Exploring Consciousness Through Technology

Since I wrote about finding one's own path, I feel to share a little about mine.

In between the first kick to start searching for what I AM in 2002 and finding the unexpected answer in 2010, I was a seeker. I did not call myself that, I did not connect to other seekers, nor I knew that there was a whole seeking culture. My path led me to technology. I always had a love for technology, for me that is an expression of intelligence and by finding ways to enhance human experience, an opportunity to evolve in higher speeds.

Of course, it's not about speeds, but rather shortcuts. For example, first time I found out about Holosync I was super excited. Using technology brought me an opportunity to experience deep meditational states, even though I have never sat in a meditation for longer than ten minutes. Meditation interested me but not enough to set me on some path that I would involve sitting still for hours and day after day till something unknown could be achieved. That was laughable for me. I could sit still and listen to music, but not to my own thoughts. That was way too boring. And there were a lot of thoughts.

With the use of technology I got that I don't need to do anything to switch off thinking, no practice is necessary, one can just put phones on and go right into amazing meditation states. No teacher or guru was needed. The brain was entrained by different brainwaves and desired states came easy, with a touch of play button.

Hollosync was followed by all other kinds of brain entrainment, subliminal messages, healing music, tuning forks etc. My path took me to explore how different frequencies are creating different sensations in the mind and body. And yes, this has nothing to do with the search for the answer to the ultimate question, but all to do with energetic side, the wellness, healing, and exploration of what human experience has to offer.


Fast forward a good few years to 2016 I arrive in Mexico, to participate in Barnaby's retreat. To my surprise I meet people that too are into technology, but not in a hobby like fashion like me, but for real. It was incredible to meet Guy Harriman, the creator of Ajna light. After ten minutes of trying his invention I stood up and the first thought said- I want this. I will get this and will show this to many people.

This technology is so beyond anything I could play with before. As soon as we were back from Mexico, I ordered Ajna Light and I could not wait for it.

I started to use it regularly, every day, sometimes with breaks. Sometimes it felt I had to take a break, to integrate and chill, otherwise, I may get too high. The light gave me what I needed most. Just laying down under it would take me to deep states of healing, release, expansion, inner explosions of bliss. The thinking mind would simply stop thinking and awareness of Presence would be felt. Every session is different and even same settings used would give a unique experience. Sometimes I felt like having higher intensity, sometimes only one percent. It's completely adjustable and it has many settings. It's such fun to work with this light. Of course, I can not describe the experience, and anything I would say would sound just like a few words that have no connection to your experience if you have never tried it.

I usually see lots of colors, mandalas, geometrical shapes or just while light, but it's only visual part of it. The best bit is that mind stops talking. And then the secret sacred place of most high is here. Even writing about this now I get the feeling.. with regular using I feel that it's easy to drop thinking and just be aware.

The light session gives a real trip without taking anything. Light alone is enough. It also combines with music, the computer is programmed with many tracks and I can put my own preferred healing sounds. I like to use some essential oils or incense with it too to get even richer, mind blowing experience every time.

This is a fun way to explore consciousness, find answers to questions and just melt into delicious stillness. This world disappears and the inner world, the heart opens. It's nourishing, relaxing, relieving and delicious.

The best part of having the Ajna light is being able to share it. We had a healing space set up in our house back in England. Quite a few people came to check it out, to have the experience. It is always a pleasure to witness the first impression. People's eyes light up, most loose words and don't know what to say for a while. It really is an unexpected gift that can only be tasted, no description can come close. Pure instant illumination, a deep sense of connection, expanded consciousness, sense of love and being loved- these are just a few words from me.

Now we took this tool to Mexico and already gave a few sessions here. My intention is to organize retreats and use this light as treatment, individually and as a group. I'm looking for a place right now and soon will announce dates.

If you like to learn more about Ajna light there are many videos on YouTube where other people describe their experiences and Guy Harriman talks about his invention.

It's very interesting how this technology found me, without even asking and first I tried it, then I read about it. As if it's meant to be. I'm feeling grateful that there are people creating amazing tools that really work and bring huge benefits to the user. 

Another amazing piece of technology that found me is PEMF mat (pulsing electromagnetic fields), but more about it later. If you have any questions for me, please use the contact form on the right and I will write back.


Love and Light.

The Path

How do you know what path to take?

There is only one path- your own, which is perfect for you. No one else can take you there, only you.

I meet a lot of seekers through the Liberation Unleashed forum. They all are looking for something. Normally, seeking includes: reading books, following prescriptions, learning new methods, searching for wisdom, looking for answers that someone could provide. That's all good, of course, and it is part of the path. Each path is as unique as we are. There is not one way or one method that would fit all. That is the difficulty for the seeker- which way to go, who to follow, how to reach that perfect state?

