Master, Master, I want to be the Chosen One!

New age movement is the biggest trap that one can get himself into.  The ideas that you are The One that you are the general manager of the universe are very attractive. The seeker is very likely to accept this without questioning.  Why to question, it sounds good, it must be true, so I just go with it.

I've been there myself. That was the deepest nonsense that I have ever immersed myself into. It sounded like that: "I am the ultimate power of the universe". LOL

This is the opposite to reality, there is no separate self in reality, there is no power in thoughts about self, it's just an illusion, accepted for granted.  In reality there is life happening in the space of now. Undisturbed by what thoughts are about it.

Why is it that people do not question anything? This is a biggest mystery.  Somewhere somehow we choose to accept ideas without proof. Sometime ago we must have sacrificed the truth for illusion. Somehow we think that the concepts are not pointers, but are it.

I look at this new age movement and see that there is no place for truth there, it's a collection of beliefs, based on beliefs, and then more beliefs. Who cares about truth when you can just play with opinions, making yourself look clever. You can even take a role of a leader, nobody questions if you are awake as long as the words you repeat are the same that egos want to hear. Plus if you say: I love you, you get many I-love-yous back. That feeds everyones ego, everyone is happy :)

The bigger the lie, the more followers. People like to hear what supports their sense of self. They do not like challenge their model of reality. Accepting lies is like drinking poison, but please don't take it away, everyone drinks it. Like smoking. I used to smoke and I used to say, I like it, because it's cool, it tastes like shit, it hurts my lungs and it's no good for me, but with smokers around I'm not gonna quit, I would feel left out. Even if it's poisonous, I would say, that enjoyed it.

The lies are poison to the mind and they do more damage than tobacco. They kill your desire to dig for truth. Once you accept a popular belief, that belief starts making home in the torrent of thoughts and poisons your sense of reality.

Why do we like tv, movies? Games? - it's a perfect way to escape reality! Reality is bad, it's just much better to loose mind in some meaningless tv show about crap, so just for some time we don't need to see that horrible reality.

But the best way to escape what is real is by immersing fully into the unreal. People create themselves a comfortable illusion, where they become The One, the masters of universe, creators of all life, they get to repeat that for themselves day in day out, closing the doors to any questioning.  "I am everything, I need nothing"... Wow.

The craziest thing I heard recently is that all that is is happening is happening in YOU.
What??? In you? What are you? The universe?

What is you? There is no you in reality, but only in thinking.  There are thoughts about you, in thinking, it's just a collection of thoughts. I virus, I call it. It's the little tiny virus that infected intelligence with a single thought of self and that thought of self is assumed as universe itself. Oh my.

The thought is just that, a thought, it has no power in reality, it does not change what is. It does not create what is. It's just a reflection in the mind. It can affect what's real same way like the reflection of the moon in a lake.  It's just a reflection.  It's there, one can see the reflection, but if you assume that the reflection is the moon, you are blind to what is. Mind is like a lake and thoughts are reflections of reality.

Reality can not be disturbed by a thought, reality just is. And that's it.

So how come these thoughts about self become the most powerful force in the universe creating all that is?

Again, it's an unquestioned assumption, because if nobody around questions it, it must be true. The gurus say that: you are god! Wow, that's impressive, I want to be god! Yesss.... I want to be in control, I take the job of managing universe.  I am The One! My life does not really work, but hey, I'm so powerful that I hide my power from myself so I can play a human game and take pain. I don't like pain, really...

If you just scratch the surface of this lie, you see, all of it will fall.

You are not god, you are not. You are a monkey lost in a head. (slap)

Question everything.

You can only find freedom if you think for yourself. Stop feeding you guru, which is hungry for your attention, stop feeding the lies that poison you, just think for yourself.

Is it true?- let this be your new mantra, your new affirmation, your new guide in the maze of lies.

Is it true?

The self that you think is running your life and the universe is only a collection of thoughts about self. there is no self anywhere. Look.

Is it true?

