank you for open honesty. It's really beautiful that you have an intention to help others be free.

Suffering is mental, it's thoughts about suffering, there is no emotional pain or mental pain, pain is a contraction felt in the body. And it does not mean there should be suffering attached to that. You may find my latest article useful when looking for yourself, what is suffering. http://markedeternal.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/where-is-sufferer.html

Write to me what you notice in your experience about mechanism of suffering.

Also, with seeing no self, suffering does not automatically vanish. Suffering is here because of conditioning and unresolved emotional wounds. So there is no magic wand to make all go away in one hit. But there is opening freedom TO experience. To feel pain, anger, fear, joy, love, without judgement, that it"s good or bad.

It's not what you expect, once again.

<I am at work now and I will answer the other questions when I get home and I want to really take my time with the answers and focus.

Is it ok if I also ramble on with my thoughts about the other questions you asked.

It's pretty funny because I rambled on and on then I lost all that I typed.
Lets do like this. I ask you questions, you work on them whole day and at the end send me a report. This way mind will get focused and won't be rambling. What I like you to write is only that which feels honestly true to you.

Sending love.

Brett

Here is the answers to the questions about the expectations of Awakening:

awakening is seeing the world in a different point of view. Seeing the world truthfully, with no filter. Awakening is only a shift of consciousness. Awakening is no-thing "special". The mind, labels and stories makes awakening "special". Awakening is having less of a push or pull from the world. Seeing the world differently. I just noticed that I want awakening to be something "special", to make myself "special".

When you asked what I think Awakening will do for me, I just noticed that everyone of the answers that come up are labels and are not true. I feel that awakening won't do much for me. All the thoughts, beliefs, stories and labels f hat i thought awakening would do for me came from other peoples beliefs that I had taken on.

I want awakening to make my life perfect (Which I know it won't do). I want awakening to be a HUGH event in my life (Which i know isn't true either). I want everyone to know that i am awakened (but that's not the truth either). Part of me wants people to know that i am awakened so that they will come for me for advice, and respect my opinions (quite interesting what I just said) hmmm.

I really want it to be something that isn't so big and I want it to be something more gradual and ease into it. I want awakening to be something that happens and i don't want to force it "like i use to try to do"

I wish I was going into the awakening with no preconceived notions, I feel that the preconceived notions aren't helpful.

Let's rephrase the question, ok? What WAS I waiting to happen? I was expecting for me to be special, people to look up to me, for me to be a guru ( though I love the word GURU= G U R U. In so many spiritual traditions they make awakening such a big deal, when I am aware now that its no big deal at all, and I am becoming more aware that no-thing really has to happen except for a slight change in SEEING. I was waiting for me to want to learn from me, i am noticing that this awakening that i use to believe in was centered around the me, the selfish me. The ego was the thing that was saying something has to happen .Something is happening now, I don't know what, but something is happening, something is changing. I am also feeling emotional now ( a wave of emotions is coming up, but then I am feeling them leave, all different feelings are coming up, though i feel this is good, like a release of something).

Now i am waiting for nothing to happen, because no-thing has to happen, i am all i need to be, nothing more, nothing less. I made this grand story up of what awakening is, but it's not that, its so much more simpler and more beautiful.

Being Loving Brett

……………………….
Hey IIona....

I just want to thank you for everything you are doing for me and taking your precious time to helping me.

I read the article on suffering and I love it and i totally relate to it (especially saying "yes" to all suffering. I learned that technique ad I enjoy doing it and it is helpful, thank you fo reminding me of the technique.)

Here is the answer to the question:

" What do i notice in my experience about the mechanism of mind?"

First thing I notice is that suffering only occurs when I have thoughts and The suffering occurs when i want things to happen a certain way or when things don't happen a certain way (the way i want them to happen). Suffering is felt physically as well as mentally and emotionally. Suffering is made by me. When i don't have expectations I don't suffer, my expectations come from many sources such as family, friends, society, teachers, and so on. Most of my expectations aren't my own expectations, but ones I adopted from others. When I suffer there are stories, labels and thoughts involved. Suffering seems to be very deep, but is't really deep. I just realized that suffering only happens when I believe a thought, story or feeling.

With no expectations suffering couldn't occur.

I do have less expectations then I use to have, What is being seen now the words accepting more, allowing more, which is something i have worked on for a while and definitely have seen progress.

Thank you again

Lots Of Love and Gratitude

………………………….

I am feeling a shift (something going on)

I am getting a feeling or message that there is no reason to rush in life. Take my time and see everything as it is. Take my time and enjoy the little things and allow myself to enjoy the little and big things. This is a very important and powerful message for me

……………………………….

Ilona

Great. No rush. All is happening at the right time - now.

