Short Conversation with Paulo

I had a short conversation with Paulo over facebook chat, it took a few days and was light and easy. Paulo was ready as they come...


Paulo 
Hi Ilona how are you? Thanks for accepting my request of friendship.
I'm sending this message because I've read some post in your blog and I'm reading the book of L U, and my current situation is that I know all the theory but not a lot of experience it. Putting in your way, I am at the gate but I haven't crossed it yet. I would like to ask you if you could somehow help me cross it.
Thank you for reading this and for your answer, if you choose to do it.
Take care.

Ilona 
Hi Paulo, thanks for message. What do you expect to experience?

Paulo 
Hi Ilona, I expect to experience the unlimited essence, I Know that we are not this limited idea of self, the ego, in my case known as Paulo, that we are not separate from each other, that all this is just an illusion, but that is also thought, it's just theories, our essence, what we really are can't be put in words only experienced.

Ilona 
Do you exist? If so as what?

Paulo 
The I that is writing this is just an idea, a limited idea living a dream and like a dream it is real for me, this limited idea known as Paulo, but I realize that I am not just that, it is just an illusion, that I am unlimited, even not that I am as I am, so this limited idea doesn't exist it is just a spark, a dust in existence.

Ilona 
Is it I that is reading this?
Can a thought read, write or do anything?

Paulo 
A thought is just a thought in itself it can't do anything, but it can create the illusion of doing, when the identification with it occur, and the limited idea, the dream called Paulo believes it's reading this and writing this and as he believes it's real for him. When i put my self in a observing position the illusion fades away, but then it comes back rapidly. Could this idea Paulo fight back in order to survive? Could it be useful in some way while living in this dream?

Ilona
What is identification? More thoughts?
What is that identifies? Or is it just more thoughts that make up a story?
Does story about identification create an identification? How does it happen exactly? What is that is holding the illusion together?
Investigate this in your experience and write what you notice.

Paulo
Yes identification is more thoughts, and this thoughts are just keeping "me" away from this moment, now, are distracting me from being as I am, making me believe that I have to find my self, my true self, expecting to find release from this limited idea Paulo, that believes that have needs to met, that have obligations with his family, to earn money and all that turmoil keeps away noticing life as it is.

Ilona 
Is "me" more then a thought?

Ilona 
There is no true self. There is nothing to find. How does this make you feel?

Paulo
It makes me feel ok with it, the one that's trying to find something, that's trying to achieve higher meaning in reality doesn't exist, it's just a illusion, a limited idea, a thought appearing in the mind, creating evasion from real life happening as it is. I am now letting go the identification with that thought, that idea in order to let the flow of life lead the way. Sometimes the limited idea, the ego strikes back trying to gain control again, but the duration of it it's getting shorter.

Ilona 
Nice.
There is no ego. It's just a label, that is the same as label character.
There is nothing that is outside of flow trying to control it. It's all one flow, one movement. Is life happening to you or as you? What do you notice here?

Paulo 
Life happens as me, in me and through me, life has no limits, just flowing as it is. Life is whole, is perfect, but even that words can't really express it, because words are limited.

Ilona 
Yes, words are limited when it comes to expressing experience. They are just words, descriptions, not experience itself.
When you look at word being as a noun and as a verb, can you see a difference? Is there a being? Or just being?

Paulo 
No being exists only being as it is, life happening in all its manifestations without no one noticing it, no observer, just observation being done. When the illusion fades away life becomes clear and simple as it is and there's nothing to be done or undone.

Ilona 
Yey! So, can you say that shift has happened or is it still happening? Anything interesting being noticed?

Paulo
In fact there's no shift to happen only a thought about shift happening, the shift shifts. It's all more clear now, still being all the same. Removing the "I" and flowing with life, whatever comes come and that's it.

Ilona
Nice! Was there ever a separate self?

Paulo 
No, the separate self is just an illusion, just a thought that occupied all the space in "our" awareness, when we let it go the unlimited space of existence comes into "our" awareness.
In your opinion is this crossing the gate definitive or sometimes you get caught in the illusion of an "I"?

Ilona 
Can you ever mistaken Santa story for reality? It's just like this. You can get caught up, of course, but, any time you look, it's clear- there is no I in charge.

Paulo 
Yeah There's no "I". How did this releasing changed your life, and the peoples that are near you?

Ilona 
i can't even remember how it was to struggle living with this idea. now i am relaxed and open to whatever comes up. mind is no longer occupied with trying to solve a riddle.
how about you? what is different now since we started this conversation?

Paulo 
It's more clear that there's no I, just another thought. And a bunch of stories related to that "I".

Ilona 
is there any difference in normal situations?

Paulo 
No, they are as they are.

Ilona 
cool. can you say that you have definitely seen that i/ separate self is an illusion?

Paulo 
Yes "I" can say, "I" know it

Ilona
we usually ask some final questions, are you ready for them?

Paulo
You say that this end of illusion is a beginning, beginning for what in your idea?

Ilona 
beginning of falling, all that is not true falls away. system restarts, old beliefs surface to be cleared, beginning of living authentic life without believing in separation. it's an opening to freedom .

Paulo 
Yeah, Ok
"I" resonate with that.
Yes you can make the final questions if you want.

Ilona 
Sweet! Here they are
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

6) Anything to add?
please take time and answer when ready in full. if you prefer, email to markedeternal@gmail.com

Paulo 
1) There is no "I" just an idea, a thought, a story of "I".

2) This "I" appears when the belief in it occurs, starting in childhood and being reinforced along the way in growing up and adding more points to the story of "I". And this
And this "I" is a good excuse to trying to control life, instead of living it as it is. It's a limited idea that believes it can be better than life itself, even if it means to suffer along the way in order to prove it right.

3)It feels liberating. The difference is let life express itself as it is in all its manifestations and letting go the idea of "I" fade away as any other thought and enjoy the ride of the present moment as it presents .

4) What pushed "me" over was becoming aware of the expectations about what would be awakening.

5) No "I" don't decide anything, just the illusion of deciding could happen. Life is whole as it is, there's nothing to decide about it Decision manifests itself whenever there's decision to be made. One example is the way the L U information become aware to "me", life bring it to me when the conditions for the illusion to go was met.

6) Just to say thank you in helping the clarification of the illusion. And keep doing this wonderful liberation unleashed process. If there's something "I" can do for you say it.

Ilona 
Hi Paulo, thank you for answers.  I can see that you see. I would love to invite you to join LU community on Facebook. But in order to do that I would need to post our conversation on my blog and see if other guides have any questions for you. Would this be ok? I can use any name you like. Sometimes people read these conversations and get it, just from reading..
Let me know, please.
Much love.

Paulo 
Hi Ilona yes, you can post in your blog, could you send me a copy of the post to my email and yes you can put my name.
Stay well, much love.

Ilona
thank you!