There is no you.

Is it true?

Freedom

I had a dream last night that I was sitting in a circle of friends and I said:
"And we all gonna die!"
We all laughed out loud....LOL
.........................................


What is freedom?

For many years I was searching for personal freedom. I was reading books, following models, trying to believe my way into freedom.

The only thing that I did not see was that I was already free. I could not see that because I was looking to the opposite direction to where the freedom can be found.

Freedom is not believing that I am god and that I am creating this world. Freedom is deep knowing beyond doubt that there is no me as a separate self.

Freedom is flowing within life, not resisting what is.  Freedom is absence of nagging voice in a head judging what is. It's the absence of painful drama,  absence of guilt, feeling of not enough.

Freedom is clarity, love, peace, end of conflict in a head, living trough inspired action. It's freedom when you can express anger, without feeling that it's wrong. Freedom is seeing that you do not own anything nor anyone, that life just happens, that life is not yours, that you are not separate from life. Freedom is surrender, letting life decide what you want to do. Freedom from feeling of being rushed.

It's absence of fear of death, of nothingness.

It's indescribable freedom. And yet it's real. I'm living it.

Most visible change that I can share with you is that I stopped fighting. No more arguments with my husband, work mates, family. There is no self in the thinking that needs to be protected and defended. There is a deep understanding and love towards others.  There is freedom from  wanting to change what is.

You may ask here: hold on, aren't you trying to change what is by transmitting this message of no self?

To this I say, I'm not trying to change what is, there is only flowing with the inspiration. Thoughts are coming and the impulse to write this here now is making these words to appear in front of your eyes.  I'm not resisting this energy, I'm going with this call. This is not my call, it's a call that is happening. It's life blowing the trumpet, pointing to resolution, pointing to freedom.

It is life, that is in the body that moves the body. Life is the life of life. :)

Freedom is here now, as it always been. Only you can not find your way into freedom by following, by believing what other people say.

Freedom is found when all following ends and thinking for oneself begins.

It's the lies that live in your system unquestioned that distort the view. It's  the illusion that you are special makes you look at others from above, it's the I virus that is creating a feeling of separation from all that is. One can only find freedom by recognising lies not by building the fortress to protect them.

So don't just believe what is said, test it for yourself.

Birds are free, fish are free, human is free, only he has been lied to so much by so many, that he lost his ability to see.

No one can teach you to see.

No one can teach you how to be free.

You can look at the pointers and make your own mind up, which road signs to follow. It's usually those that make you think for yourself. It's those that "self" feels resistance to, not the ones that send you to sweet and fuzzy place and make you forget about freedom until the pain creeps in again.

Freedom is sweeter than the sweetest lie.

Just open your eyes and see.

You are already free.


............................................................

"Do not think you will necessarily be aware of your own enlightenment."
Dogen


...

My Story

Today seems to be a perfect day to share the story as it is 8 years exactly to my wake up call.

Here it goes.....

I was born in Lithuania 36 years ago.

As a child I was very bright and curious. At the age of 4 I could count to 100, when other kids were learning to count till 10.

As childhood goes, it was a happy one. So let's skip it here and move on to school years.

I always felt different, I had to be ahead of everything, best at everything. I had to test myself at various subjects and got lots of trophies for achievements in mathematics, literature, reading poetry, I liked drawing, dancing, playing piano, you name it. School was pretty boring to me, it was too easy.

I chose to study psychology at university. Just wanted to know, why people behave like they behave, what drives a human, why there is so much pain. I got disappointed with university and got into depression on my first year as I saw that it was pointless to memorise theories of other people and I did not see any use from them how to interpret life.

At this time I started to feel, that there is something odd going on. I was scared of myself! I felt that lots of times I would do something completely opposite to what I wanted to do, like something inside was choosing what to say and it wasn't me. Words would just come out and I would think, WTF...  So I started to experiment.  Any time I wanted to decide something I would drop a coin and do the opposite to what it was saying. Life was fun, I did not need to decide anything, just let the coin to decide.  I lived without worries, not thinking about the past or the future, staying in the now.