Brett

I just got what suffering is, it's not just thoughts, stories and labels, it's the beliefs of thoughts, stories, labels. This just came to me while laying down.

Ilona

Yes, good one. Now take a look, what is it that makes beliefs stick? What is the glue that holds it all together?

Brett

I am only doing what you are telling me to do now, I am not doing any other " spiritual practice", is that the way you want it?

Ilona

Yep. No books, no videos, no second hand descriptions. Look for yourself for answers to questions.
………………………………....................................................................

A few weeks later

………………………………....................................................................

Brett

Hey Ilona....
I hope you had a nice 4th of July.yesterday i was very emotional and sad, I feel better today.

I noticed that since i stopped doing the sedona method, life is happier, less stressful, less have to's, Life is nicer.

I am not seeing that the shift happened yet.

Your Question:
Can you give some examples of seeing in your normal everyday situations.

My Answer:
Life in general is less stressful, easier. Long Story short I am still friendly with my ex-wife and we saw each other and she got on my nerves (LOL), I am taking life less seriously, life doesn't seem as real, i am taking life less personally.

Your Question:Has anything changed?

My Answer:Nothing has really changed, it seems like life is easier and less personal.

Your Question: What has stayed the same?

My Answer:
everything is the same, things seem easier, less stressful.

Your Question:

How do you see your friends and family now?

My Answer:
The relationship with most people are better then ever, my relationship with my mother and ex-wife seem the same. I want to have a better relationship with my mother and ex-wife.

Your Question:
Has relationship changed?

My Answer:
Overall I notice things around me being more positive, people around me being happier, people around me being friendlier.

Thank You Again

Lots of Love

Ilona

Jul 7

> I noticed that since i stopped doing the sedona method, life is happier, less stressful, less have to's, Life is nicer.

> I am not seeing that the shift happened yet.
Interestingly in one sentence you say, that there was something that changed in another's that nothing changed. Hehe, which one is it?

The shift by the way, can be very subtle. No dramatic fireworks does not mean it did not happen.

It never is what one expects.

Brett

Jul 7

There has definitely been a change, but I can't point to the change, I don't know when the change occurred.

Tell me what you recommend I do, there has been a shift if some sought.

Thank you

…………………………

Do you feel that I went past the gateless gate?

………………………..

Hi Ilona

I don't see the oneness of all things that is why I don't think that I went through the gateless gate, but I trust your opinion. What do you recommend I do ?

………………………………..

In the Mind I expect oneness when I drop the illusion of separation to be a certain way or feeling.


Ilona

Jul 8

what is separate from what?

Brett

nothing is separate from anything, everything is intertwined together.

I still have a thought that something has to happen for the illusion of separation to drop, but i do notice that it is loosening up. I guess i am wanting a big thing to happen, when the illusion of separation to happen, i guess i want life to be different, but in a way life is different. It's more calm, peaceful and loving. I know all i said to you in the paragraph is not true, its just beliefs.

I am noticing the reason why " I think", i didn't go through the gateless gate, is because of the expectations i had.

So what do i do now?

Thank you again for putting up with me....

Ilona

Jul 8

> nothing is separate from anything, everything is intertwined together.

Yes and no. Yes, everything is.. No to intertwining. It just IS.

> I still have a thought that something has to happen for the illusion of separation to drop, but i do notice that it is loosening up.
Well if nothing is separate, it's not that it suddenly becomes one, it always been one, so what is there to happen? It's not even one. It just IS.

> I am noticing the reason why " I think", i didn't go through the gateless gate, is because of the expectations i had.

Hahaha, is there a gate?

Is there anything to do?

Much love.

Brett

Nothing has to happen because everything just is (which I am feeling fear now). In back of the fear is just peace, live and friendliness.

There is not a gate, that is why it's called the gateless gate.

There is nothing to do.

Ilona

:))

How does it feel to see this?

Brett

It feels great

What do you recommend I do to be aware of this more and more?

Ilona

Yes, rest in that more and more..

How is your day going?

Brett

My day is going great

How is your day?

What do you recommend I rest in?

Ilona

Rest in resting :)

My day is nice too, 3rd day of summer is here, lovely.

Can you say you are through with this inquiry? Any questions left?

Brett

Yes I can say I am through with the inquiry, thank you so very much. I feel like there is no reason to inquire anymore, I don't see the purpose anymore.

What are my next steps?

Being loving Brett

…………………………

Can you recommend any books to read? Any topics to read about? Any processes or techniques to do?

Can you recommend anything for me to do that will make me go deeper into freedom?
....................................I see that inquiry wasn't even needed.

Ilona

There are a few great books- Adyashanti - the end of your world

Greg Goode - direct path

Alan watts videos, Shinzhen Young, Rupert Spira, etc etc.