There is only one path and it's purely your own. Following someone else is not going to get you to the desired 'happily ever after'. Following good advice can be useful and if taken as an inspiration, it can bring you to different ideas for sure, but nothing taken from outside has the same value such as when you know that you are following your own heart.

The Liberation Unleashed forum is a place where seekers meet 'The Gate'. Everyone that comes to LU are looking for something and it is here that we point where to look so that the seeking can end and the seeing, finding can begin. 'The Gate' is a point of recognition, that the separate self, (as we thought it was) never really was. The seeker was never there, there was only seeking, trying to understand, analyse, interpret and describe something that words can't touch.

Once 'The Gate' is crossed, once the seeing really happens experientially, once it sinks in, the life no longer feels and looks the same. And then we are back on a path. This time, it's not about finding a new method or system, but turning within and undoing all that was built upon the idea of a separate person running the show. It's all about deconstruction, releasing, surrendering, where the old belief system falls away and the new way of seeing emerges and stabilizes. This process takes some months and years, clearing. It's not something that happens instantly like many seekers hope for. There is a lot to examine, investigate, clarify. Some methods learned from teachers, indeed can be fun, useful and helpful, but you can not be a follower anymore. If you are following, that's not freedom. Freedom is finding your own path, that works for you! That may include some tips and suggestions and useful techniques, when they are needed, for a period that they are needed. But, if you are finding yourself in someone else's crowd of followers, you have been hypnotized, which can happen easily, as mind wants something to hold on to, something to feel safe.

There is only a short journey to make- from here to here. From thinking to being. From being lost in thoughts about what is not happening to stillness and awareness of what IS. This journey can seem long and twisted, but in essence we are never not here and not now, it's only a matter of focus shift. And of course, calm, peaceful mind can see this instantly, while mind that has a lot going on simply can not find. Thoughts are too intense, too many.

The path is really about finding the way to get that beautiful mind to relax so it can be aware of presence. Don't buy into techniques that want your praise and attention. Don't follow leaders that have something that you do not have. Find your own way that brings that calm and joy of being closer. The sooner you start tuning inside, the sooner you will find what works for you.

All I am saying here is that no one can do it for you, no method can do it for you, no path of someone else will take you home. Finding your own way is freedom. Freedom to be you in all the glorious uniqueness. Just like a flower that does not need to know the way or method to bloom.

Hello, Pressence

"Truth will set you free," we know these words. I've had that as a signature in the LU forum since the beginning. Only recently did I change it to "Truth recognized will set you free". And here is why: Truth can not do anything if it is not consciously recognized and lived. If one is not receptive to it, no words of truth can do anything. You can be bombarded with truth all day long and it will not touch anything in you if there is no openness and no fertile ground for it to land.

So what is this truth that has the power to set you free? It's Presence.

We are aware, we are conscious, we can feel that we know. We can be still and feel that there is this spacious sense of presence. Here now, always available to be noticed, recognized consciously. This presence has a tone, a flavor; it's rich and full of aliveness.

The problem that one may have is how to still the mind to the point of being able to rest in a thoughtless space. There are many ways to practice that, meditation being the main exercise. You can also use technology, or whatever that works for you. The mind filled with fears and anxieties, shame, guilt and regret can not be still. It keeps working on trying to resolve and explain, protect a person. The mind can not relax until it thinks that it is its job to keep everything in control and in a certain way. It can not just sit still if it thinks that it needs to perform tasks and figure a way out of problems. But the only real function of the mind is to be aware! To be aware. The end. Let this sink.

The mind is doing work that is really not its work. Creating and solving problems is tension in itself, especially when problems seem to have no solutions. The tension builds up to the point of collapse or explosion. Neither are joyful experiences. Only calm, peaceful mind can get to stillness. Only when it's no longer pressuring itself into performing tasks that are not of its responsibility can the mind let go and be still.

Stillness is found inside. This is where we go silently, secretly and preciously. This is where the outside world is no longer relevant. Nothing from outside can give us peace. Changing the world outside is not of our power. It's only inside that we can find the home. And it's always here now. It is the Presence.

There are many words to point to the same Presence. Whatever word resonates, be it Self, Love, God, Life, Source, Buddha Mind, Christ Consciousness, Tao, Zen, The Great Spirit, Divine Presence, Consciousness, Aliveness, Being... You can call it whatever you like, even make up a word, as long as you consciously know what it means. I call IT Wooo, as that how it feels when the connection is made. Find your own word that hits the bulls-eye in your experience. Then find that which The Word points to in your experience. Here now, there is a sense of something being within- a sweetness, a silent joy of Being that feels like a flow of blissful lightness through the chest. Hello, Divine Presence. This is where we rest in the silent space of truth of Being. This is what the sages and gurus and wise men and women point to. The sacred place within, that Self-love, that Spiritual Heart that resides underneath all waves of thoughts and emotions.

