“Hi Ilona,
Thank you for the meeting yesterday, it was a very special experience, and so far the change in perception of reality is sticking and is similar to coming out of long Vipassana retreats.
Truly amazing how simply and beautifully this works, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I will try to keep this brief but from the heart of the exact experience as good as I can.
Yesterday evening after our meeting I felt very present in the body, and movements of hands and body were more coordinated than usual, and there was no feeling of having to rush anything, I moved slowly and elegantly with easy in mind and body. It seems like the before omnipresent stress sensation of always having to be somewhere else than here and now is somewhat diminished. I laid in bed before sleeping and felt the bedding and cushions wrap around me like never before, really noticing the sensations, the thoughts had less of a grip on "me" and I slept very well.
I woke up with a tiny smile this morning for the first time in a long time, and instead of my meditation routine, I decided to just be aware of sensations and try to communicate internally with anything that needed to be seen and noticed, loved and accepted.
I have been able to keep that awareness very much all day, and have had moments of butterfly feelings by just watching my daughter, and even just sitting quietly and looking at objects has at times today brought some interesting sensations that I have never noticed before.
Anger, irritability, and confusion has arisen in the belly today, has been acknowledged and loved and have disappeared again before sticking around as usual for long periods.
Everything in life seems now less urgent and has less meaning and tension around it, like the attachment to outcome is less. I went through my facebook feed and unfollowed a bunch of pages with "answers" to some of all my searching and had a feeling I really don't need that clutter anymore.
I also had feelings of more energy, and some restlessness came along with that, I sat with it and accepted that as well.
It feels like everything is the same everywhere around me, but the awareness has grown, and tension in the mind-body connections is less.. There is a growing joy in my being of feeling things and emotions more strongly, and feeling like being a part of life once again.
Tonight I will try some more Deep Looking and ask mind and heart of they are at peace, and see what answers come up - during my day today there has been more focus on raw sensations most of the day, not much inquiry about the messages the sensations bring with them.
I am trained in many modalities, healing, coaching, Chi-Kung etc etc (like most seekers probably) but I never felt the urge or interest in helping people with any of the techniques I have learned, it just seemed a little useless, like a band-aid on a big wound. I feel what I got from Deep Looking is completely different, and the only thing I would offer to anyone in the search for freedom.
I will be all ears and mentally noting how we go about with the process, and would love to learn more, and be able to guide people the way you have done with me, if that is okay with you of course?
Have a beautiful day
With heartfelt thanks and love”
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