But what is there to do to deepen? It's more like falling process-- old stuff starts falling off, all beliefs that were dependent on belief in I starts falling, trust the guide within.

You say that inquiry wasn't even needed. Hehe, what was it that was driving it?

Much love.

Brett

The driving force was the belief I had to do something to be "free". Now I know I no-thing has to be done.

I was thinking that maybe Byron Katie's or Scott Kilobys stuff maybe good, your opinion.

Ilona

hehe, then what is that drives you to read more and ask what i recommend?

Brett
I like to do things, I hate being bored. To me the best things to do is to grow a d help others.

Ilona

sweet. maybe we can wrap this up and you can start helping others to see through illusion. :)

Brett

Ok

How do we wrap this up? ( I know another question...lol)

As a kid I questioned everything.....

Ilona

Jul 10

We ask final questions and check with other guides if they have any questions.

Once all clear, we invite new haters to aftercare group and when ready one can join guide groups

And start guiding.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?


2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

6) Anything to add?

Please answer in full, when ready.

Much love.

Brett

Jul 10

I will answer these questions the day after tomorrow, I am seeing Amma tomorrow.

Brett

Jul 11

I was talking to a friend and she said something that is so true, since working with you the search has ended, it's beautiful

Thank you

I will answer the questions tomorrow

Ilona

I am so delighted to hear that, Brett!

Huge smile :)))))

Brett


Hey Ilona

How are you? Things are going very well here. Here is the answers to the questions.

1) Answer: There is no separate entity and there never was a separate entity, That was the illusion of the separate self.

2) Answer: The illusion of the separate self is (thinking, believing) that everything is separate from me, but the truth is everything there is no separate entity me. The illusion of the separate self starts when we are born and the way the world (people, family, teachers, etc.) talks to us and the way they communicate with us, forms the separation.

We are all one, nothing is separate we are connected at the deepest level. I am no longer seeking, i am allowing, accepting all that is.


3) Answer: It feels great to see this, Knowing that everything is working exactly as it should be. Feeling the love and connectivity to everything is beyond words.

The first major difference is that I no longer am seeking, I am accepting, allowing and loving all that I experience. Life is more loving, less attachments, less aversions, I notice that the mind is quieter, less judgements and Life just being perfect. Thoughts come and go, stickiness to thoughts.

4) Answer: I was getting sick of the seeking and I wanted it to be over, then yesterday I was talking to my friend and she said it all "it seems like you dropped the seeker", and she was so right, then when I started looking I noticed that I no longer am seeking and seeking is no longer needed. What a relief....

I noticed that when my guide said to drop all other methods of searching that's what did it. I was so attached to methods, techniques of searching, but they are not needed and the dropping of those techniques and processes is what brought me to go past the illusion of separation.

5) Answer: Events is life happen, I don't choose, intent, decide or control events in my life. I don't make anything happen. Things are happening whether I choose to be involved in them or not.

I noticed that i was no longer seeking and that just happened. I didn't do anything to notice it and I didn't do anything to drop the seeking, it just dropped. "Things" in life are happening no matter if I am involved or not, My involvement doesn't affect king anything happen or not.

Thank You So Much

Ilona

Jul 14

Hi Brett,

I got your answers and I'm very happy for you! Yey!

Sorry did not answer earlier, I was very busy last couple of days and just now have time to answer all.

Can I put bits of our conversation on my blog? This way I can get other guides to ask questions if they have any. Otter and Elena have been asking about you.

How is everything? Anything interesting to share?

Lots of love.

Brett

Hey Ilona

Everything is great, I am feeling more space each and everyday and i feel great. Please put whatever you want from our conversations on your blog.

Life seems less attached and everything is flowing beautifully. The most beautiful thing is that the seeker had dropped.

Say "Hi" to Elena and Otter.

Please ask any other questions you or other guides have.

Thank you again.

Ilona

Jul 15

Haha, that seeker was just a little misunderstanding. :) I'm so delighted for you.

Will get the blog post ready and up in the next couple of days.

Here is a gift for you.

http://liberationunleashed.com/PDF/Awakened.pdf

:)

Love!

Brett

Lol

So true
Thank you for the gift

Expectations

           Such a lovely day on the seaside... Sunshine, light breeze, sounds of sea, seaguls and distant traffic. It's delicious to sit on a bench in the sunshine and just be. This moment is complete, no where to rush, nothing to plan, there is peace and sense of deep joy of being alive, heart is wide open, streaming love.

Before seeing that "my self" was imagined I had glimpses into this gorgeousness of just being, but they were fleeting and short, mind would start wandering and get lost in images of future. Now I can sit and just be, without getting sucked in to the storyland.