Hello, Presence.

We rest in that presence and listen to what is there. Simply being open to it, being receptive. Listening rather than talking. Consciously recognizing it for what it is. (again use your own word here)

Bringing focused aware attention to just being, allows the system to re-calibrate, realign, refresh, erase all that no longer serves. Then there is a deep sense of peace and a delicious, calm feeling of completeness.

There is only one Presence. We can all tune into that and make a conscious connection with it. The silence that is felt, even for a few seconds--three to four times a day is the home. We don't need to solve problems and be concerned about the future- this activity won't give you a lasting sense of peace with what is. Take time to just sit in silence, dropping all pressure from the head, releasing all wants, shoulds, desires, desire for power and security, all trying to fix or change what is apparently not working and all expectations about what this experience could be like. Be there just for the sake of being connected.

This is IT. Rest in the silent aware space. What is that? What does it have to tell you? What feeling wants to be felt? Go deeper and deeper. This is where assurance that all is well and completeness can be felt. This is how the worldly problems melt away. Fall in love with the Divine Presence and how it feels. Fall in love with Love itself. That is where the connection with the ..... (use your word) happens. And when it happens, you know! You found the golden center of Being... abide in that and that will set you free.

Inspired by The Infinite Way teaching

The End of the Old Life

I had a wonderful time at the retreat in Mexico last September and received many gifts from people I met there. Now five months later I reflect back to see what was the biggest impact of the experience. I've heard that there is a sweet after retreat time and then life goes to normal, but since this was my first retreat that I have ever been to, I have nothing to compare my experience. One thing I must say- life is not coming back to "normal".

I did not want to return to the UK, there was so much still unexplored in Mexico. We did not get to travel much in those 12 days we spent there and see what else the land had to offer. It felt like I only dipped my toes into the magical pond of wonder. I did not get to see cenotes or snorkel or taste some different Mexican foods. Upon arriving home immediately I felt I wanted to go back.

The big realization that dawned on me after the retreat was that I do not have to stay in the UK any longer. I and my husband have spent here many years, we made ourselves comfortable, met many friends, we were doing work that was creative and challenging and all was good. But for many years I was thinking where to go next. The UK was great, for time being, but the weather has always been an important factor and I was looking to change the climate, I just did not know where to go. I can't say I love the dampness and cold or the big gray cloud. Winters in England for me were times when all I wanted was to hibernate and wait for the spring to come which always was coming too late. Summers here did not give me enough sunshine and heat with all that big cloud and chemtrails in the sky. The cold and darkness sent me to soft winter blues year after year.

This year was no exception, I was so not looking forward to winter. After the retreat, it became clear that I want to live in a beautiful alive place with vivid colors and sandy beaches. I much prefer the sun and warmth. I feel that time has come to make a move, to get out of the place that served me well but is no longer where I want to be.

I am ready to move. I'm ready to leave behind the life we created, the tattoo studio which I really love, my friends here and LU community that emerged. I'm ready for new adventures in a new country and a fresh start. I feel that I arrived at the point where staying in cold and darkness no longer makes sense and to stay here would mean self-inflicted suffering.

I had such an amazing time at the retreat and I want to do more of them. It was great to share and receive healing, insights, joy and magic with a group of open-minded brave individuals. I would love to create experiences and support others on the journey of awakening and integration. So my plan is to go to back to the Carribean beach and follow my hearts calling. I am planning to do retreats in person and online and share with everyone that is ready to open up. The experience I had was so beautiful and loving that I want to create that with more people. I'm ready to drop the life I have and dive into the unknown, to serve awakening humans, trusting that this is what I'm called to do. This is the next chapter, or shall I say next book of my life.

I was so lucky to be introduced to people that are dedicated to their calling, creating and holding space for others to heal and to explore the nature of reality. I am very much inspired by Paul and Kathie Scott from Canada that dedicate their lives to serve humanity and Diana with Juan that are true healers with many tools to offer. I am also so grateful to have all this advanced technology for de-stressing the mind, heart, and body (PEMF mat and Ajna light). It has been amazing to be able to share this with quite a few people that came to retreat in January and made visits to our home. It is lovely to witness a change in the face and shine in the eyes, just after a short session. It has been tremendously beneficial to be able to use the mat and the light every day. The winter blues did not visit this year, just because of having a source of light at home. The light and mat will travel with us and will be part of the program at the retreats.
I will soon announce dates and programs of upcoming events that I will be organizing. Watch out space on this page for further details. You can also email me if you would like to find out more.