At the same time I was studying brain. That was the most fascinating subject.  How does it work, where are the centres for different functions, how does mind work, memory, perception, interpretation, intuition...
I was obsessed with mind.

I met my husband after 3rd year at university, I was 21. We are still together :)

A year later we came to England. It wasn't easy and it wasn't fun. The beginning is always tough.

My husband was tattooist when I met him. Who knew then that I will follow his steps. My first reaction was "no thanks, tattoos are not for me". Still laughing  now.

So 8 years ago I was just starting to tattoo, we both lived far away from family, both working through life, trying to make sense.

And then some magic happened. We were given some magic mushrooms by a friend. All day was special. I have written a letter to my parents saying thank you for everything and releasing them from blame for my unhappiness.

That night was magical. I saw that there is a different reality, unity, peace, feeling at home, no thoughts, I felt the energy running through everything, I saw that nothing is the way it seems, I felt that I could fly... And when I went to lay down in to the darkness I experienced death. It was so real. I knew, I'm not coming back, it was a bit scary, but exciting at the same time. There was this moment when I went into nothingness and a single tear run down my face.

There was no me.

And then I was back again. How strange.

Everything changed. I experienced something that I did not know, it existed. Connectedness and oneness, freedom from thinking. So I set up on a journey to find home.

First step was anger. Lots and lots of anger. I was feeling betrayed by people because nobody ever told me about this.  I was restlessly searching Internet in a quest to find out what's real. Sleepless nights, arguments, pain. It all calmed down when I saw, that nobody could tell me anything because there was no way to understand this, it had to be experienced.

So this was my wake up call. Experience of awakening, that was the starting point to search for freedom.
I started enquiry. WTF is going on. I started digging. First dig was ancient civilisations. I red this book "everything you know is wrong" which opened my eyes to different interpretation of evolution. I understood that there is nothing set in stone, it is just a matter of what books you read. I saw that with reading different books I accepted different points of view as my own. Then a next book would would give a different opinion and again, I would take it for granted, till next opinion.

I came across Mayan calendar. This was fascinating, as it was started 3114 BC and it pictured life from a perspective of synchronic order of time.

I dove into the studies of time and consciousness.

My thinking was, if it's true, if everyday day has a different energy which comes back in cycles, I would be able to see it. So it began. I got a notebook where I started to write how I felt on a day, what questions were arising, what was the general mood and then check that with the calendar.

The first day of notes fell on the first day of Mayan new year, July 26th.

Ok, I thought, interesting. So I went deeper studying patterns, synchronic events, people's signatures, Mayan mathematics, cosmic history. Very interesting. It's like a weaving of patterns, where I found myself as a part of the whole, always changing, never the same. Everyday was bringing me closer to realisation that it is history that is unfolding. We are just playing parts, designed by evolution itself. Fractal time. Synchronic order.

I saw synchronicity everywhere.  It is how I see the world.  It just is. Like a program that runs us. I always felt a sense of mission.

But first I had to help myself in order to help others. So I thought that by improving myself, I can achieve peace and experience less pain and then I could show others how to do it.

I read Osho, Richard Bach, James Redfield, I got into yoga, mudras, crystals, meditation, holosync, binaural beats, gealing music, detox and the rest. I really thought that if I do this or that it will make my life better.

It never did. It was the same- some good days, some bad days, laughter and tears. Joy and pain. Awareness and darkness. No matter what I did, this pattern never changed, till now.

At some point I got into Robert Scheinfeld's model and I was going deep into creating more and more illusion about who I am and what reality is. 9 months of following this only made me to realise that there is no such thing as getting somewhere by following somebody else.

Amazingly Robert recommended Jed McKenna. I thought, yeah, another know it all guru, that is gonna save my life.

I read Jed's trilogy in 13 days. This was another death that I experienced while being alive. It completely destroyed all that I knew was true. All beliefs went to nothingness. I was born again. That was the last book that I've read, there was no desire for more info. I knew that the only way out was through.