This peace and delight is underneath all thinking, available any time. But to get here one needs to leave all thinking, problems, expectations just the same way as we leave shoes entering our house. You may say that it's easier said then done and of course, you are right. Because even though mind is seeking peace, it threatens it. As if that would mean an end to the stream of thoughts, the death of the narrator.

The biggest obstacle for seeing this moment AS IT IS are expectations. The shoulds and shouldn'ts, wants and don't wants, musts, needs and other weeds. These thoughts have a pull and once they arrive they have power to drag one in to a story and -puff- the peace is lost.

Mind creates expectations as this is what it's used to do. It's a habit, everyone has expectations, plans for the future and ideals to seek. If you don't have goals and expectations, there must be something wrong with you, right? It's so engrained in our heads, that its not even possible to raise this question- do we need expectations at all? In daily ordinary activities, in practical sense, are expectations useful?

What would it be like to live without expectations, have you wandered? Well, first thing I notice there is no more tension and constant need to get somewhere. The rush is gone, thoughts about time no longer feels like pressure. All that needs to be done gets done at the right time, no later or earlier. With that all thoughts about what someone else will think, if I do not deliver, are gone too. There is no more judgement and excuses, that used to run the show in this mind. Mind no longer creates future scenarios where it looks for solutions to imagined problems, what ifs. It doesn't even go there, as this exercise does not add to experience, only takes focus into the dreamland and is seen as futile.

I used to have nightmares: in my dreams I would see people sitting and waiting for me to do something they expect and me rushing to do what they ask and dreading that there is not enough time... If I can not meet their expectations (which are not even mine) then there comes a heavy feeling of guilt.. I'm not enough, I should be different, I need to try harder, I must improve my-self... Aaaaa, where is escape?! Where is the Exit sigh??

All house of suffering is built of unfulfilled expectations.

All search for freedom is built on expectations, that once we get "there", life is going to be so light and easy, so rosy and blissful, that we will be happy forever and ever. Seeking is based on expectations to find peace, by trying to fix something that is not as it should be. Resistance stops as expectations drop and openness is noticed. Seeking and expectations are one process driven by the belief, that something needs to happen on order to be happy now. One can live in a paradise and not notice that, if mind is constantly dreaming about something else.

The only thing that needs to happen is spring cleaning of the head from all those precious expectations. It's really simple- notice them as they arise, see how they hold an image of how it should be in contrast with HOW IT IS. See where they come from- your mum, your family, partner, kids, boss, community, bank manager... Are these expectations really yours? Do you expect to meet these expectations? What happens if you don't?

Of course the tension that is felt is here because of fear, that expectations won't be met. The feelings of sadness, regret, shame, guilt, blame, anger, desperation, hopelessness, wish to die are all close friends of expectations. With letting go of wants, shoulds and shouldn'ts triggers are released too. No more expectations, no more fear that they won't be met, no more resistance to what is here now.

The mother of all expectations is hope. It's a glorified expectation, that tomorrow will be better then today. It's a thought about future that gives birth to expectations. Hope is something that humans have. And yes, it's very nice to see when in stories and movies hopes come true and there is happy ending. But hope is the mother of fools, there is a saying in Lithuania. The more you hope, the less you see what is here now, that can be appreciated right this moment. And it's not really about practising appreciation, but opening the door for it to flow freely. Aaa, it feels so good just to be, the smile breaks and joy tickles- that feeling.

Expectations are like clouds that cover the sunshine of living this moment fully.
If you expect, that unwanted emotions should no longer be felt, then it's saying NO to these feelings when they come up and saying no to experiencing them fully. It's all part of life and freedom to live fully, to experience whatever presents itself without thinking that it should be different - is priceless. Freedom to experience, freedom to feel, to express, to love is already here. Just look behind the curtain of expectations. Well if you expect to see just the happy side, that too is a prison.


The easy steps to drop expectations:

1. Write all of them down.
What do you expect from......?
What you don't expect from........?
What do you want from.....?
What you don't want from......?

2. Dig deeper, find the hidden expectations and write them down too. Open up with whole honesty.

3. Read what you wrote and let this sink in. Let it all be OK. Acknowledge that these expectations are running in the system.

4. Take a look in your experience right now, is anything really missing?

5. Realise that nothing is ever happening the way you imagine it would, that life goes on regardless of how you expect it to go. Check if you have control over what is happening and when.

6. See if you need all those expectations or if its OK to let them all go. Take a closer look, if expectations are useful. See if anything would be lost if those expectations would drop. Write all that comes up. When you write, mind focuses and is forced to look closer.


And if this does not have an expected effect, you may bring your precious expectations to the forum and work with someone through them until there is shiny clarity.


Just like weeds in the garden, the sneaky expectations may come back. Don't let them ruin the show. :)