We are looking to end our stay in England very soon, there are a lot of practical things to sort out and things to let go. This is a real deconstruction of structure and patterns of living that will soon be replaced by the new.


On another note, I have got a few copies of Liberation Unleashed book and if you would like a signed copy, I would be happy to send it to you. It's only £10 plus postage. I would be very grateful to everyone that can leave an honest Amazon review after reading it. That would help a lot to spread the word about the book. 

Sending love... May your heart be light and happy!

A Gift

I had a really great time at the Liberation Unleashed Intensive Retreat. It was delighful to work with a group of people that were open and willing to look at what came up, ready to release whatever it was that no longer worked in their lives. As I sat in a chair, I invited everyone to come and sit next to me in front of audience. Everyone had a chance to share and brought a gift, something that we could all relate to. Some gifts we received! There was laughter, some tears and joy. some deep silence too. We all felt softened and connected at the end.

After the retreat I thought to share something with you, dear reader, and my sharing came through as a story. 

A Gift

Carol lived on a mountain. She was leading a quiet life, enjoying walks in nature and occasional meetings with wild animals. In the evenings she would sit in her garden under a cherry tree watching sunsets. She would dream of places that she wanted to visit and quietly wish for her life to be different. The cherry tree was in full blossom, the air smelled fresh and promising. Carol was having tea and listening to birds singing.

Suddenly she heard something. She walked back into the house and heard that someone was at the door. That was strange. She did not expect anyone.

Cautiously she went to the door and looked through the eyehole. There was another loud knock.

She did not recognize the figure, so she asked, “Who’s there?”

“You don’t know me, but I brought you a gift.”

“A gift? Nobody ever gives me gifts. I don’t want it. Please go away.”

“Don’t you even want to know what the gift is?”

“Nope. I don’t take gifts from strangers. Leave me alone.”

Carol felt anxious. It was getting late and the sun was starting to set. The man behind the door felt threatening. She asked him again to leave her alone.

Knock knock.

This time the man kicked the door, getting impatient. It was strange that the woman would not even open the door to speak to him. People were normally friendly around here. But Carol’s door stayed shut.

Carol looked through the eyehole, trying to see what gift the man had. She was curious, but fearful.

“You can just leave the gift and walk away!” she shouted. “I am not used to strangers here. Please leave me alone.”

The man did not move. He was here to deliver a gift and was not leaving until it was received. He took a phone out of his pocket and dialed a number.

“Boss, she is not opening the door. What do I do? … Right. You are sending help? … Thanks.”

He sat down on the steps to wait.

Carol watched him through the window, hiding behind the curtain. She was confused. All her life, no one had given her anything. She worked hard for what she wanted. She never received things for free. She never gave gifts either. That concept did not exist in her life. She was self-sufficient and content with her solitary life.

The man was still there.

The sun went down. Carol switched on the lights and paced the room, growing more nervous.

“You are scaring me,” she shouted. “I don’t want gifts. Leave now!”

“Oh Carol, don’t worry. You will like the gift. Just open the door.”

“How do you know my name?”

“I know that this is exactly what you wanted.”

“Now you are really freaking me out! I don’t want gifts. Keep it. Just leave me alone.”

“I can’t,” he said. “I have to give it to you by hand.”

Carol felt panicky. Her heart was racing. Her body was tense. Still, she did not give in. The stubbornness held firm. It never occurred to her that accepting the gift might be an option.

She heard voices approaching. Two more figures appeared.

“Carol, please open the door. We brought gifts.”

“I don’t want any gifts!”

“But we are not leaving without giving them to you.”

“Why are you doing this? I never asked for anything!”

“That’s why they are gifts,” a woman’s voice said softly. “You don’t ask. They come.”

“That sounds insane,” Carol shouted. “How can I trust this isn’t something dangerous?”

“It isn’t,” the man said. “So are you opening the door?”

“No!”

“Then we will stay.”

The three of them sat down on the steps.

Carol watched them and suddenly thought: They are stubborn like me.

That softened something.

For the first time, she noticed how rigid she was. Winning at stubbornness suddenly felt pointless. This situation would only end if she changed something.

She made tea and thought about the people outside in the cold. A strange warmth appeared in her chest.

The night passed.

In the morning, they were still there.

Exhausted, confused, and close to tears, Carol stood up and walked to the door. Her hands shook as she opened it.

“Would you like some coffee?” she heard herself say.

They nodded.

She invited them inside.

They sat quietly at the table, sipping coffee. Carol felt her heart soften. Tears came. She felt something release.

She whispered, “Thank you.”

The man stood up and hugged her. They stayed like that for a while, without words.

Carol laughed. She saw what the gift was — the softening itself.

The visitors smiled, bowed, and left.

Carol stood alone, open in a way she had never known before.

Knock knock.