I started feel depressed again. Crying a lot which seemed for no reason. Inside parts of me were falling of.

I lost hope, faith, meaning, purpose, all I saw around was bullshit. Nothing made sense anymore. I saw humanity in a deep shit and I saw that nobody is aware of that. Just living painfully lives, not trying to get any clarity.

My existence became meaningless.

I called for death, I knew intellectually that self is not real, only I could not see it yet.

That was painful time. Stripping layers hurts. Seeing how everybody is trying to hide the void so nobody would notice it was painful. I felt alone. Hated myself. Hated the lies and did not see the truth.

At some point things started to change, that's when we booked a holiday, I relaxed, I new that I can not change what is, that the only true choice I have is either to go with the flow or against it.

I chose the path of least resistance and was following the signs. Pain lifted. Yes! This is it, I thought, dropping resistance is something that realy works. Releasing started.

Holiday was great, spa, healing thermal waters, nothing to do, but be, enjoying whatever is. There was a huge flood then and it felt like a lot if shit was just being washed of.

The day the holiday was over I found Ruthless Truth forum. It was amazing: these people wanted truth! I felt like this was a right place for me. I signed on as 315 (electric eagle) and my fight begun. It was just a last push I needed, the realisation of the lie of self. What Jed started, Ciaran finished. "There is no you, look." These were fierce days of fighting in the arena back then. Anger and hate was the fuel to set the lies ablaze.

The lie of I exposed.  Pufff

It never occurred to me to face the truth directly. I knew that after stripping all that is false down, it's only what is true remains. I went painful way, cutting trough bit by bit. I realise the value of facing the truth directly and once it's seen taking the path of least resistance, allowing the bullshit to fall.

So yeah, I'm out. No more ups and downs, no more owning anything, no more personal pain. It's indescribable freedom.

I live with my beautiful husband and a cutest cat, I love what I do and I take every day as it comes :) smile is back.

The flow is all there is and I'm not separate. There is no me. Just life. There never was a separate self.

The character is still here, playing out the human history show. There is no actor that moans about the role. There is no witness. There is no judge in a head which decides who is right and who is wrong. All just flows.
Mind does not belong to me, neither does brain. I see brain as an areal, receiver and transmitor, all functioning  as expression of higher order of life through synchronicity and time.

Consciousness, awareness are not mine to own, neither I see that I am awareness. It just is. Seeing is. Life just is.

It's such a relief to know that I am not in charge, that I can just be, just let life take me where it flows.
Home is here, right now. Where it has alway been.

Let life guide you and once you reach the gateless gate, step forward. There is no you. Embrace freedom.

The only thing that separates you from oneness is you. Remove yourself and oneness is all there is.

I'm here to tell you: Time is now. The wave of awakening is like tsunami, there is no way escaping what is.

So go with the flow. Until there is just flow.

......... The end. .........


related posts:
Hello
New beginnings

Joy Is Free

 

FREEDOM FROM 'I' LIE!!!

I AM AWAKE

THERE IS NO SEPARATION BETWEEN "ME" AND LIFE BECAUSE THERE IS NO SEPARATE ME

DIVINE MANIFESTING, LIFE MANIFESTING, THAT INCLUDES ALL, OBJECTS, SUBJECTS, MOVEMENT AND ALL

Incredible feeling of no separation all day today. Simple profound shift - all is the same - the veil is gone. Now I understand what people are saying "ALL is ONE". I am not sure they understand it, but I do right now. All is ONE - Divine manifestation is going, and includes everything - NO exception! You are, reading this line is not separate from the Divine, you are the Divine manifesting. The separation is only in your head. Remove it and see it for yourself!

Today I went on a bike ride. I am just a recreational biker who rides and look around. So mostly I've done rides from home to the market or in a park. I rode today 22 miles on a North Country Trail, and this is was incredible and delicious! Complete relaxation, love with everything around, seeing everything for the first time - no mental separation - everything is the same - a constant movement of The Existence. Feeling of so much satisfaction, completeness and gratitude overpowered me for a moment when I was sitting by the stream. I texted to my son "I am done. I am done with my search. Everything else will be just enjoyment of unfolding, whatever will come my way". He is 18, and as much as he can remember - I was searching. Hard-core practices, tons of books, constantly purifying the mind. Years after years he asked why I am doing this or that. He is so happy for me now! And how I am happy - I can't even describe - just pure appreciation for every little detail in my entire life - everything brought me to this realization for this simplest truth that hidden not. Just look. Deeply look.

May I hug everybody on this forum. Personal. Each of you, guys!
Ciaran, Unison and 315 - you played a monumental role in my Awakening. Deep, deep appreciation!

Joy

 

 

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Anyone else want's to share?

email me ;)

It's Obvious

It's obvious.

The truth is not hidden. It's obvious.  It's right here, in front of your eyes. There is no separate self that is running your life. It's all just life unfolding, beautiful creation, alive and ever present Life.

What is taking you so long to see it? Why are you resisting the idea that life is all there is? Why are you defending your "self"? Why do you think that the bubble of illusion that you have created for yourself is all there is? What is stopping you from questioning reality? What is holding you back? -It's fear.

I know one thing for sure, truth will set you free. No songs, no books, no videos about how beautiful your ego is gonna set you free.  A simple recognition of truth is most powerful force that will free you from limitations and suffering.

How to look?
First, set the intention to look. You can only see if you look. And once you call for truth to come forward and free you from illusion of you, it will happen. Just be in the moment and go with the flow.

Look at nature: all is in constant movement, all is alive, breathing, growing, evolving. Now see yourself as a child of nature.  Why are you different? Is it because you are wearing clothes, making money for living, thinking?

You are not different and you are not separate being outside of all there is. You are here, alive, breathing, moving...

Nature is a force that drives everything in life.  Life force animates animals, plants, sun and planets, human is not an exception. All is one.

How come humans feel separate, above the rest, outside of nature? What happened to humans? Why they are so lost, why are they so destructive, full of pain? Why do they live on a planet, look around and see nothing?

It's in the mind. We assume that it is us that drive the mind and the body. But thinking is not something we can control. Thoughts come and go, there is no way we can stop thinking. It's like a river, flowing. So if we are not in charge of thinking, why do we think that we are in charge of moving? Is it because everyone you know keeps the same belief? Yes. Is because everyone you know believes that there is our very special separate self that runs our life. Yes, it's because it's easier to accept somebody else's beliefs than think for yourself.

We have mind. But mind has us in prison. We have to reclaim our mind so we can use it as a tool, for thinking. The mind that runs on belief only creates tension and conflict. Free of self mind is clear. Is it clarity that you seek?

Put your mind to work, question, seek answers; do not just accept any one belief. Do not read this and next minute forget it all. Prove me wrong! Challenge me.

Life just is. Look at the nature.  It's obvious.

When I look into the eyes of my cat, I see life looking back. He is a loving beautiful creation, and so full of life, so aware, so ready.

When I look into the eyes of a human, I see life too, only there is not so much wakefulness there, I see them lost in thought, always thinking, judging, measuring, comparing, competing, fighting what is.  Of course I see people in joy too, but it's not about that. :)

Imagine a day free of confusion in the mind. Everything is just flowing, mind is at peace, and war with what is is over. Peace, relaxation, joy, connectedness, oneness, flow.  It's real. It's here right now.  It's always been this way. Only you are not able to see it, because of lie that lives in your system. The lie that you are a separate self that is running your life.

It's only life. It's always been just life. And that is not nothing, that is everything, all that is. The years are passing by; it's time to look with intention to see. Call for clarity. Call for truth. Life is waiting for you to make your last step. Just look.

It's obvious.

There is no separate self that runs your special separate life.

Test it. Until you know.